Why me?

Hiya! I’m making a review! Your poem is really short but also really powerful, and I can feel a lot of meaning in this poem. I feel like I have lived this poem before, it’s easy to relate to. And overall, you did a fantastic job on this poem! I actually like the fact that it’s quite short because the meaning will just hit you and leave you thinking about it afterwards. So that’s cool, amazing poem! Write on!

I see that you note that this poem is uneditted - while uneditted poetry can be a great cathartic device, I do think that generally going back through and editting doesn't generally diminish the message or the emotion, but rather highlights it even better.

If you do get around to editing this piece, I have three comments for you.

1) As the reviewer below noted, this poem could be about any scenario imaginable, a break-up, the loss of an important foot ball game, realizing you forgot to buy milk for your morning cereal, really anything. While for some this might make the poem a neat thought experiment, I tend to be of the opinion that poems that if a poem is about everything or nothing then it's difficult as a reader to commit to connecting to the piece. Because there's not a story in it that grabs me.

To that end, I'd suggest introducing some specificity to this piece. Dig into those emotions, explore them and then give the reader some concrete metaphors and ideas to know what the speaker is talking about.

2) The two most used metaphors in poetry: "Heart Break" and "Tears like Rain"
And this poem, has both of them. Now you did add a bit of a twist with some more detailed imagery, but essentially we've still got the same metaphors.

The problem with these reoccurring metaphors is that they've been used so many times before that people have started to read them as filler - they've lost their meaning and become "used language". The best way to utilize already used language is to give it an unexpected twist, or to make them very specific so that the reader hears them in a new way. If you're going to keep these metaphors I'd really suggest trying out either of those routes, or just ditching them and finding some other metaphors to work with to describe the speaker's emotions.

3) I like the use of repetition in here, and especially that you've made it a reoccurring refrain in the poem, that's a nice device to use, and tells me a little more about the feeling expressed in the poem.

I hope those comments give you some thoughts to consider.

And please let me know if you had any questions about my review.

Let the poetry escape from your stretched lungs, but try not to lose your heart
~alliyah

This poem hits close to home with me. I am only fourteen, but I can relate to this. I am currently in a bad situation, socially, and I have basically lived this poem. Many times. I feel this poem is so real. It shows real emotions and how you really feel, which is amazing. It's also short, which is great, as it shows what's happening in so little time. It's also so cool that I can rely on my imagination to see what this poem is about. "Is this person dealing with a loss? A breakup? Did they fail a test?"
I enjoyed this poem and I think you did great!