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The Black Night

by FatCowsSis

Lights twinkle in the sky above, glistening against the darkness of the night. Some people call those bright lights in the sky stars. But I’ve always known them to be my curse. The blackness of the night curls around me, enveloping me in a soothing cold. A sigh escapes my mouth and icy, frigid air ghosts forth in a chilling cloud. It’s beautiful. The cloud disperses all too quickly, and the light shines through. What a wretched thing is light. Filling small faces with joy and delight as children dance and play in the sun. No, the darkness is much better. A chilling whisper to echo through the black, sending shivers down the spines of those children who delight in the sun during the day. But at night, they scream out for their daddies and mommies to make the monsters go away, how they’re afraid of the dark, but the darkness is not what they truly fear. It’s what lurks in the darkness that makes children quake in their beds, and make parents worry until their children are home and safe for the night. But once you’ve learned what the darkness holds, there is nothing to fear. I have found a friend in the darkness. Do not fear the cold, black night. Embrace it, quickly now, before it embraces you.

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37 Reviews

Points: 1605
Reviews: 37

Sun Aug 26, 2018 5:48 pm
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AriannaC wrote a review...

I feel like there was some symbolism here. Are you trying to say not to be afraid of a seemingly sad and lonely place and if you do it will consume you?? That's the message I'm receiving reading this.

This is not a script. This is more something to be put under the other section. A script would be something that shows lines for a play or something. This is the definition of script:

the written text of a play, movie, or broadcast.

I feel like this could be broken into sections by paragraph as well.


FatCowsSis says...

Thank you for reading! I know it isn't a script but I wasn't sure how quite to classify. I'm glad you enjoyed :D

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10 Reviews

Points: 76
Reviews: 10

Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:39 am
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SergeantRosie wrote a review...

This was really interesting and I quite enjoyed this little "script" or whatever you call it! That is the category you put it in anyway :)

Anyway, time for actual review stuff, right? Now, disclaimer, I'm not going to pretend I know much about grammar, so if you need feedback about that, don't ask me.

I thought the descriptions were effective and created a distinct picture to visualize while also giving off some great atmosphere and overall feel. Good job on this. I especially like the line, "A sigh escapes my mouth and icy, frigid air ghosts forth in a chilling cloud." There's something so alluring and mysterious about this even though you're literally just describing someone's breath. You managed to make it interesting, nice one! I think the use of the word "ghosts" is what really got me there. Creepy!

The only form of criticism of this I could possibly have is that the idea of people being scared of what's lurking in the dark and there's really nothing bad about darkness... is a bit overused in my silly opinion. However, you still managed to put an interesting spin on that "trope".

I thoroughly enjoyed this, keep up the good work! :)

FatCowsSis says...

Thank you so much! I hadn't written in AGES so it was nice to do so :D

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
— Robert Frost