12+

Good-bye

     I am so sad, so lost that I can’t find myself. Everyone thought I was okay, that I was not affected by the tormenting, beatings, and the name calling. I think I am so far down a never ending hole that not even the longest rope can reach I my depth. I am being torn into thousands of pieces, fragments so small that they will never be put back together.

     You know, I have been thinking about ending it all for a long time now. I can't take anymore of this abuse - even if I did die the sun will still rise and set, the moon will still wax and wane in the sky, and life won't just stop because I ended mine.

     They say when you're depressed and suicidal your world looks dark and gloomy. That's a lie. The world looks the same, it's your perception on the world that changes.It seems that everyone hates me; they are just waiting to laugh at me at the pitiful person I have became. That I am a mistake, that I never should have been born, that I am useless.

     Or at least that's what you tell me daddy, while you throw me around, beat me and choke me. Mom you stand there watching, as dad tries to kill me. The only thing you do is tell me that it's my fault that I am a stupid little slut. Funny mom if you really cared you would know I’ve never even had a boyfriend yet.

     You hate me, both of you but that's okay because daddy I really hate you, too. I don't love you in the slightest. You don't deserve to have a great daughter like Rosie. She’s so bright and beautiful a truly amazing sister.

     Mommy yeah - don't think I would forget about you. You gave me everything I needed: food, a place to live, clothing, and education. That's it. No love, the thing that I needed the most. You isolated me, never speaking a word to me. Well that’s not true- you like to tell me how I am not going to make it in life, how I am a failure. Guess you’re right: I won’t make it. I am leaving the world behind, I hope heaven will accept an evil and corrupt person like me. I bet you would love to see me breathe my last breath, to watch me bleed out on the floor...

     Then there was school. School wasn’t an escape from the hell at home, it was the exact same thing. More hateful words and people looking down on me. Everywhere I turned there’d be a kid who would want to push me and say hurtful things or a teacher who would just walk on by pretending to not see what’s happening. I used to stand up for myself... but you can only pick yourself up so many times. There comes a point when your legs can no longer support you and you just stay down.

     Rosie, I love you. As much as I can love anything with my cold black heart. You were the only person that cared for me. You should not have had to baby sis but thank you. Without you I would have probably done this long ago. You tried to help me, to save me, but not even you could save me now. I am sorry for the grief that I will cause you. You are the only one who can weep for me, the only one who cared. Have a happy life, a family, hell let’s throw in a dog. Live for the both of us - don’t let anyone steal your flame from you. Goodbye.

     I will take daddy's sleeping pills and slowly drift to sleep. Then I will be free from the pain, from school, and mom and dad.

                  Goodbye to this cruel hateful world, I will never see you again.

                                       Sincerely,

                                             Lilly

                                     R.I.P Lilly age 15 

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User avatar
Whatgoescomes
Review

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User avatar
KayKayKoala
Review

This is truly amazing.
I don't know if you wrote this yourself to put up here, or if this is truly from someone you know in real life.
There is SO much emotion behind it though.
It's also an example of why bullying needs to STOP.
Be extinguished. Goodbye.
People need to stand up for the victims.
They try, but they eventually just feel so defeated.
Sorry, back to the poem.
It is so sad.
The home life story.
Dad beating her, mom just watching.
No love for the poor girl.
Bullies at school.
Teachers ignoring.
I honestly don't have much to say about this.
It is REALLY good. And the emotional depth of it is amazing.
Keep up the amazing work!
Also, I'm here if you ever need to talk, or if you just need someone to listen.

Thank you! this is all me, I wrote this. If i ever need to talk ill come to you thank you very much!

You're welcome!
Keep up the writing c:

User avatar
PhoenixXander
Review

Holy heck, first off this is really sad, and that works well. This tone with your style fits together sweetly. Not too many people know how to correctly use this format, and I think you did very well. Your grammar seems to be up to point too, props on that.

This form of poetry is all to familiar to me. I read this and all I could think of was two poems I wrote just like this. Gosh I still have goose bumps, this all to well reminds me of a middle school - freshman me. I've been through all this, and it just..it's a punch in the gut to read someone else who wrote a poem almost identical to mine, just different names, and a some different specific situations. Hey, if you ever need someone, I'm always free to chat.

Keep up the unique writing!

- Phoenix

P.S. Stay Gold!

Thank you so very much I appreciate it!!! If I ever need to talk i just might take you up on that. =D

Okay, you sure can! I'll reply as soon as I can, always! (:

Thanks you're amazing

User avatar
FerrumCorde
Comment

I feel like someone just punched my heart

User avatar
Soulfulwriter
Review

Sounds like bullying gone wrong in the beginning, like she has lost herself and she or the person doesn’t know what to do. Being tormented by the ones that are supposed to love you, is the worse thing that could ever happen to anyone, because your family especially are supposed to be the ones that love you and care for you. But its as though the parents are the bullies on the play ground. And when kids don’t receive that love and affection from mom or dad, things go wrong. They go searching for it somewhere else and end up doing something they have no business or worse than that. This seems like something my cousin needs to see because it sounds much like her. Except with the dying part. I really did like this poem, it’s just a little upsetting and I almost dropped a tear. But yeah, *stands up and applauds* no joke.

Thank you very much tell your cousin it gets better once she get into the groves of things people suck but as life goes on and she learns to over look the bullies she will find good people.

It's more of the affection she needs from her mother, other than bullies.



The best speculative fiction peels your mind and shows you the familiar from a direction you have not looked in before
— Neil Gaiman