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16+ Mature Content

Homecoming - Act II

by Elinor


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

INT.
KITCHEN - DAY
Rosalie
and Alison sit at the kitchen table, to breakfast. From the window,
colored LEAVES are visible on the sidewalk. Rosalie stares blankly at
the wall in front of her.
On
the table is a blank page of a NOTEBOOK. She picks up her PENCIL and
presses it to the paper, only to set it back down again.
She
sighs. She takes a bite of her breakfast, an unappetizing bowl of
MUSH. She forces herself to swallow, and screams. 
ALISON
Rosalie!
ROSALIE
I
don't want to write about the new gym. I hate gym class.
ALISON
Then
why are you writing about it?
ROSALIE
It's
for the paper.
Alison
shrugs. 
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Mom?
I was wondering if I could go the movies after school?
ALISON
What
do you want to see?
ROSALIE
All
About Eve.
ALISON
Why
do you want to see that?
ROSALIE
I
don't know. It sounds like it might be good.
ALISON
Do
you have money?
ROSALIE
No.
ALISON
Then
I don't think so. We have to watch our spending. 
Rosalie
sighs.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
Don't
even start.
ROSALIE
Have
you been looking for a job?
ALISON
Of
course I have. Don't take that attitude with me. Do you think I want
to be unemployed and not be able to pay our bills?
ROSALIE
You're
the one that quit.
Alison
fumes.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
I'm
sick of having mush. I have to go to school.
She
slings her backpack over her shoulder, and leaves.
INT.
CLASSROOM - DAY
Rosalie
sits a desk near the WINDOW, where she eyes the falling LEAVES.
Mark
(O.S.)
Rosalie?
She
turns away from the window. Elsewhere in the classroom, other WRITERS
crowd around a few desks. Mark writes on a BLACKBOARD.
The
other writers all laugh. Mark gives them a look. 
MARK
(CONT'D)
Do
you have your article for this week?
ROSALIE
Mhm.
She
tears out a page of her notebook and hands to Mark, then sits back
down.
MARK
Alright.
I will edit all of your articles by Friday. Now, a reminder that next
week is layout, so it's mandatory. If anyone sees Clark or Jerry
around, please remind them. See you all tomorrow.
The
writers leave, leaving Mark and Rosalie.
MARK
(CONT'D)
Hey.
ROSALIE
Hi.
MARK
Where
are you headed?
ROSALIE
Home.
MARK
Me
too. Anything going on?
ROSALIE
I
might visit my brother. It's been over a month since I've spoken to
him. Can you believe that? He hasn't visited at all. I gave up
calling. But maybe he doesn't want to see me. Maybe I shouldn't go.
MARK
I
would go. I'm sure he would love to see you.
Rosalie
shrugs.
ROSALIE
Maybe.
Mark
begins to leave.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Mark?
He
turns around.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Have
you thought of assignments for next month yet?
MARK
Not
yet? Is there anything in particular that you'd like to cover?
ROSALIE
Not
really.
She
pauses. Mark raises his eyebrows. 
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Goodnight,
Mark. See you tomorrow.
She
takes her bag and leaves. 
INT.
HALl - DAY
Rosalie
KNOCKS at a door at the end of a mangy, drab outer hallway of an
apartment building.
Sean
answers, his appearance disheveled.
SEAN
Rosalie!
ROSALIE
Hi.
SEAN
How
are you?
ROSALIE
I'm
well. Uh...is now a good time? I thought I'd stop by and say hello. I
feel like it's been so long.
SEAN
Of
course. Laura's at a painting class, she won't be back until late.

RoSALIE
You
have money to pay for a painting class?
SEAN
Apparently
it's free through Columbia College downtown.
ROSALIE
I
see.
SEAN
Come
in.
She
does.
INT.
APARTMENT - DAY
The
living area is cramped and untidy; various PAINTINGS hang on the
walls, rest against the furniture.
Rosalie
takes a seat on the SOFA. Sean goes into the kitchen area, and begins
to pour himself a glass of water.
SEAN
(COnT'D)
Can
I get you anything?
ROSALIE
I'm
fine.
SEAN
What's
been going on?
ROSALIE
Have
you spoken to Mom recently?
SEAN
Uh,
no.
ROSALIE
Well,
she quit her job a month ago. Hasn't been able to find another one.
So it's not been good.
SEAN
Oh.

He
takes his glass of water into the living area and sits next to
Rosalie.
SEAN
(CONT'D)
I
didn't know that.
ROSALIE
Well,
if you called once in a while maybe you'd know. 
SEAN
I'm
sorry, Rosalie. I've been busy. I wish you would have told me you
were coming. Now's not the best time.
Rosalie
stares at him.
SEAN
(CONT'D)
We
haven't sold any paintings.
ROSALIE
Not
one?
Sean
gestures to the paintings that surround them, and shrugs. 
SEAN
Money's
been tonight. We've already had to sell a bunch of things. 
He
notices Rosalie's necklace.
SEAN
(CONT'D)
Is
that-
ROSALIE
Yeah.

Sean's
face tightens.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Are
you free? We should do something. 
SEAN
Not
really. I've been looking for a second job.
ROSALIE
But
I miss you.
SEAN
I
know, Rosalie.
ROSALIE
Have
things been alright? With Laura?
SEAN
Yeah,
they've been great. She's great.
He
stands up.
SEAN
(CONT'D)
Well,
Rosalie, I havea lot to get done. But, um, Laura and I will be down
by the lake tomorrow if you want to come say hi.
ROSALIE
Alright.
She
leaves, defeated.
INT.
LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Dusk.
Rosalie enters to a quiet living room. Alison sits on the sofa,
mindlessly knitting.
ROSALIE
Hi,
mom.
ALISON
Hi,
honey. How was school today?
ROSALIE
Um,
it was fine.
Rosalie
pauses. Alison stares at her blankly.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Um,
aren't you going to ask me where I was?
ALISON
I
figured your meeting might have run late.
ROSALIE
No.
ALISON
Well,
where were you?
ROSALIE
I
went to see Sean.
ALISON
Is
that so?
ROSALIE
Yes.
He seems well.
Rosalie
sits down on the sofa next to her mother.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
What
are you knitting?
ALISON
I'm
making myself a scarf for colder weather since my old one tore.
ROSALIE
Mom?
ALISON
Yes,
Rosalie?
ROSALIE
I'm
sorry about this morning.
ALISON
There's
no need to apologize.
ROSALIE
You're
not mad?
ALISON
No,
Rosalie. 
ROSALIE
It's
just that sometimes I get upset that I'm only assigned boring
articles.
ALISON
You
can't always have the best.
ROSALIE
But
I never do.
ALISON
Then
why do you stay on the paper?
ROSALIE
Because.
They like me. And I think writing is... something I could do one day.
As a career.
ALISON
Then
you'll get a good assignment eventually.
Alison
smiles sadly at her daughter. She gives her a kiss on the forehead.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
Come
on. I'll make us some dinner.
INT.
KITCHEN - NIGHT
Alison
stirs a POT at the stove as Rosalie takes out two PLATES from a
cabinet.
ALISON
It's
ready.
Rosalie
takes the two plates and takes SILVERWARE from the cabinet. She sets
the table, and Alison serves them FOOD. They begin to eat. 
ALISON
(CONT'D)
I
ought to call your brother. Is he doing alright?
ROSALIE
Laura
hasn't sold any of her paintings.
ALISON
Really?
Alison
sighs.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
I
knew this would happen.
ROSALIE
Mom?
ALISON
Yes?
ROSALIE
Tell
me another story. About Dad.
ALISON
What
do you want to know?
ROSALIE
Anything.
ALISON
Well,
he loved you a lot. And he would be so proud of you if he could see
you now.
ROSALIE
I
miss him. 
ALISON
I
know, honey. I do too.
ROSALIE
You
loved him so much. Even before you had me or Sean. I mean, I can
tell.
Alison
smiles.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
I
don't remember him as well as I feel I should.
ALISON
How
do you mean?
ROSALIE
Well,
I remember when he would take us sledding. I remember that Christmas
before he left. There are bits here and there... and of course, I
remember writing him letters. But it's been so long... over half my
life.
Her
eyes start to water.
ALISON
Honey....
Alison
sighs.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
There
was one summer. You were maybe two or three. We were between houses.
Sean had seen an ad for the Wizard of Oz and decided he wanted to go.
And because Sean wanted to go of course you did too. And we'd been
worse off, but we didn't have money to go to the picture show. But
your father knew how much you kids wanted to see the movie. He went
of his way to find whatever extra work he could so you could kids
could have money to go to the picture.
ROSALIE
I
don't remember that.
ALISON
Your
brother might.
ROSALIE
Mom?

