There they lay, between the once crisp sheets with
the summer breeze tousling their hair. One whispers
soft nothings into the others' ear, straight into his heart
while he slides his hands down the others' chest . . .
lower. In that frenzy of passion they took off the heavy
burden from their chests for a brief eternity. For a
moment they forgot the fake skins they wore, that
were so incredibly tight and let them hang in their
cupboards just
for this
night.
There they stood, each a mile apart, two completely
different people from the night before. Each donned
their tight skins with the heavy burden strapped to
their chests. As they walked passed each other in
the hallway, their breaths quickened and the burdens
lifted. Just for a second. Though they didn't smile or
wave. They didn't hold hands. It wasn't a matter of
choice. No. They couldn't. Their love was only for
the
dark.
When they were alone, tears streaming down their
faces, those salty droplets of water were the unsaid
words they wanted to scream for everyone to hear,
but they couldn't. The only sound was the subtle buzz
of absolute grief that you could only hear if you didn't
listen too closely. In the midst of all this confusing
silent commotion, one small question was being asked.
Why did I have
to be this
way ?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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126,994 Literary Works • 672,943 Reviews
This is absolutely beautiful. Amazing imagery, it's very concise and organized. You have an amazing talent and I cant wait to read more of your work.
I really like the use of "fake skins" and "tight skins" showing that that's what they portray on the outside and its a burden to do so, but it isn't who they really are. I also love the contrast, the carefree and loving nature of the first stanza to the heartache of the last.
Again, this is a wonderful poem. Keep writing!!
I had to take a moment to compose myself after reading this. I'll get to how much the actual point means to me in a moment. First I just want to praise all the description here. I felt like I was watching it all happen. I could see it, from beginning to end. I really liked how you ended each section. It added to the effect the story you told had on me, so that's great. I really loved how you described the two of them in the first section. I wish you had continued the "there they ___ " for the last section, but it really isn't necessary, it's just a nitpick.
Okay, the message behind this made me want to cry. I've never had friends who have experienced this first hand, and obviously I have not, either, so I don't understand the experience of being in love with some one society says you shouldn't be in love with, but THIS. This gave me the closest thing to the experience I think I'll ever have. Bravo!
Keep writing!