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The Road to Happiness

by FireEyes


I cry in my room

Alone; sobbing

My heart hurts

Pounding; throbbing

I’m there for others

They hurt; I support

I can help myself one day

Hoping; fall short

No one can always be happy

Media; stings

Sometimes I just can’t deal

Eyes blinded; ear rings

Sometimes I relapse

Guilt; shame

I could have stopped it

No one to blame

I’m getting stronger

Step by step

Sometimes I do wrong

No need to fret

I made progress

Get up; go on

I’ll still stumble

But I'll follow the sun

I can cry

Tears become power

I can be happy

Beautiful; flower


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14 Reviews


Points: 240
Reviews: 14

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Wed Dec 23, 2020 9:50 pm
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Ailah2005 wrote a review...



Aweeeeeeeee, thank you for sharing your poem. it was beautiful.

first of all, you are an amazing writer. i think your ability to put your feeling into words is very powerful and strong. you have such a great talent and i can wait to read more of your work in the future. that was lovely!!!

so, anyways... now to actually write a review haha!

My favourite part was this:

"But I'll follow the sun

I can cry

Tears become power

I can be happy"

i love the development from the start of the poem. these lines really show how you have been able to change and overcome the challenges that you faced, with determination.

it also flows very well because of the layout and the words you use.

good job!!!!! thank you so much for sharing! i hope you have a wonderful day and i really want to read more of your poems!!!!!

Ailah




FireEyes says...


aww thank you so much. I appreciate whenever someone critiques my work.



Ailah2005 says...


my pleasure :)



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28 Reviews


Points: 1621
Reviews: 28

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Wed Dec 23, 2020 10:25 am
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anne27 wrote a review...



Woah! An amazingly lucid and remarkable work!!

Hey there! Anne for a review!
First of all, I really loved the format of your poem and the Imagery it created in my mind. Now I'll get to the details.

I cry in my room

Alone; sobbing

My heart hurts

Pounding; throbbing

Wow, this really hit hard. This was a most unexpected beginning based on the title of this poem. Personally, I thought it would be something like getting up from the dark but the beauty with which you expressed it was awe-inspiring.

I’m there for others

Hurting; support

I can help myself one day

Hoping; fall short

In these lines, I think the word hitting should be replaced because it doesn't fit well here...or one of it should based on the meaning if your poem. Hurting and support together make the meaning vague. And also in the last words of all your stanzas, no offense meant, there is not enough uniformity. For instance, its written guilty, shame - u don't get the idea behind it( could be due to my shortsightedness) but you see, one is adjective the other abstract noun. According to me, it would have been more in flow, if it were guilt;shame or guilty;shameful...like that!

Going back, here I get the hint that you wish to say that you're hurt but still support, but this isn't that clear.

Just an opinion. Its entirely up to you.

No one can be always be happy

Media; stings

Sometimes I just can’t deal

Eyes blinded; ear rings


Another fantastic stanza. Everything fits perfectly here. Especially that media stings takes a jab in the hearts of the readers. Very relatable. Though there's one minor mistake, don't know if you meant it but in the first line, you've written be twice. :)

Sometimes I relapse

Guilty; shame

I could have stopped it

No one to blame

I like its vibe, its the most relatable stanza for me. The fact that you know its in your hands but you're still not able to control it. It hits hard and add on to it that you can't blame anyone but yourself prepares for a really agonising experience.

I’m getting stronger

Step by step

Sometimes I do wrong

No need to fret

Thisfollows the same note as the last one. However on a lighter note. And kudos to you, the flow from negative to positive couldn't have been smoother.

I made progress

Get up; go on

I’ll still stumble

But I'll follow the sun

I can cry

Tears become power

I can be happy

Beautiful; flower

A phantasmagorical ending. Beautiful to the core. The change from not liking tears to welcoming the idea if tears is pretty amazing and so is the repetition of cry in the beginning and end.

It wasa wonderfully emotional piece of art.
Hoping to read more from you. :D
Keep writing because you're good at it!!




FireEyes says...


Thanks so much for the review! I appreciate the criticism. And you use big boi words and I like it. <3




I sleep with reckless abandon!
— Link Neal