This very short poem is a very raw work I wrote at a very painful time of my life. This is also posted on my DeviantArt account.
They say that sticks and stone may break your bones
That words will never hurt you
Actions, yes can cause hurt and pain
But words, they can last and burn
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Wow, I can relate to this so much. The things people have called me burn into me, make me feel like I'm worth nothing.
Words linger. Nothing stays forever, but the feeling that you get when words sting remains for what seems like eternity.
This is wonderful and meaningful <3
Thank you so much for your comment. Sorry for people being so mean but I am glad you see the mensing of this piece of writing so easily.
Hello!! Personally, I relate to every word you posted. It gave off a meaningful atmosphere as a reader and aspiring writer. I can say that your work creates a clear picture. I suggest that you could furthermore express yourself through several descriptive words and situations, given that it may help ease the pain you are feeling. I understand that it is a hard time for you. In line with that, I hope you felt/feel better. I really hope you do. Just continue to express yourself and be an inspiration to each and every one. Let words pave the way for recovery. Nevertheless, your poem is essential and teaches all of us how words can affect our lives. You've taught me a lot with your work. Your poem made me reflect about my life as well. It hurts to get wounded physically, yet the emotional pain will remain. What topics do you usually write about? Are they mostly based on real-life situations, fiction, or others?
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed/related to this poem. I have since recovered some from the situation at the time but something still remains at the back of my mind sometimes. As for topics I write about it varies some of both real life and fiction. I have a number of things I have written in the past I am trying to get posted but it's going slow for earning points to do so atm.
Hey there, Cyvain87, itś your favourite Thunderclan medicine cat coming at you with a review.
First off, your poem is short but powerful; I really delight in these kinds of poems.
*smacks the like button*
I prefer them over the long ones that never seem to end. But anyway...enough about me.
So first off, some grammar and punctuation. You might want to consider putting a comma at the end of the first line, and periods at the end of the second and last. Maybe but a semicolon or comma at the end of the third line?
Other than that, I can relate to this alot.
Keep writing!
Thank you very much for your comment and grammar input! My fatal weakness that.
you should put you at the end of the poem but this is really good!
I was thinking about that at the time but that felt like I would have been repeating the same word from two lines above too soon.
Hi! Wordwing here!
This reminds me of the lyrics in Bo Burnam's song- Kill yourself. It goes like this: "Sticks and stones might break your bones but words can break your heart..."
I understand the meaning of this poem, and I can also relate but you could have added more to the poem like describing how and why it hurts, burns, what it does, you can use a metaphor...
In other words show, don't tell.
The last part seems a bit dull because of how it's portrayed.(told)
I'm sorry you had a painful time, I can relate.
Have a good day!
Well as I said it is a very basic raw small bit I wrote and at the time it felt that's where the poem ended to me. But I can see your point also. Thank you for your comment.
That is the truth. Some words from some people might never manage to hurt us. But from certain others, such as parents, and other significant people, hurt is inevitable. Especially if the words are deployed in public in order to humiliate via embarrassment. Also, what the platitude fails to notice is that the enunciation of words is an action involving the action of speaking or writing. So the statement is self-contradictory as well.
Suggestion:
More poetic devices besides the word "burns" would be nice.
Punctuation would look better.
Thank you I am never too great with grammar suggestion noted.
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
*deep breath* WELCOME TO YWS I AM SORRY I HAVE NOT SAID HI BUT HELLO NOW! If you haven't seen me around I am Flumadiddle, also called E.E. My friend, the Grim Reaper, helps me on this site. Anywho, time for a review!
I LOVE THIS POEM BECAUSE I RELATE TO EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. Seriously, even with only a few need commas after the lines "They say that sticks and stone may break your bones", "Actions, yes can cause hurt and pain", this poem is perfect. I love it and you manage to say so much with only so little. Bravo!
I get this. Every line. I know the pain of words in the form of knives and actions that are more then wasted energy. I know that people are complete (pardon my french here), assholes and I know that the words are like a virus. Strong, but so little. They hurt. But do what you need to so to keep them away. So many people, including me, write poetry to express our emotions. Please, if you need to talk PM me, I am glad to talk, to let you rant!
Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanks- WAIT, MERRY CHRISTMAS, I CAN SAY THAT NOW! OR HAPPY HANUKA I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Thank you so much, I am glad others can see the meaning behind the words.
Yeah, its nice when people do. I recommend checking out @woahhitherepal, @DemonGoddess and @WhosabellCanWrite for their poetry and they are great people for a laugh or just to talk.
I understand, words can hurt. Words can cut deep, words can make you feel like nothing you do matters.
Just they hurt in a way that doctors, that others can't see. They hurt mentally, they can lead to physical harm.
but,
don't
let
it
go
hat
far
don't
let
them
get
to
you
because
it
WILL
be
O
.
K
it
W
I
L
L
get
better,
and people care
Thank you for your kind words, I do try to remember that some days aren't as easy though.
Your welcome, and do remember. Please, I care about you even if we have never met it is because you are a beautiful living thing with a heart and feelings just like me just like all people on this cruel earth, and it is an unconditional love.