ALISON
Yes,
honey?
They
exchange a long look. 
ROSALIE
Nevermind.
ALISON
What
is it?
Rosalie
opens her mouth to speak, but instead begins to cry softly. She
collapses into Alison's arms.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
Rosalie,
it--
A
beat. Alison stares blankly ahead.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
It
will be alright.
EXT.
PArk - CONTINUOUS
A
breezy, warm afternoon; ROSALIE walks along a path in a park, flanked
with tall buildings.
She
approaches a clearing filled with rows of BOOTHS and DISPLAYS from
different ARTISTS and VENDORS.
She
notices Laura sitting beside a SKETCHPAD. She reads a hastily
scrawled note on a piece of sketch paper: PORTRAITS, 50 cents. Behind
Laura are her PAINTINGS. On display is the beach painting she showed
the family before.
She
finishes a sketch of a YOUNG BOY and hands him the drawing. His
MOTHER pays her. Laura smiles as she accepts the change.
LAURA
Portraits,
fifty cents?
Rosalie
makes eye contact with Laura.
LAURA
(CONT'D)
Oh,
Rosalie. I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you.
She
rubs her eyes.
LAURA
(CONT'D)
You
look so...I don't know. It's been a long day. Not much sleep.
ROSALIE
That's
okay.
SEAN
(o.S.)
Miss,
are these lovely paintings behind you for sale? 
Rosalie
notices Sean, but he's fixated on Laura. She smiles.
LAURA
They
are. 
SEAN
And
who is the painter so I might make the pleasure of her acquaintance?
LAURA
I'm
afraid her schedule is booked until December.
Sean
smiles, noticing Rosalie.
SEAN
When
did you get here?
ROSALIE
Just
a minute ago.
SEAN
Okay.
But we're just going to be selling things, it's not that interesting.
ROSALIE
I
thought-
Sean
looks back at her.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Nevermind.
LAURA
Sean,
please. We've been here for four hours and I've had all of two people
sit for sketches.
SEAN
What's
Mom's job interview?
ROSALIE
Secretary
position. And she quit her old job because she didn't want to be one
anymore...
SEAN
Oh.

ROSALIE
Yes.
And she wanted me to tell you that you're invited for dinner.
SEAN
When?

They're
interrupted by a passing CIVILIAN.
CIVILIAN
Are
these paintings for sale?
Sean
nods, gesturing towards Laura.
LAURA
How
can I help you?
CIVILIAN
You're
the artist?
LAURA
I
am.
CIVILIAN
(pointing
to the beach painting)
How
much for that one?
LAURA
Ten.
CIVILIAN
I
can do five.
Laura
bites her lip. 
LAURA
Sold.
She
hands him the painting. He walks off.
SEAN
Well,
um, there's good news because someone just bought the watch. 
LAURA
Really?
How much did they pay?
SEAN
Twenty-five.
LAURA
No.
We don't know if it's even worth that much. I can't believe it.
There's
a moment of disbelief on her face.
ROSALIE
Wait.
What watch?
Rosalie
freezes. She and Sean exchange a look.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
May
I speak with you?
In
answer, Sean leans her to his booth, where he's laid out an
assortment of his belongings. 
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
You
sold the watch...
SEAN
It
was worth a lot of money.
ROSALIE
I
don't believe you.
She
eyes the booth, noticing an assortment of COMIC BOOKS, among other
things.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Your
comic books?
She
picks up one.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Captain
America? Really?
SEAN
Rosalie.
Stop.
ROSALIE
It's
like you don't even care. ALl that matters to you now is your new
life. Well, fine. I won't call or try to visit you. 
She
begins to storm off. 
SEAN
Maybe
you shouldn't.
ROSALIE
What?!
She
turns around.
SEAN
It
wouldn't hurt to actually talk to other people, you know. And be
actually be nice to them.
Rosalie
freezes as her eyes begin to water.
INT.
LIVING ROOM - DAY
Rosalie
enters the empty living room to notice the lights are off. She tries
to turn the light on, but to no avail.
ROSALIE
Mom?
No
answer.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Hello?

