Young Writers Society

Wow, the title got me hooked and I am glad it did. I heard somewhere that each of us should know our worth. Sometimes we give everything to relationships that will never give back. It's never easy, I went through it myself, you invest so much of yourself, do your best and for the smallest stumble you're treated like the enemy number one. This poem provokes so many emotions with very relatable content. You know you're being treated like garbage, but some sense of loyalty or love keeps you with that person, life with them is miserable, but without them it's not any happier. I really like the rythm of the whole thing too. You repeat "But I still cared" so often but it never gets boring, to me it completes each stanza and ties the whole poem together, giving it a theme. A few random thoughts, even though you get treated so bad, there is a reason that person keeps coming back to you, maybe they love you in their own sick twisted way, doesn't justify much, but it's something. At first glance the poem might seem a bit too long, but it's got a very good flow, and it's very pleasant to read. You give us a look into something very personal, which I felt through out the entire work. Overall, this was a very relatable and brave poem, keep up the great work.

Hi, FireEyes,

I stumbled on your poem and thought I'd read it.

First, your writing is fantastic. It showed so much emotion and hurt. It was a poem about being sort of tossed aside by someone you called a close friend.

I liked how in the beginning, you ended each stanza with "but I still cared". Then on the third to last stanza, you wrote "I still care just not as much as before". Then for the last two, you wrote "I don't care". Those lines told a story about how you once felt for this person and how you feel for them now.

This was a great poem and I'm excited to see more of your writing! If you write anymore, please tag me I'd love to read them.

Signed,

Pineapple

Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!

I was looking through your portfolio when I saw this. The title intrigued me so I checked it out. And I'm glad I did. I liked how every couple of lines you would say something along the lines of, "But I still cared." It gave made it seem like a poem instead of a story. The overall poem felt a bit raw but I think that ended up benefitting it in the end. It made it seem homemade and meaningful. The only thing I would maybe change would be making it into stanzas. That way it is every stanza that ends in, "But I sill cared." I think it would add more of a blow but feel free to totally ignore it!

Anyways great poem! I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like this and the best advice I can give is to move on with hope. You can't control what they do or think but you can hope. Also, could you tag me for any future poems of yours?

- MapleWay

This poetry is really nice This feels like something I would have written in my diary about my feelings. The words about comparing, oh I can tell you I have heard it MANY times. People open up about their feelings but what "friends" do is compare that they had it worse or they tell you that it is not big of an issue for you. I don't usually give critiques but here is mine- I think you could make it more of rhyming, which is what I usually see in personal poetries. I just have an idea, after every stanza, you could put a line which stays the same throughout the poem. Like "but I still cared" after every stanza would look rhyming, but it is just a suggestion
Keep up the good work!

This is good I can feel what your putting down without it coming off like a rant or a ramble and for something quick and emotional like this that is really good! Like I said I can feel what you're saying but I'd recommend throwing in some metaphors in there to add to the punch. Nothing fancy and you don't have to explain it much. Something like coming out of the closet or a fish out of water are good, clean, and easy to understand, so maybe something along those lines. But nonetheless you did really good with this pal!.

This was out of my comfort zone for me so any criticism is welcome!