Do not read if you had not read the previous parts.
Seventh Crown IX
~
Cage left the meeting room and, after watching Rebecca retire from her rooms, went to his own rooms to pack and ready for the trip. He was dissapointed that they had to take five guards with them, but he knew that wasn't bad compared to the fourty that the King had origionally planned to send. He reached his rooms and entered them; the head maid had sent a couple satchels and baskets down for him to pack his clothes and gear in. He filled one basket with pants, underclothing, tunics, and shirts. Anothing he stowed his chainmail and armour in. In another basket he stached his sheild and extra sword in its oiled leather sheath. He placed his bow and extra strings, arrows, replacment fletching supplies, and extra arrow heads in another basket. He stacked his things for the trip by the door where a servent could get to it and then went on a quest for food.
Cage and Rebecca arrived at the kitchens at about the same time. They walked in and merged with the busy cooks. Grabbing cheese, bread, and apples they dodged around moving people and exited out into the courtyard. They sat together under one of the trees and relaxed for the first time all day.
"So, we'll be on the road by afternoon, right?" Cage asked Rebecca, she smiled, "That's the plan. But knowing my father, we will probably leave first thing tomorrow morning."
Cage nodded in agreement, "Has the route been decided and mapped?" He asked, adding that to his mental list of things to check on.
Rebecca scrunched up her face as she though, "I think so, but we better check on that." she took a bite of her apple. After swallowing it she asked, "Are you all packed up?"
Cage took a second to answer, "Yeah, but I feel like I forgot something. I have armour, weapons, clothes, extra boots," He trailed off in thought, "But I feel like there is something else I will need."
Rebbeca considered the things he had listed, "Did you grab extra maps, a compass and poisons?"
Cage smacked his forehead, "Thats what I was forgetting!" He exclaimed, "Navigating gear. I'll pack that when I'm done eating."
They finished up their meal, stood up, and dusted themselves off. They parted once again, this time so that she could go walk to her father, and so Cage could go get the missing equipment.
Rebecca walked into the throne room where her father was; he was sitting off to the side, surrounded by advisors and map makers.
~
"But there is a swamp blocking the road in that area." one of the map makers said.
"They can take this road, they just need to be careful to watch for bandits." another replied.
"Of course, they can go that route, they will have to pass through three well-populated towns, but it will probably do more good than harm for the people to see their Queen." One of the advisors, Lord Murray, spoke.
"Very true!" Her father agreed, "So the route they will take is settled. Good!"
Rebbeca wandered over to the table they were gathered at, it had a few maps of different parts of the kindgom rolled out on it. The planned path was marked with red dots that would wash out, so as to not ruin the map. They would be out on the road for roughly twelve days, but that wasnt too bad. The route was mostly mapped out on lesser-traveled roads, but it did pass through one major and two minor towns in the realm; none of the towns were hostile.
Rebecca turned to her father, "When are you sending us off?" She crossed her fingers beind her back for luck with this next question, "How about at third bell?" she waited anxiously for his answer.
His brow furrowed and she knew what his answer would be, "Are you so eager to be off? We need to finish packing, make sure you guards are ready, you need to eat. No, you will leave first thing in the morning." His voice was laced with a tone of finality and she knew she had lost.
"As you wish, father." And with that she left the room. She wanted to leave immediatley, but she also wanted for the trip to never happen. As much as she wanted to help her kingdom; she also wished that the kingdom would take care of itself. The pressure of so many duties and so many lives being put in her hands was starting to be too much. It weighed on her, an almost physical weight that had her dragging her limbs and limping along. She felt like these days she was just going through the motions; like her body was living on its own. Unless she was around Cage, then the world seemed bright and the weight disappeared, if only temporarily. But even being around Cage didnt always work, especially when he gave her that cold, reserved look; like he only talked to her because it was his job. She lived for those moments when they talked, smiled, joked, and got along nicely. She had high hopes that this trip would build and strengthen a relationship between them.
-to be continued-
End of chapter
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Hello. AnarchyWolf here for Review Day.
First of all, sorry for disregarding the message at the top. But, our goal is to clear out the green room, so hey.
Firstly, what went well and what I liked. I don't know anything about the plot so far, but what I can pick up seems to be coming together very well. A strong plot is needed for basically every story, and this one seems to have one. I don't know about the character's motivations yet, but I did just jump in randomly, so that's my fault.
Secondly, the characters themselves. Cage and Rebecca seem to work together quite well, and I'd imagine that they have quite a bit of banter together.
Now, for what you can improve. There are quite a few spelling mistakes in this. I'd suggest going over it again in spellcheck or something, because there really lots of spelling mistakes here.
In the first paragraph, where you say "... left the meeting room and, after watching Rebecca leave...", you use the verb 'to leave' too many times. It makes the writing seem repetitive and it stands out a ton. Change it to 'retired' or something along those lines.
Again, with the first paragraph - it's absurdly long. Start a new line after "... him to pack his clothes and gear in..." to break it up. It's also a logical place to stop in, because the subject changes slightly.
In paragraph two, when you say "... merged..." , it suggests that they literally became one with the chefs. 'Mingled' or similar would give a better image of what you mean.
When you write your dialogue, you get your capitol letters wrong. "Cage took a second to answer, "Yeah, but..." - here, you don't put a capitol letter in the dialogue. Just leave it lower case.
Next, a general point for improvement - more description. Not so much for the characters, but for the settings. I have virtually no idea what their setting looks like. Comment on the walls, the aromas in the kitchens, the clashing cutlery, the texture of the map or the table. Stuff like that will set the mood and give a lot more info about the kind of place the characters are in.
Overall, this was good with a few points for improvement. Again, sorry for ignoring the message. Hope the review helped a bit.
Happy Review Day
-AnarchyWolf
It is fine. At least you read it.
I am sorry that I can not take your review seriously.
Why not?
Hey, I am back again!!
So the nit pick first...
Add an 'e' in one of the map makers.
Rest, it was interesting. I am excited for the trip. I mean, I am excited to read what will happen in the trip. I hope it will be a happy journey.
Curious to see the next chapter you have released.
Hey, thanks for the review. You need to try making your review a bit longer even if oyu already know the problems. Thank you for correcting it for me.
*you* i am still dumb XD