It is the rhythm of our thoughts,
The melody of consciousness.
It is the electricity of nerves,
It is our soul.
Do you know it?
It is both noise and music,
The harmony inherent in chaos.
It is right,
It is wrong.
Can you hear it?
It is creation,
And it is destruction.
We need it,
And yet we fear it.
Will you accept it?
It is what makes us human,
And it is what makes us animals.
It is our nature.
It is inside us.
Can you feel it?
It is in our hearts,
In our pulses,
In our minds and our spirits.
Our very blood flows with it.
Are you listening?
It is our suffering,
It is our salvation.
It enslaves us,
And it liberates us.
When will we learn?
We live for it,
It lives for us.
If we listened,
It would speak.
Will you let it in?
It is us,
It is them.
It is everything we hope for,
And nothing we wish for.
What will we become?
It is our song,
And it is our scream.
It breathes with us.
It makes us feel.
What is it?
It is who we are.
It is all we know.
It is in me,
It is in you.
It is the voice in all of our heads
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140,575 Literary Works • 673,520 Reviews
Wow, glad you all think so highly of me and my poetry. Thanks for the praise and critiques and whatnot.
Although I liked what this poem's about, I liked even more HOW it's about- if you get me. Basically wherever there was a hint of trivialism in the theme or clíché in the lines, the concise structure and metaphors countered it.
The layout makes it easy to read and seems to suit the poem- I liked the last line of each stanza being a different question. Funnily enough, when I came to the line "Are you listening?" I jumped a little- I was indeed trailing off at that point, and felt as though I was being watched!
Great idea with having each stanza focused on a different subject (loved the music analogies)- thought maybe you could have done that even more so, as in segregating the subjects into their own stanzas entirely to enhance the chunky delivery. On that note, I feel the only slip if any was the punctuation- lash in a full stop on the last line as well as/instead of the second last.
Great job
P.S I just discovered your age, and although it shouldn't be much of an issue I'm impressed that a 13 year old produced this
I think it is a good poem. Some of the stanzas were very imaginative while others had one or two words breaking it. I love the idea. Very creative. Also, it also enables us to think what you have written down and that for me is a nice thing.
This is just an example out of your poem I took There isn't really much I can say though. Very good.I love the idea. I just feel that it can be explained much better. Yes, I said that I like the idea that you have to think, but the reader must come to its own conclusion which will kind of have a connection with the other readers. Here it can be all sorts of things, while with the other stanzas, all the thoughts were narrowed down to different conclusions, but has 50% something to do with the other conclusion which other readers might have. With other words(just a crap example) the one guy says it is a sheep while the other guy says it is a chicken. It is two different animals, but they have one thing in common. You'll find them both on a farm. See what I mean?
All in all: I like it. It is very imaginative and very creative. Keep up the good work.
Hi there!
WOW O.O You really caught me on this one! After the second stanza, I just couldn't stop!
Very captivating. I liked it! I really did liked it
I agree with carelessaussie13 on the points she referred.
Keep on writing!
Hi. Oh my gosh. I really liked this. I mean, I really, really liked this. About halfway through this I realized I was totally focused inward, and your poem did that! Really cool. I do have some suggestions, though.
Each verse is kind of the same, which is fine for a while, but then it gets kind of repetitive. You repeat a lot. I understand why you would want this to be a long-ish poem, but if you don't have any content, it's not really worth it. Also, your last line was very anticlimactic. Maybe try, "It is the voice/ the song in our souls". The voice in our heads is very cliche, and you've described it as something more than a voice and more like a song. I'll say again, though, total kudos for an amazing poem. Props.