865 words.
She didn’t know what to do to get his attention. Yes, there was several ways… but she wasn’t sure what way was appropriate in that house. Rease hesitantly stepped into his room, trying to as quiet as possible. It wouldn’t do much good if she interrupted Cayden and got him angry. She didn’t like getting on people’s nerves. One person has so much power, so much more power than her. If she got someone angry… who knows what they would do.
Well, Rease knew what her new mom would do. She had been around them for a while now, the Cole household was sometimes predictable. Brema would yell, her voice rising in a way only a mother’s would. Her feet would stomp on the ground once, just enough to display her power and vibrate the floor. Poor Drew, he should have really been more careful around that lamp…
Rease shivered a bit.
The loud song on the neon blue radio was stopping, playing the last few rumbling beats. With that last resounding pound on the drum, Cayden looked up. He was probably going to get up and change the disc, or perhaps the sound surprised him. However, Rease standing in the middle of his room must have startled him more.
The thick book that was in his hands dropped on his stomach, making him give an, “Oomph.” The look on his face was priceless, with Cayden’s light green eyes opening wide, bits of whacky pieces of white hair getting messed up. It was a little cute.
“Who- oh. Rease.” His words stumbled a bit as he lifted the dark yellow book onto a brown pillow. Some of the pages fell out and he quickly grabbed them with a swift hand. “I’m- just… thank you.” Cayden’s cheeks flushed and it seemed like he couldn’t form words on his tongue. Poor Cay.
Rease gave a small smile, and waved. It was awkward to be standing right there… as the boy was crawling around his already messed up bed sheet trying to get up but failing.
“Any-anywho... Why’re you here? I mean, thank you for being here. Um… what? Sorry. It’s just.” His legs swung around the side of the red bedspread as he sat up straight. Cayden had two straps on that connected the purple heating pack to his back.
“SCHOOL,” she clapped her hands together, lightly, twice. Like a school teacher trying to get their students’ attention. “THINGS.” Rease took her left hand and shook it a little ways from her.
“Oh, right. Yeah. I got a schedule for you. There’s…” he literally jumped off the bed, Cayden’s two feet landing on the floor making a ‘du-dump’ sound. As fast as a falcon he raced to his desk and grabbed a stray piece of paper. The pack fell to the floor, and he stopped. “The classes have someone that can ‘help’ you understand the material.”
He grunted as he leaned over to grab the heater, “Stupid school thinking people are stupid…” Rease just stood there, watching him. He didn’t need much help, and she wasn’t sure how to help. “Um- Rease, since you were homeschooled… and mute, correct?”
He glanced up at her and she nodded. Like expected, her hair flew. Yippee.
“Well, when you’re ‘not normal’ they assign someone to help you. So, like a student in the same class that knows the subject.” He paused, then rolls his back up. “I was assigned to help you.” Cayden’s face was a bright pink. Almost like Brema’s piggy pink blush.
Rease took some time to look at the sheet, and not at the blushing boy. It was covered in colourful colours that told her about when classes were, lunch break, study hall, and free time was. Small notes were added by a chicken- well, the hand writing looked like a chicken’s- about the teachers and things like that. She would read that later.
“So, is that all?” the heating pad was attached to his back once more.
“YES.”
She wasn’t sure what to do…
“So… you like Math?”
She gave a sly smile, “YES.”
***
Those two hours they spent talking (well, in Rease’s case… signing) together felt like a few minutes. She sat on the edge of his bed, a couple of feet away from the boy. Cayden was on his ruffled russet coloured pillow. All of his pants that she could see were his scuffed up knee parts; probably because he was literally sitting on his legs.
“So…” he looked her in the eyes, “we’ve been talking about what I like. What do you like?”
Cayden seemed so sweet, however, he put her on spot like that. Rease wasn’t used to signing about herself. She grinned, trying to cover up the fact that she had no idea what to say, “SILVER.” She swallowed some saliva in anxiety. It wasn’t a good answer. In fact, it was horrible. The only thing Rease was remotely interested in was a colour. What a great way to show her character.
The boy was about to open his mouth, then came a call from downstairs, “Rea! Drew is here to get ya!”
Phew, Rease thought, saved by the bell.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hello, darling!
Well, I can see where the Cayden/Rease shipping comes from, at least, but it's not something I'm about to buy into unless you can't resist making it super-cute from here on out.
I feel like with your shift to the all-caps way of writing the gloss, then it's actually easier on me to read it the way I'd imagine someone signing it, especially with your much smaller descriptive clues after—I still stand by the idea that it would be slightly counterproductive to describe every sign in the novel, but for small things like "school", it's nice. It's also nice that you're being consistent with Rease's left-handedness (as a left-handed person who's had to sign right-handed, it does feel really weird).
This chapter, again, feels empty, but it's cute filler, so I'm less inclined to hate it. It reveals a little more of the characters, and it gives us a chance to actually see Rease in an environment that agrees with her and treats her like an equal. Because the conversation between Rease and Cayden is just normal, just what kids would be talking about, it almost feels... out of place in the whole of your novel.
It's nice to get a winding down, to get a reprieve from tension and hurt and worry, but it also kind of feels like you just needed something to write and there wasn't much else to do but go into Cayden tutoring her some. Keep writing!
Hey, Raven! Wolf here for a review.