ALISON
(O.S.)

Rosalie?
ROSALIE
Uh,
the lights won't turn on.
Alison
emerges from the hallway.
ALISON
They
cut our power?
ROSALIE
Why?
ALISON
Because,
I was late on the bill.
ROSALIE
I
thought we had enough to get by for now.
Alison
says nothing.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Well,
when are they going to turn it back on?
ALISON
Rosalie,
it'll be alright. I paid the bill. They're going to come back
probably tomorrow. We're just going to have to watch our spending
closely these next few weeks. 
ROSALIE
How
was the interview?
ALISON
Well.
I start Monday. It's at the junior high near us. I told you, right?
ROSALIE
Mhm.
Well, what are we going to do about tonight?
ALISON
Rosalie,
it will be fine. Clearly you don't remember the boarding house we
lived in when you and Sean were young. Or being homeless. We will be
just fine. We're lucky it's a warm night.
Rosalie
sighs. 
ALISON
(CONT'D)
I'm
going to lay back down.
She
disappears into the hallway. Rosalie turns on the radio to a NEWS
PROGRAM and flops onto the sofa. She closes her eyes, and sighs
deeply. Holding back tears. 
INT.
HIll - FLASHBACK
A
snowfall, thick, but peaceful, whirls in the sky. Sunlight peaks
through the clouds. The wind HOWLS.
Snowflakes
fall in Young Rosalie's hair. She quivers, her breath visible in the
frosty air. She stands at the precipice of a steep hill. Beside her
is a wooden SLED.
Jim
and Young Sean stand at the bottom of the hill. Young Sean holds a
SLED of his own.
JIM
Ready?

Rosalie's
eyes again trace the distance from the precipice of the hill. Her
face tightens as she lets off a queasy whine.
JIM
(CONT'D)
Rosalie?
Her
eyes brim with tears.
ROSALIE
I
can't.
Jim
sighs. Sean makes an attempt to climb the hill, but Jim stops him
again and leans his mouth into his son's ear.
JIM
Patience.

