Swirling spirals
Recounting
My eyes torn out and I look at the sky
Buzz buzz!
Rereading
Take the north wind from the sky to prove,
I, the sun, is the best!
The best there must be.
Conquer my love because I don't need me.
I’ll move past me.
The effete new world
offers us a hand,
I take it and I…
run
Dizzy
Repeating
Cut my wings until I finally fly
Can I fly?
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138,007 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Annnd my final review for today. My hand hurts =D
I really love these confusing statements in your poem. Like cutting off wings is what enables flying? Or that someone can just take a wind out of the sky!
I’m not sure, shouldn’t this be “I, the sun, is the best!” am instead of is?
Also I’m stumped by this “The effete new world”, what is effete in this case?
All in all I was pleasantly entertained by this! Hope you have a great day!
so with the first one the confusing statements kind of represent delusional or dazed thinking, with the second it kind of goes along with delusional thinking in a way with seeing yourself as being the thing that gives light to our whole world and mostly was meant to show someone with a big ego and saying best as in our solar system i suppose. and with the third effete is describing the world of today and it feeling as the world is so over refined theres nothing left for us to do in some way. im glad this brought you entertainment as this is one of my older poems i tried to revise lol
It reads quickly and like a list, which gives it a more cinematic feeling. The poem slowly grows as you read it until it subdues the expectation and finishes with a question. The uncertainty is my favorite part. This is probably my favorite poem on YWS.
ahhh thanks so much <3 I feel so honored you say that!
Beautiful! Short but makes a statement - I love it. "Conquer my love because I don't need me." That line really made me shiver, it's amazingly written. I can imagine a scene to it - the sun in your eyes, grass tickling your shins as you wonder - and I LOVE poems that make me think like that. Wonderful
yayy Thanks so much! This is the first review I've ever gotten and it makes me very happy.