Yes. Rayden! It's now a thing. The two seem really adorable with each other, and the interactions between them are really well done. It's always a good thing when you're able to pull your reader into the story at the very beginning and hold their attention without straying through the part. And here that happened.
I wish you would've went a little bit more into what they talked about. Since we only know as much as Rease knows, if you don't show us anything about Cayden through her, how are we going to learn? I'm interesting in Cayden, and he seems petty casual about Rease just waltzing into his room. Well, maybe not casual, since he was shivering like a baby rabbit, but he went with it.
What I'm really curious about is how has this crush on Reade formed in Cayden. They've really only conversed once, and that wasn't in the best situation. Maybe something to be seen later? You did a really good job here in describing how Cayden was acting around her, what with him flailing on his bed, stuttering, trying to find out more about her, etc. We get that he's got a crush, but it's hard to figure out what Rease thinks. She seems more indifferent. Like she admires him as a friend but isn't sure herself?
Anyways, I still loved this chapter. As you continue to write this it just gets better and better! Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~
Timmy here
Do we have a bit of possible romance in this story? hehe This should be fun to read. I honestly had no idea that this was coming, and I think that is a really good thing. Now, I am not predicting that they'll be all googly eyes over each other or anything, but it sure seems like it may eventually be heading that way. And why not? Right? They're both cool people, and cool people belong together. *shoves them together for when they get older* Awww, they look so cute together! hehehe
I think you did an especially good job with that part, making it unclear as to if Rease likes him or not. She sure shows that she likes him as a person and everything, but I am not sure if there is anything else behind her kindness to him. Cayden? Yeah, he sure acts as though he has a crush on her. hehe I think he picked a good one. Now to see what happens in the following chapters with this.... I shall be watching with anticipation to see how it all works out.
Anywho *coughscoughs* Yeah, maybe I should get to the review....
He seems a bit overly awkward here. Why doesn't he just stutter out a hello instead of thanking her when she hasn't asked how he was yet? Seems a bit pre-mature for this scene, even if he is just being awkward.
Comma after falcon. And, boy, is he fast. O.O I wonder if she could even see him.
technical: then rolled his back up. I honestly didn't understand what you meant by that action, though. :/ Roll his back up? It made no sense, to be completely honest.
Colors are already colorful, silly.
I still think you should italicize your thoughts so they are separated from the rest of the piece, and can be identified easily. >.< And why aren't you putting her sign language in italics anymore? To be completely honest with you, sometimes I go a bit blank when you go into your whole describing of the ASL. I think you did a good thing when you began doing it, just to show us what it was like. But you're going to have a lot of your book filled with these signs... and since they're just actions and not very exciting actions at that, you may want to simply allow them to fade away and just have her talk. I have also noticed that since you began explaining the sign-language, she has stopped talking as much. Like, she just boom! - slowed down, just like that. And I think she would be talking more than she is now? Like in this chapter, she barely talks at all, while in previous one's she is blabbing away like crazy.
Just something I noticed. ^.^
So I think this was a fun and cute chapter to read. It introduced Cayden's character a lot better than the previous parts had, with just the nanny abuse parts. Instead of focusing on the action, this chapter focused on the characters... which allowed me to see more into them. Which is always lovely to have in your pieces. I like being able to relate to characters, and see inside them, and know who they are. With your characters, and Rease especially, I can really do that. Just another of your many talents with writing....
I don't think there is anything more I can add! Onto the next chapter now. I may finally catch up this time. Maybe. *crosses fingers*
~Darth Timmyjake
Hi there!
It should be 'there were'.
Ohhhhh, I see some Rease/Cayden action going on here
Despite me personally liking the "action" aspect of novels, I'm also quite into characters. I love it when I can totally dive into their life and understand what's going on around them. That's how I feel with Rease. You've done a great job developing her and I really feel like I know her.
So, I'm not sure if I mentioned this in my last review or not, but how is Rease reacting to the dream that she had of her father? I mean, it was pretty big. Sure she saw her father dead all the way back in the first chapter, but figuring out who did it and actually watching it happen, well, that's something completely different. Shouldn't it have made er just the tad bit upset? And with her history of reactions (like the suffering she went through after seeing her father dead and after the crazy things that went on with the nanny) she should be a bit more upset about it all. I want to see how she feels. Does she lock herself in the bathroom again, only wanting to throw up? Does she curl up in the fetal position on her bed, the scene of her father's death running through her brain over and over involuntarily? At this moment it just seems that she's able to go on with her life like that dream never happened. I guess what I'm saying here is, show us some more emotion. I want to feel what Rease is feeling.
Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter. It does a good job of moving the plot along. So now Rease is going to go to school. Public school, that is. And she'll have Cayden there to help her. I think that'll be best for her. Going into public school alone is pretty nerve wracking, I'm sure. But she'll have a friend with her so it'll go smoother. I'm looking forward to seeing how she does in school.
Onto the next chapter!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
Rease is actually thinking about her father and the dream a lot! It's all in chapter 30! (I still have not written chapter 30, however...)
Did you know that Saved By The Bell is a song by the Bee Gees?
Haha I just had to mention that. Anyway, I like your chapter. Although I haven't read any of the other chapters, I was able to pull together a main storyline and read it without trouble. I'm liking Rease, she seems like a cool character.
I couldn't find any major nitpicks, so it's all good and if you haven't already, you can move on to the next chapter. It's very well written.