A Meeting

by Dracula

Published July 25, 2015

In Songs and Other Things

Marie Studholme smiled at the children as they ran past her, she hummed to the rhythm of her steps on the cobblestone street. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon; the sun warmed her skin, the air was fresh and most importantly, Marie had finished her schooling.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like school, it was always exciting to learn new things, but with leaving came a sense of freedom. Many of her friends had left years ago and were already married, but Marie’s parents had insisted that a good education would guarantee her a good husband. However she had no intention to marry just yet; this was her time to be adventurous.

Marie lived in the peaceful village of Eyam. Its buildings were nothing like those in the cities, they were made of old stone bricks and had ivy creeping into the windows. The one thing that was like the city was Eyam’s class system. There was the upper-class, treated like royalty in such an isolated village; the middle-class, who acted like the upper except with a budget; and the working-class, the ones everyone relied on to do the hard work but treated like slaves. Marie came from a middle-class family, she was expected to act like a lady and only associate with the ‘posh’ people. She believed otherwise; Marie wanted to have fun and she had discovered that fun was best found in company who didn’t mind getting dirt on their clothes.

Miss Studholme followed the path to the church, the organ pleasing her ears. She continued to the back of the church where stood a large field decorated with soursobs and beyond it, a river. The last time Marie had played in a river was years ago. She ran towards it, holding her skirt as not to trip. She imagined the water sweeping against her, tempting her to flow away with it, she thought of the reeds tangling around her legs and her laughter as she’d attempt to free herself.

“Good afternoon.” Marie jumped back when a head popped out of the water and spoke. The head had blonde hair (which Marie thought was in need of a cut) which wrapped around his neck, and a nose that you’d find on a pixie. He seemed about her age, but she was absolutely certain that this young man had not attended her school. “I’m awfully sorry for frightening you.” He swam to the riverbank and climbed out, revealing a thin body dressed with poorly matched clothing.

Marie straightened her skirt and tried to maintain a confident posture. “That’s alright.” She stood on the green grass, the sun making her golden hair glow.

The man stared for a moment, as if deciding what to say next. Then he held out his hand, withdrew it, wiped his hand dry, and held it back out for her. “My name is Arthur Wright. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss…”

“Studholme.” She took his hand, suddenly feeling excited at the idea of becoming aquainted with such a seemingly fun-loving person. “Marie Studholme.”

He must have noticed the sparkle in her eyes as Marie looked behind him at the river, for he stepped out of her way and held out his hand towards the water. “Do you need assistance to cross? Or have you come for a swim?”

“A swim, of course!” She instantly adored the playful tone of his voice. “Although…” Marie looked down at her dress, not at all suited for water. “My mother will be unhappy if I-”

“If you what?” He knelt down and scooped some water in his hands. “Get your dress wet?” He threw up his hands, sending a small wave towards her. She gasped as water hit her face and ran down her dress. The water was warm, unusual for such a cool day, and she let out a laugh. “It’s so warm!”

“Warm indeed, for we can’t let you catch a chill.” He smirked and dived into the river, purposely causing water to splash towards her.

This was the adventure and fun that Marie had hoped her. She let go of all thoughts of her mother’s inevitable anger and plunged into the water. It enveloped her light a soft blanket and the reeds tickled her toes, she felt her cheeks turn red as she grinned with delight at the experience.

Arthur found her hand in the water and held it, helping her to stay afloat. This move was welcomed, as it took Marie a little while to remember how to properly swim. “Tell me, Miss Studholme-”

“Marie, please.”

“Tell me, Marie, what brings you to the river? You certainly don’t seem prepared for a swim.”

“I haven’t paddled here in years.” She splashed around with her free hand, enjoying the feel of the water flowing between her fingers. “But what about you? Do you live in Eyam? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“All my life. Only I tend my family’s farm most of the time.”

“You didn’t go to school?”

“My parents teach me everything I need to know.”

“They sound lovely.”

Arthur nodded and caught Marie off guard; he put both his hands on her shoulders and pushed her head underwater. Marie panicked, thrashing her legs left and right to no avail. Then, when she saw the gigantic grin on his tightly clasped lips, she knew he was only playing. When they resurfaced a moment later, Marie began splashing water on his face, which resulted in the most fun she could have wished for; a water fight.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Persistence
Review
Persistence wrote a review Review · Jul 26, 2015

Hey Dracula! I really liked this!

I have not encountered any errors of any kind, you have evidently worked hard and done your best!

The sentences are not too long, and not too short, allowing for a very easy read. You do not use the same words in close proximity, adding to general diversity of vocabulary.

I like Marie. She comes across as someone who is passionate about life. Her character has endless potential. Maybe later on you could give her at least one unique trait that will set her aside from all the other characters in other works, but she is just fine at this stage.

It may have been better if you had told how the village worked through character dialogue, instead of just telling us though narration. That definitely would have made for a more engaging story, even if the village is not that important later on.

I really liked this! It was excellent writing! I hope you continue your great work!

User avatar
Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review Review · Jul 26, 2015

Happy Review Day!

Well then. This quite well-written. Excellent indeed. You really seem to have mastered the tone and mood of this piece. It feels fairytale-like; wistful, almost. It's easily brought out through your brilliant word choice. Marie's inner thoughts are pleasant indeed.

I wonder about Eyam. Would there be enough people in such a town to enforce a system of classes? But that's just an afterthought. Also, were these classes "defined" or did they remain sort of invisible at first glance?

Your characters are very easily brought to life. I don't even mind that you're telling us Marie's personality outright in some cases. As for Arthur, well, he's very prominently characterized into a lovable person.

The plot is simply adorable, and the interactions are lovely. The imagery is also a highlight, allowing the reader to feel the scene as it takes place. The warmth of the sun, the water, the reeds, it's all here.

No grammatical errors here, good for you. Overall, this was very well-written and there's not much that I can say here. Cheers.


-Chaser



The thing about plummeting downhill at fifty miles an hour on a snack platter - if you realize it's a bad idea when you're halfway down, it's too late.
— Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune