Among the shadows the leaves sleep

the wording here is pretty great, i can't give any helpful advice there.

something i do kinda-sorta have the knowledge to talk about is just the timing of the poem.

let's see the amount of syllables you have in each line:

8
10
10
8

8
8
10
7

9
8
9
8

10
9
8
10

in stanzas 1 and 3 you have a pattern going - 8/10/10/8, 9/8/9/8. in the other two, there is no pattern. what you could do to improve your poem is, for a start, make stanzas 2 and 4 have a syllable pattern, and if you can, link all stanzas so their pattern is the same.

Hello! I'm in a poetry kind of mood so thought I'd take a look

Specifics

1. I think your second line is too long and it's hurting the flow! Line 1 is 8 syllables, lines 2 and 3 are 10 syllables and line 4 is 8 which would be perfect except your rhyme scheme is AABB and not ABBA so the middle two lines feel stretched.You're also wasting a word on 'the' in line one which could be an adjective. Maybe try something like:

Among the shadows low leaves sleep
and when darkness crowds the gardens weep;
the hanging gloom will not retreat
'til wilted plants rest at its feet.

Line two is still technically a syllable too long but it flows smooth enough that you'd get away with it.

2. The last line of the second stanza needs an extra syllable. Maybe 'The leaves may now take larger shape' or 'The leaves may now take stronger shape'?

3. The very last line is too long which is a shame because it's a pretty line and you can maybe get away with breaking the flow there since it's the end of the poem but I'd usually recommend avoiding it where possible. I think you could try 'And nearly suffer end defeat' or 'And nearly suffer last defeat' or even 'And nearly suffer whole defeat'. Or 'And nearly suffer true defeat'?

Overall

This is a nice poem! I think you could change out a few words for more interesting adjectives and tidy the flow up a bit but on the whole it has a good rhythm and I like the theme. I think some ordinary words could be switched out for something more original or new like 'gloom' or 'shadows' or 'darkness'. I'd actually like to see you get more plant imagery in there like creepers or weeds instead of shadows and maybe instead of overbearing gloom it could be a looming 'lion (as in dandelion) or some other plant/ tree which is stealing the sunlight.

Anyway, I'll leave you with those thoughts and thanks for the read. All the best with this!

~Heather

I quite enjoy the imagery at play, here. It's stark and vivid, and perfectly portrays the contrast between night and day. The fragility of it is simply stunning. I never really considered time from the perspective of a leaf, but it's an interesting thought experiment.

In terms of critique for either format or content, I can't say I have much to add. This piece flows just fine, with no true stutters or misplaced phrases, although how much difference that makes is a matter of opinion. It reminds me very much of "The Trees" by Rush, although it lacks the political intrigue of that particular song.

Tis Soulfulwriter for review and personal opinion. Let's see.

Review first: It was kind of scary at first and I didn't really know what you were talking of, but the more I read the poem the more I understood it....A little bit. I do like the creativeness behind it even if you threw it together or if it was hidden in your attic for years. I do love it.

Personal opinion: Still kind of scary. But, I was delighted by it. It sounds as though it belongs at the beginning of a novel of fantasy, craft, and horror with a pinch of romance.