Jim
cranes his neck upward so that his eyes meet Rosalie's.
ROSALIE
You
can do it, Rosalie.
She
shakes her head. The tears persist.
JIM
I
don't know about your brother, but I'm getting cold and hungry, and
we promised Mommy we'd be home by dark.
Tears
wet Rosalie's cheeks. Jim breathes deeply, and begins to climb the
hill. When he reaches the top, he kneels down next to Rosalie and
places his hands on her shoulders so as make direct eye contact with
her. His gaze is warm, reassuring.
JIM
(CONT'D)
Why
do you think you're scared?
ROSALIE
I
don't know. It's so high. 
JIM
Well,
you've never done it before, right?
He
tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
JIM
(CONT'D)
New
things can be scary. It's normal.
Rosalie
nods in understanding. 
JIM
(CONT'D)
Now,
if you want, you don't have to go down. We'll let Sean have one last
ride and then we'll go home.
ROSALIE
I
want to go.
Jim
smiles widely. 
JIM
I
was hoping you'd say that. Want me to give you a push.
Rosalie
nods. She mounts the sled shakily, keeping her focus on the hill's
base. Jim grips the end of the sled, pulling it backwards.
JIM
(CONT'D)
One...
two.. 
Rosalie
takes a deep breath.
JIM
(CONT'D)
Three!
He
releases the sled and stands up straight, watching intently. As
Rosalie moves downward, she gains momentum, and a smile forms on her
face. She reaches the bottom in a fit of laughter.
Jim
smiles and runs to meet her, taking her in his arms as she dismounts
the sled.
JIM
(CONT'D)
Not
so bad, was it?
Rosalie
shakes her head?
END
FLASHBACK
INT.
KITCHEN - DAY
Alison,
dressed professionally, puts her dishes in the sink and gives Rosalie
a kiss on the forehead.
ALISON
Before
I go to work I have something I want to show you.
ROSALIE
Oh.
ALISON
It's
a present.
ROSALIE
What's
the occasion? 
ALISON
None
in particular. Give me a minute. 
She
goes into the hallway and comes back a moment later, carrying a large
BOX. She hands it to Rosalie, a smile on her face. 
ROSALIE
What's
inside?
ALISON
Open
it.
She
does, revealing a TYPEWRITER.
ROSALIE
Mom,
this is... how much did it cost?
ALISON
I
thought you would like it. For your articles... or for whatever.
Alison
kisses her daughter on the forehead. She leaves.
Rosalie
stares at the typewriter, letting out a sigh. She takes her dishes
and walks over to the sink. She begins to wash a plate before setting
it down and walking down the hallway. 
INT.
ALISON's BEDROOM - DAY
Of
the many photographs in Alison's bedroom, Rosalie's eyes are drawn to
one in particular; Alison and Jim stand in the midst of a wild
landscape. Jim holds Alison in his arms. Their faces both glow. 
Rosalie
takes the picture in her hands, taking a better look. She takes it
out of the frame. Takes a moment.
Then,
turning it over, she reads a note in gruff scrawl. "My love, it
was great to see you. I miss you more than you know. Know that I am
working as hard as I can so that we can raise our children right. See
you soon. I love you. Jim."
Noticing
a small wooden box sitting atop the dresser, she opens it.
Inside
are many LETTERS. The one that lies on top on the pile is dated from
early December, 1944. She hesitates, but eventually finds the courage
to read.
JIM
(V.O.)
My
love, I do not have the heart to write the kids right now. Perhaps
these words to you will make me feel a little better. Nothing can
ease the pain of the fact that it has been two long and difficult
years since I have last heard your  voice. I cannot express in words
how much I long to hold you, to hold our beautiful children, in my
arms again, to be home. I have seen much in the time I have been away
and thus I must address something. If I don't return home... I know
that with your guidance our children will accomplish much, but only
if you do not lose sight of all you are capable of. You are the love
of my life, and I have treasured every moment we have spent together
I would chose to be with you over even if it meant all of this, for
you and our children have made me happier than I ever
dreamed
I could be. Without all of you I would have lost hope long, long ago.
All my love, Jim.
Rosalie
places the letter back in the box, and stares emptily at the wall.
She exits in a daze.
INT.
CAFETERIA
Rosalie
sits alone at a table, eating her lunch. She notices Mark sitting
down next to her.
ROSALIE
Hi.
MARK
Do
you have a minute?
ROSALIE
Of
course.
He
sits down with a FOLDER in hand.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Oh,
you know what? My mother bought me a typewriter. A typewriter we
can't afford, but... no more handwritten articles. Oh, and my
brother's coming for dinner tonight. I haven't spoken to him since...
well, for a while. 
He
smiles wryly. 
MARK
Rosalie,
it's about your article on the new gym equipment?
He
takes it out of the folder.
MARK
(CONT'D)
This
is actually something I've been wanting to speak to you about for a
while, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up.
ROSALIE
Yes?
He
sighs.
MARK
Your
writing, it... started off really well, and of course was fantastic
all of last year. But there's been a decline.
He
shows her the article, which is covered in red MARKS. 
MARK
(CONT'D)
Did
you even proofread this?
ROSALIE
Um.
MARK
I
mean... I don't think you could care less about this article if you
tried.
ROSALIE
I
get it.
MARK
I
just want to know why.
ROSALIE
There's
a lot going on right now. I haven't exactly had the time to sit down
and write.
MARK
We've
all got a lot going on, Rosalie. You know why the other guys don't
like you?

ROSALIE
Because
I'm a terrible person?
Mark
raises his eyebrow.
MARK
It's
because they know you're a better writer.
ROSALIE
Then
why do you only assign me fluff pieces? And why are my articles never
printed until the last few pages? 
Mark
takes a deep breath, but does not respond.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
You
say you're my friend, but you don't act like it.
MARK
Rosalie...
I would give you better articles if I could... most of the guys and
twelfth graders. If I gave them to you, they would complain. And they
would start rumors.
ROSALIE
Rumors
about what?
MARK
About
you and me.
Rosalie
bites her lip, taking a deep breath.
ROSALIE
Why
is that-
Mark
sighs.
MARK
I
think you'll be happier if you're not on the paper anymore.
ROSALIE
What?
I Promise I'll write better articles. It doesn't matter what I'm
assigned... where this coming from? 
MARK
You
know, Rosalie, I don't even know why this matters so much to you
anyway. You've clearly been miserable writing these articles. 
ROSALIE
It
matters because I want to be a journalist. The same that you do.
Mark
stands up, taking the folder.
MARK
Bye,
Rosalie.
INT.
LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Alison
cooks dinner in the kitchen and Rosalie lies stretched out on the
couch, paging mindlessly through a MAGAZINE. Rosalie gets up and
answers the door to Sean and Laura.
They
both look tired, aged many years. She hugs Sean.
ROSALIE
Hi.
SEAN
Hello.
ROSALIE
It's
been a while.
SEAN
Yeah.
Laura
waves.
ROSALIE
Hi.
Well, uh, come in.
She
leads them inside, and Alison enters the living room, greeting Sean
and Laura.
ALISON
Hello.
Dinner's just about ready.
LAURA
Great.
We're starving. 
As
Alison returns to the kitchen, they all sit down on the couch.
ROSALIE
How
are things?
LAURA
Good.
Sean
extends his hand, and Laura slides hers in automatically. 
LAURA
(CONT'D)
A
lot going on. 
ROSALIE
Have
you painted anything recently?
Laura
shakes her head. She lays her head on Sean's shoulder. He, in turn,
breathes deeply.
Rosalie
sighs. She searches for words, but finds none. 
Sean
turns to Laura, and she smiles weakly.
ALISON
(O.S.)
Dinner's
ready.
INT.
DINING AREA - NIGHT
Mid-meal.
Alison blinks.
SEAN
Just
to last until Friday, when I get paid again.
ALISON
Sean,
I can't give you any more money. I don't have the money to give you.
She
turns to Laura.
ALISON
(CONT'D)
What
about your parents?
LAURA
They
won't help.
Alison
scoffs. Laura turns to Sean. She mouths: "Can we talk?" He
nods.
SEAN
We'll
be right back.
Sean
ushers her into the living area. 
They
start to mutter indistinctly. 
LAURA
This
was a bad idea. I think I'm going to go.
More
indistinct conversation. Laura starts to walk away. Sean grabs her
arm.
SEAN
I
don't want you riding the train by yourself.
Laura
responds, an edge to her voice.
LAURA
Goodbye,
Sean. I'll see you tonight. 
Laura
leaves, slamming the door. Sean breathes deeply, and sits back down
at the dining table.
ALISON
Is
everything alright between you two?
SEAN
Everything's
fine. We've just been dealing with a lot. It's been hard on her. And
I feel like everything I do and say makes it worse.
ALISON
It's
hard living on your own. You were in such a hurry to grow up and get
married that you never considered it. 
SEAN
You
were my age when you married Dad.
ALISON
It
was a different time. You don't have any idea of how hard it was for
us back then. But we had to learn how to live through it just to get
by. And everything we worked for all of those years was so you two
could have a good life. And you sure did. I tried to tell you- it's
hard.
SEAN
So,
Laura and I don't love each other enough or something?
Alison
breathes.
ALISON
That's
not what I said. 
Sean
stands up.
SEAN
It's
been a real swell dinner, Mom. Thank you so much for your help. 
With
that, he leaves, slamming the door behind him. Alison turns to
Rosalie.
ALISON
I
tried to tell him.
ROSALIE
Sean's
an adult. He can do whatever he wants.
ALISON
I
knew this would happen. But no one wants to listen to me.
ROSALIE
They're
just having a fight. They'll make it work, right? Didn't you and Dad
ever fight? 
ALISON
Of
course we did. 
Alison
sighs. 
ALISON
(CONT'D)
Can
you do the dishes, please?
Rosalie
nods wearily. 
EXT.
HILL - DAY
A
bright, sunny, perfect day. Rosalie stands at the precipice of a
steep hill.
Beside
her is Jim, in his army uniform.
ROSALIE
Of
course I remember this place. You used to take Sean and I here when
we were kids.
(laughs)
I
was afraid to go down the hill.
JIM
I
saw a lot of terrible things when I was gone. I had do a lot of
terrible things. There wasn't a moment where I didn't think about
coming home to you. It's what got me through.
ROSALIE
But
you didn't. Why didn't you?
JIM
I'm
sorry.
ROSALIE
I
need you, Dad. I really, really need you. We all do. I've never felt
more alone in my entire life.
She
embraces her father tightly.
ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
It's
my fault. I push everyone away.
JIM
Maybe
they just can't appreciate what a lovely young woman you are. And
someone will, one day. I promise. 
Rosalie
bites her lip.
JIm
(CONT'D)
Rosalie.
Tell your mother that I love her. That I'm alright. And tell your
brother that I'm so proud of him. Just like I am of you. 
He
notices that Rosalie is wearing the NECKLACE.
JIM
(CONT'D)
That
does look beautiful on you.
He
begins to walk away.
ROSALIE
Dad.
Don't go. Please.
He
fades away.


