love (handle with care)

by DappledCities

Published October 23, 2016

E - Everyone

In Evanescent Luminescence

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kill me some more

feel me some more

kiss me some more

hurt me some more.

give me some more

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
all
Review
all wrote a review Review · Oct 24, 2016

Hey, here for a review.

I like the title and how it feeds to the hungriness someone feels when met with love, very well done. One thing however that you could work on is punctuation. Only this line has punctuation: "hurt me some more." So I would recommend going completely without the punctuation or correctly add it to each line. I would also say, like the first review, be creative. I really like the idea of being loved and handled with care so I would like to see more content on the subject. Though I do realize your take on the subject. Adding higher end vocabulary is also an option. Overall, I really do like this topic and wish that you could expand on it more. Best of luck on your other works of literature!

User avatar
darkxlayer Review
darkxlayer wrote a review Review · Oct 23, 2016

Your work is quite alright. I like what you did with the title, "Love (handle with care)".
it's really simple and too short. I'm not sure if every reader will be able to understand what you meant by your words. Include more lines (which are not too repetitive), include punctuation. Be more creative! explore more vocabularies. I'm looking forward in seeing your future posts.



I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
— Roald Dahl