Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


Autism

by FireEyes


Twelve years not knowing

But all the signs are showing

I don’t understand these things called emotions

But when I get hurt they make a commotion

You tell me to look at your eyes when you are talking

And to keep the same stride when you are walking

I don’t understand why that’s normal

It seems like something more formal 

I question myself and if I am broken

And everyone wonders what I said after I have spoken

I use too many big words

I’m not trying to be smart that’s just how my brain works

I’m not special, I’m different

But every time I try to explain it comes out incoherent

My brain going this was and that

But not understanding social cues makes me a brat?

Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

My daily routine becomes a mission

I can’t just “get over” my strong passions

But they keep saying it and my heart crashes

Living in constant anxiety

People’s questioning piles more on me

Happy; arms flail

Sad or angry; a tsunami wave I’m trying to sail

I love all my friends

I’m loyal and it hurts when our relationship ends

Letting things go is so hard

And little things leave me scarred

Even parents don’t understand

I’m off in my own land

Just stop trying to intervene

I want to be a normal human if I am even going to be seen

I am not defective

I have a different perspective

Stop with all this misinformation

I am still a human creation

Can I just tell people without being treated like an outsider?

Maybe I could but I would then be an outlier


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



Random avatar

Points: 185
Reviews: 5

Donate
Thu Dec 03, 2020 3:23 pm
Kalsie2179 wrote a review...



My sister is autistic and sometimes it is hard to understand what she is going through. Mainly because I am not dealing with her illness. I understand that she has social backwardness and that she doesn't know what's appropriate to say to people. when I read this it made me understand much more. thanks for writing this. I feel like I understand much more now.




FireEyes says...


Thank you! I was originally making the poem to express how I felt because when I would explain to people nothing made sense. So I'm glad this poem made sense to the people who have read it.



User avatar
26 Reviews


Points: 1518
Reviews: 26

Donate
Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:45 pm
View Likes
MadilynReads says...



This is such a heartfelt poem, I have a brother and a cousin that are autistic. There are so many struggles and I won’t say that I know what it feels like but I can understand parts of it. Overall I am very impressed with the structure and rhyming of the poem, it is very artistic! In my opinion, autistic people are generally very good people and are so brilliant with their logic skills! It is a very good poem and very emotional! I would like to hear more poetry like this!




User avatar
26 Reviews


Points: 1518
Reviews: 26

Donate
Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:45 pm
MadilynReads wrote a review...



This is such a heartfelt poem, I have a brother and a cousin that are autistic. There are so many struggles and I won’t say that I know what it feels like but I can understand parts of it. Overall I am very impressed with the structure and rhyming of the poem, it is very artistic! In my opinion, autistic people are generally very good people and are so brilliant with their logic skills! It is a very good poem and very emotional! I would like to hear more poetry like this!




User avatar
823 Reviews


Points: 30728
Reviews: 823

Donate
Tue Nov 24, 2020 5:38 pm
View Likes
ShadowVyper wrote a review...



Hey FireEyes,

WOW this is a powerful poem! It's so raw and it's so apparent how close to home this hits for you. I love the emotions throughout and the frustration and the overall flow. This rhyme scheme almost seemed like Slam Poetry and that's hard to write well, but I think you did a great job of it!

If you're not familiar with what slam poetry is, here is a great intro to it. Basically, it's poetry that is meant to be performed out loud rather than simply being read. And I think you've got a really nice cadence that would lend itself to that well.

I don’t understand why that’s normal

Is it a regular thing or is it something formal?


Here's one place that the flow felt a bit off. I know you're trying to rhyme the "formal" with the "normal" in your previous line, but that line felt a bit clumsy and too-wordy for the flow. You can play around with it during your revisions. Maybe even something like

"Why do you need me to be so formal?"

idk, something to play with.

But not understanding what social cues are makes me a brat?


O o f this is a powerful line <3

(although you've got a minor typo here. I think you mean either "are making" or meant to remove the "are" from the sentence)

Honestly, circling back to the poem as a whole, I am still just so impressed with this work. I suspect I'm on the ASD spectrum (don't have any diagnoses to verify, but a lot of the symptoms fit) and this spoke to me on such a deep level with not understanding social cues and dealing with rudeness just because people refuse to understand that I can't understand them. This is such a personal topic and you handled it with so much grace, kudos to you!

The only overall critique I have is that I think you could really benefit from leveraging punctuation to your advantage. In poetry, punctuation is obviously a stylistic choice, and if you feel like this flows better with only the question marks then absolutely keep it that way. But there are some lines where I think you could make them a bit more powerful by adding punctuation. For example:

Repetition, repetition, repetition


This was a great line! I like the repetition of the word repetition, that really drives it home. But what if you had something like:

Repetition. Repetition. Repitition.

To really drive home the point, you know? It's not a single sentence with multiple words. Make it loud and clear that this is an identical, day in and day out, need for identical-ity. You could also add in italics or bolded or underlined words, too. For example your "emotions" you could have be emotions or something to really emphasize particular words.

Overall, though, excellent poem! I HIGHLY enjoyed reading this and look forward to more from you <3

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)




FireEyes says...


Thank you. I will take those suggestions to mind.




If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman