Carbonation and Katies

i love this i was just going to skim it at first and i read all of it.

Love the story

I wished I knew where she went, and who it was she had left in her place.

Hi Evi, Lilicia here! I owe you a review (thank you so much for reviewing my murderer thing, it really helped!) - so here it is...

Firstly, this is amazing, so well written, and simply beautiful. The last line really got to me, it was such a beautiful ending that I felt all warm inside I could only find a few nitpicks:

I let my eyes close, yellow light still bleeding in through the open window. It painted the insides of my eyelids a distracting gold.

“Where are they, Katie? You’re parents?”

“Once upon a time,” I whispered into the receiver, “there was a beautiful princess named Katie.”

Hey Evi ^^ Shina here to do a review
xD It's long overdue, but you know, I promised Like usual, reviewing people like you is kind of challenging. Which is why I sit on it for a bit and then review it.

I. Nitpicks

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Katie.”
I groaned at the sound of the little girl’s voice, high and clear over the rush of takeoff.

She had already scrambled over *me to get to the window seat, stabbing *me with Fairytale Barbie’s pin-straight plastic legs in the process, and pulled the window’s shade up so that the mid-afternoon sun penetrated even my closed eyelids.

So much for sleeping during the flight. She had also produced two small pillows from a purple backpack and sat on top of them, elevating herself so that she had a better view out the window.

I opened one eye experimentally, only to be greeted by the girl’s curious expression inches away from my face.

“ “Oh,” I said, something [s]uncomfortable[/s] nagging at the back of my mind.

Katie cocked her head [s]to the side[/s] and suddenly sprang up from her seat, readjusting so that her tiny, freckled legs folded neatly underneath her[s], on top of the pillows.[/s]

I [s]was[/s] almost worried they’d snap like toothpicks under her weight, but she just cast me a brilliant smile and laughed, again—the noise was startlingly loud and uninhibited. “Aren’t you going to tell me your name, mister?”

“My—oh. My name’s Randy.”
She nodded knowingly, like this was as she had expected. “I know a Randy,” she admitted, “but he’s short and mean and he pulls my Barbies’ heads off— ‘cause he’s the dragon in the fairytale, you see—so I don’t like him very much. Do you know any Katies?”

I let my eyes close, yellow light still bleeding [s]in[/s] through the open window.

“I know,” said Katie patiently, shaking her head. I felt her prod me. “I ordered it for you.”

My eyes eased themselves open, reluctant to waste even a moment of potential sleeping time; I had gotten so little rest the past few days.

Everything was darker in the cabin now; it seemed like most people had pulled their windows' shades down because of the bright sunlight. I squinted.

I turned to the flight attendant, who was looking apologetic with the soda in her hand, and hastily wiped my motuh with the back of my hand.

She set the plastic cup down in the little indention in the tray table and quickly tossed some napkins onto Katie’s and my tray before proceeding down the aisle.

“Don’t you like Dr. Pepper, Mr. Randy?” Katie asked worriedly, Barbie frozen in the splits.

She seemed to sense that something was wrong, because she kept staring at me, her pink lips deepening into a frown.

There was a half-eaten chocolate-chip cookie on the counter, next to a milk glass that was far too close to the edge; one wrong move and it would topple, crash, spill. She wouldn't notice, though. She'd keep on yelling, and pointing—long, gentle fingers, fingers that used to lace through my hair and trace the shape of my lips—pointing out the open door. I could see the stars outside, against a backdrop of black sky. They mocked me. They were an audience to my misery. “Get out now, Randall. I watch her lips move, but I don't want to hear the words. I'm not dealing with this right now. I don’t want to see you.”
I don’t want to see you.

I drank until it was gone, and then I crumpled the plastic cup and stuffed it into the back pocket of the seat in front of me, exhaling jaggedly.

In fact, the trash can was where I had tossed one of our wedding pictures the last time we fought. It had cracked in the corner, but when we fished it out the next day, the glass hadn’t completely shattered.
Katie had insisted that we put it back on display on our nightstand. A badge of courage, she had called it. We survived another battle. She told me to look at the crack every morning when I woke up, and it would give me the strength to go on another day.

A voice sounded over the loudspeaker, reminding us to report any suspicious looking characters or unclaimed suitcases. I probably qualified as a suspicious character right now, standing statuesque at the revolving luggage dispenser, frozen and empty-handed, staring off into the distance. But no one had reported my unusual behavior. Maybe they saw that I wasn’t hostile, I was just lost. Or maybe no one paid enough attention to the rest of the world anymore. Maybe nobody had noticed.

Bare with me here, this is my first post xD.

Evi wrote: One peanut after another. They were too salty.

Evileen! I have a bad habit now, that whenever I see you have posted something, I have to review it. Even if I owe three other people reviews, I have to immediately review you. Which is bad of me, but... >.>

“No. My name’s Alexandra Isabelle Felicity Sapphire.” She blinked once while saying this, long dark lashes over cerulean eyes.

But I clenched my fist and pressed the little button that leans the airplane seat backwards, letting it go as far as it would, and replied, “No, I don’t.”

With a jolt I sat up straight, mortified to find that I had somehow leaned so far over to my right during sleep that I was propped up by Katie’s tiny head and bony shoulder.

“Don’t you like Dr. Pepper, Mr. Randy?” Katie asked worriedly, Barbie frozen in the air and doing the splits.

I felt as if they should have been some great metaphor for my life—or maybe that was just me being theatrical?—but the longer I stared at them, the less they seemed like enlightening signs from above, and the more they seemed like carbonation in a plastic cup of soda.

I did miss that woman, the one who downed three cans of Dr. Pepper a day.

She was in her pajamas—so beautiful, as always—but there were tears down her cheeks

When the plane landed and everyone but Katie and I had exited the cabin, I asked the flight attendant if she could give me a can of Dr. Pepper instead of the little plastic cup. And I slipped it into my backpack.

But I just smiled and nodded, a bit sadly, saying, “I hope so too, Katie,”

“Once upon a time,” I whispered into the receiver, “there was a beautiful princess named Katie.”

Hiya, Evi! I saw this on the front page, and I started reading it . . . then it intrigued me so much that I had to read the whole thing.

I'm going to start off by saying that this was absolutely amazing. And, in an attempt to give you a good and proper review, most of my comments are probably going to be about specifically what I found amazing. I did find one or two minor nitpicks, though.

“Don’t you like Dr. Pepper, Mr. Randy?” Katie asked worriedly, Barbie frozen mid-splits in the air.

God, I thought, any man bitter enough not to fly with his daughter across the country because he doesn’t want to see his ex-wife would never come for a tie. But I didn’t say that.

“Mr. Randy, that’s my Mommy,” she announces.

That was beautiful. So well written. Like Shina, I saw it on the homepage and just had to read the rest. Kiddie Katie is a great character. ^^

Wonderful read.

One oh so insignificant thing: Maybe you could have said why Randy was on the plane? Had he gone on a holiday/break for a bit?

My favourite part:

“Once upon a time,” I whispered into the receiver, “there was a beautiful princess named Katie.”

Wow, I really loved this story. What's even better is that I flew today, and the way you described it so accurately was honestly amazing! My favorite accurate thing would have to be the suspicious persons or unattended bags part, because you honestly hear that about every five minutes. Also, one of my nicknames is Katie, so it kind of took on a special meaning. Loved it

Evi ^^ Shina here to [s]review[/s] comment on you O_O

I just saw this on the homepage, I think *doesn't remember*, started scanning through it and ended up reading the whole thing.

I can't do a review for you right now =_= I-I'm not in the review mode at the moment.

However, I must say that I like the idea you have here and it was well-written ^^ Very well written. xD Your knowledge of barbie doll movements is awesome.

However, I'm not sure if a Barbie can "erupt into elaborate leaps and twirls." Through my skim-reading, that was the only thing that bothered me.

I'll be back for a full-length review It looks I have quite a bit of competition in this contest

-Shina