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878 Reviews


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Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:49 am
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Demeter wrote a review...



Hello again!

Right, I'll try to keep this a bit shorter. ;) And less rambly.

Oh yeah! I forgot to say last time, is it intentional that the line break is a bit funny at the beginnings of paragraphs? Like the first word is on its own line and the rest follows after a line break? Maybe it's just mucked up formatting after copying and pasting.

She
sighs. She takes a bite of her breakfast, an unappetizing bowl of
MUSH. She forces herself to swallow, and screams.

I can't help but wonder - what is mush? Is it an actual dish? The other thing is that "screams" may be too strong for what she's actually annoyed about, which is the article? Maybe "groans" or something?

What I said about unexpected responses seems to occasionally apply here too. Rosalie asks Mark about next month's assignments, Mark asks if there's anything she'd like to cover, she says "Not really. Bye!" (rephrased), which is again very surprising. Then again, maybe Rosalie just isn't very capable socially? She doesn't seem like she has many friends, at least. In this sense, it may be intentional that Rosalie seems so awkward sometimes.

ROSALIE
(CONT'D)
Are
you free? We should do something.
SEAN
Not
really. I've been looking for a second job.

This doesn't seem like a good explanation for why Sean can't do something with Rosalie.

When Rosalie comes back from meeting Sean, I'm surprised that Alison doesn't seem to care about how he is at all. She doesn't ask about him but instead talks about her knitting. If this is her being angry at him or has to do with the illness, I think it should come across more clearly.

Sean saying "We're just going to be selling things, it won't be interesting" seems like a really jerk move considering he kind of asked Rosalie to come to the lake to meet them?

ALISON
(CONT'D)
I'm
going to lay back down.

This is a good pointer of Alison's illness! As is her buying the typewriter when they're broke. The only thing I'm wondering is, if I didn't know she was bipolar, I'm not sure I'd get it just from the text? You have some good moments here, but maybe there needs to be more of them and she should be more bubbly/miserable.

So, as far as action goes, there still doesn't seem to be very much of it, but I found this easier to follow than the first part. I'm guessing the ending scene is a dream/imagination scene, and I thought that was quite beautiful. Jim seems like a really sweet person.

On to part three!

xxx




Elinor Brynn says...


Yesss -- the script format isn't supposed to be like that. I tried to get it right but it wouldn't cooperate with me, and this is the best it could do. For reference, here's what a screenplay page is supposed to look like:

http://usercontent2.hubimg.com/7489845_f520.jpg



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Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:52 pm
PenguinAttack wrote a review...



Hey Eli!

Back again in reverse! Let's get stuck in.

Why would Rosalie have any money for the movies? Like, Alison didn't appear to be sarcastic here so it just seems like a really odd thing to ask. It's odd for Rosalie to be so unaware of her drastic monetary situation as well?

So this will be on the other review but I'm going to pin it here (and maybe in Part One as well?) but the dialogue is all over the shop in terms of intent and clarity of emotion. Rosalie, in particular, doesn't seem to be responding appropriately to most of what is happening around her. Okay is a good go-to word but I think she says it way too often.

