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15 Reasons Why Daleks Don't Have Showers

by Dracula


15 Reasons Why Daleks Don't Have Showers

1. Shower cubicles are often quite small, they would have a tremendous amount of trouble getting in and out.

2. Daleks aren't very 'touchy' creatures. Every time a drop of water hit them they would shout EXTERMINATE!

3. But before that, how would they even turn the knob to get the water running?

4. And are daleks actually wateproof? I mean, we've seen rusty daleks before.

5. Each time the dalek shouts EXTERMINATE, it will try to destroy the water drop which hit it.

6. The shower wouldn't be a shower for very long.

7. If the shower wall is made to resist lasers, the dalek would probably end up destroying itself.

8. And there would be no dalek to take a shower in the first place.

9. Everyone knows that water drops can drive a person mad. What about daleks?

10. The universe does not want even more mad daleks.

11. Although I doubt they actually need showers. It would be a waste of water.

12. But if a dalek did decide that it wanted a shower, word would spread and all showers would be taken over by daleks.

13. And water would drip on them and they would go mad and EXTERMINATE.

14. And basically there would be lasers flying around everywhere on earth and on other planets with showers.

15. And the universe would end up being exterminated because a dalek had a shower.


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Mon Mar 12, 2018 5:34 pm
Iamawriter says...



I love this so much




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Fri Jun 26, 2015 11:24 pm
kymorhens says...



Wow. This post made me so happy!!! So glad to see whovians represented!!!




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Fri Jun 26, 2015 11:17 pm
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Harker says...



Image

We may need to discuss this.




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Thu Jan 01, 2015 7:03 am
PebbleToad wrote a review...



I am slowly working through Doctor Who on Netflix, and I found this really funny. I think Daleks prefer to be dry-cleaned, actually. I've only got a few nitpicks here:

"Daleks aren't very 'touchy' creatures."
I think what you meant to say here was 'are' instead of 'aren't'. The only reason I believe this is that the sentence would make a lot more sense. (Plus, that thing in S1 when Rose touches the dalek and all that jazz in her hand turns it kinda good.)

"And are daleks actually waterproof?"
The 'and' at the beginning of this sentence is not necessary. As a general rule of thumb in writing, don't start sentences with 'and'. This basically goes for everything.

That's all I have! Happy 2015! :D




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Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:57 pm
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Maybeileen says...



What a relief to find another Whovian on this site(I'm new here.)! I very much enjoyed your humor and I was laughing along with you! I like the matter-of-fact tone. Cheers!




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Sat Nov 01, 2014 5:05 am
StupidSoup says...



Whats a Dalek ._.




jazzydracula says...


Your worst nightmare. ;)



annardj12 says...


*gasp* watch Doctor Who. Right now. You'll love it. I swear.



15253 says...


isn't doctor who that cartoon guy that teaches lessons to children >->



jazzydracula says...


...



15253 says...


no im serious, he has a cartoon mmo named after him right?



Astronaut says...


No...



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Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:58 am
Oswin wrote a review...



Geronimo! that was fantastic! i thought that i was a rare sight; a girl that likes doctor who. i am new to this site, and i think that you were one of the 3 people that convinced me to sign up! i wonder how all the non-whovians reacted to this? pudding-brains. anyway, i really enjoyed it. thank you for submiting it! now we can tell who is awesome easier. (sorry if i came on way to strong, i didn't mean to make you feel unwanted emotions)




jazzydracula says...


Haha thanks! I'm glad you're a Whovian, there aren't enough of us.



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Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:59 pm
wakarimasen says...



And what do you suppose would happen if a dalek got soap in its eye?




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Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:38 pm
MarGeo says...



I thought this was really funny! Great job! Never even thought about Daleks in showers! I do have a few corrections though.

". 2. Daleks aren't very 'touchy' creatures. Every time a drop of water hit them they would shout EXTERMINATE!"
Extermininate! Should be in quotation marks and "hit" should be "hits"

"3. But before that, how would they even turn the knob to get the water running?"
A reason should not be a question in my opinion.

Number 5 should be after 2 and 3 before 2.

Number 8 should not start with "And"

11 should be phrased
"11. It would be a waste of water, Daleks don't even need to shower"

13-15 should not star with "and"




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Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:35 pm
MarGeo wrote a review...



I thought this was really funny! Great job! Never even thought about Daleks in showers! I do have a few corrections though.

". 2. Daleks aren't very 'touchy' creatures. Every time a drop of water hit them they would shout EXTERMINATE!"
Extermininate! Should be in quotation marks and "hit" should be "hits"

"3. But before that, how would they even turn the knob to get the water running?"
A reason should not be a question in my opinion.

Number 5 should be after 2 and 3 before 2.

Number 8 should not start with "And"

11 should be phrased
"11. It would be a waste of water, Daleks don't even need to shower"

13-15 should not star with "and"




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Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:37 pm
90skids wrote a review...



I haven't actually watched Dr Who (I'm sorry :() but I still found this really really funny.
It's really well-written and well thought out. As well as this, it makes a massive change from reading and reviewing endless novel chapters which, after you've read about five, let's be honest get a bit boring. The title made me want to see what it was about and you didn't leave me disappointed.
I loved this piece and I really hope you write more like it :)




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Wed Oct 29, 2014 8:48 pm
godlypopo says...



This is so funny XD I am a doctor who fan myself however I would never have thought of an idea like this! I like the repetition of the idea that the dalek would just go mad because of a few droplets of water. This is a very funny and original piece of writing.
Now I'm gonna go and laugh quietly in my room.
Godly




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Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:39 am
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wakarimasen says...



Heeheehee! :D




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Tue Oct 28, 2014 11:26 pm
CuriosityCat says...



XD I literally cannot even. This is possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. I can't think of one nitpick (though I'm sure there are some). I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!
*searches page for "love" button to press*




jazzydracula says...


Thank you! XD




If you want something badly, you just gotta believe it's gonna work out.
— Andy, Parks & Rec