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My Tower Of Strength

by Cyvain87


This poem still has a deep emotional connection for me, it was written over 10 years ago approximately now but the event in my life it is about does not get any less emotional. This is also on my DeviantArt account. 

My tower of strength 

The one who gave me guidance 

Gone, gone but not forgotten 

I will never forget, I never want to forget 

You will always be remembered


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385 Reviews


Points: 24
Reviews: 385

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Thu Nov 08, 2018 2:34 pm
Eros wrote a review...



Hey there, Cyvain87!!

This is Eros here with a review for you!!

This is a really deep poem and I really loved it. The words and the meaning is also beautiful... It is deep and emotional. I can myself relate to it and there's a deep story hidden behind the short poem ... It has happened with me too. Loving someone so much and the person going away forever ...never coming back again. We will always remember them for all that he/ she has taught us.

That was emotional and I really really loved it. The poem is short and I love the way you have described such a deep feeling through so less number of words.

Loved the line,
"Gone, gone but not forgotten"
The line is the heart of the poem. The repetition is making the poem sound more poetic.

It was an awesome poem and a great work.

Keep writing such awesome poetries and stuff and Iwe wo would love to keep reading and reviewing them!!

Have a great day / night!

With love,
From Eros.
:D




Cyvain87 says...


Thank you so much for your comment. I like going back to this poem on certain days almost in tribute to them.



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22 Reviews


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Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:23 am
sophies36 wrote a review...



Sophie here to review!
~
this is so powerful and meaningful! I love it so much. I love how at first, this tower of strength seems to be an object but turns out to be a person. "Gone, gone, but not forgotten." is my favorite line! it shows how important this person is to you and I think this poem was an amazing thing to create.
~
just one thing-is there supposed to be periods? at the ends? I think its supposed to be=

My tower of strength.

"The one who gave me guidance.

Gone, gone but not forgotten.

I will never forget, I never want to forget.

You will always be remembered."

how ever, I could be wrong so you don't have to take my advice.
~
amazing job and write on!




Cyvain87 says...


Thank you so much. As for the punctuation i do not know myself if the punctuation I have placed there is correct but i do seem to remember having asked someone who should have had the correct answer grammaticallly what should have been there so unless anyone can show me otherwise I will leave that as is. I appreciate your input.



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17 Reviews


Points: 166
Reviews: 17

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Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:17 am
Chinku says...



Hi there,
it's a nice work, it's quite short though it has a deep meaning. nothing much to say about it as it's short and pretty but i guess it need little clarification about the story of lose also seems the poem is little incomplete. That much.
Good job, keep writing.

chinku.




Cyvain87 says...


At the time of writing this poem it felt complete to me and it still does. I wasn't wanting to make it too specific or personal to myself in order to make it relatable to others more easily. What sort of clarification do you feel is missing? I value your view very much.



Chinku says...


Hi, it's alright, following the clarification, as I understood the poem that you have described someone as your tower of guidance, but for an uncertain reason he/she left you, which leads a question "why", and in then you don't wanna forget the person. in the first line it was describing your happiness with the persons guidance and in the next moment you fell in to the trap of grief so some thing is hidden in between it.
That was the thing missing from the poem, but you don't need to follow this as poem is the voice of writer and i told before also it's a pretty one.

Thanks.



Cyvain87 says...


Of course I did not want to state it out loud at the time of writing the piece due to how emotional and intensely raw the feelings were. I like getting criticism so I can learn and also see how others see them more clearly that way. I will probably still leave this poem as is for now and maybe make an edit in future to add in more clarity of I think up one as i can see how adding that may help. Thank you very much again for your insight.




“Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number. Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you— Ye are many—they are few.”
— Mary Shelly