Mark seems really... out of character? I don't know if that is weird to say, considering that we've not interacted with him too much at all. However, he is rude and inconsiderate and lacks any patience or understanding here. This is despite the last time we interacted with him and he was kind, considerate, interested in what she was saying kind of. It just seems like an odd switch, and on top of which whoa what on earth suggesting the other people in the newspaper might suggest that what, they are dating? It seems like a really really odd suggestion to make if he's 18 or so and she's 15, and considering she was on the paper last year.

I feel like at the moment while we're getting the story, we're getting it in dribs and drabs that miss an element of connectivity. They're linear but they're disjointed so each switch seems jarring and uncomfortable. Perhaps this is reading a medium made to be viewed, but I think it is more that at the moment both too much and not enough is happening. Too much in that it seems like a collection of montages, not enough in the last part as it lacked a sense of purpose or direction. This entire piece seems a little directionless. What do you want out of this, who would your dream cast be, could they play these people and do it well? These seem like off questions but I feel like you're going in eight directions and need to skin down to four.

Thanks for posting!
Pen




Elinor Brynn says...


Hey Pen! Thanks for your reviews on all of my parts. ^^ I thought I'd clarify a few things I noticed that you (and a lot of other people) mentioned in these: my intent (although I admit it probably wasn't executed well) with Rosalie is to make her, at first, a girl struggling for her voice. She was so young when she lost her father and because of it, she moved, losing any familiarity of her old life and the two people that were closest to her. She's very lonely and lacks the self confidence to speak her mind, even if she is a bright girl, because when she does, and five years later has a bitterness from lacking anyone close in her life. Although I don't really think this came across! But that was my intent.
With Mark- in spite of initially being supportive, he really does care about fitting with society and achieving the white picket fence stereotype of the 1950s. Even though he likes Rosalie as a friend, she's an outcast because of single parent home, lower middle class home and interest in journalism over things like dresses and dances. Considering others probably have made fun of the possibility that he and Rosalie might be dating, he uses the declining quality of her articles as a chance to end his association with her.
Hope this clears up some stuff :) your insight was very valuable!



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Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:51 pm
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StellaThomas wrote a review...



Hey Ellie! Here again.

Okay so there was a bit more momentum this time around than in part one and some nice conflict which I felt was a bit lacking in Act I. That said, I am a bit confused about the family's socioeconomic standing. Alison mentions being homeless - and she and Jim met in a soup kitchen. Yet in your descriptions they seem now to be living in a nice suburban house - and she's a widow. So I'm a bit intrigued by what they did to improve their situation so much - does she get a widow's pension?

But then considering how Alison knows of poverty, quitting her job out of nowhere seemed like a bizarre move. I assume she was inspired by the letter but even still it was a silly move. In fact altogether she comes off as a bit of a silly woman - between that and buying a typewriter when they can't afford their electricity. Speaking of - Rosalie seemed not to react at all to that - she was neither grateful or worried about their finances as I read it.

There's lots of themes of poverty going on here that just weren't evident in the first part. While they certainly make for more interesting reading they seemed very out of the blue. I think I was frustrated with a lot of decisions the characters make - Sean and Laura are short on money so why doesn't she get a job? Alison quits her job as a secretary to get another job as a secretary. Rosalie does a bad job with her article because she's annoyed with the content - but she knew she would get fluff pieces. And it seems hypocritical of Alison to tell her to stick with it and things will get better when Alison quit her job herself.

I'm rambling now. The dialogue wasn't as disjointed this piece but I do think it could be useful to run over it and make sure that the conversations sound natural.

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

- Stella x




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Sun Jul 26, 2015 4:45 pm
katiemeyers wrote a review...



Alright I fell in love with the first act of this....... and once again you have me hooked! This story just keeps gaining momentum. I wish Rosalie would say what she's thinking! She makes me want to grab her and shake her, or perhaps sit down and have a heart to heart with her. I think there was one part that seemed somewhat inconsistent but I can't recall where so don't worry about it! Going to head to act three soon! Keep writing!

Your loyal reader, ❤
Katie





The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.
— Unknown