This piece was written during a very low time I was going through and I know it is short but It felt right for this piece to be so. I welcome criticism on it to improve my writing however this was just written as it came to mind no editing so it is very raw. This is also posted on my DeviantArt account.
It's not easy
To find the words
To say how I feel
It's not easy
To find the words
To explain what I mean
It's not easy
To find the words
Do they even exist?
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Heya, this is ElvenJedi, here to review your work!
To be completely honest, there is nothing negative to say about this work. The rawness of it is very clear, and I commend you on that; the only truly good writings are ones that speak from experience and truth. This poem is honestly so relatable as well, but not in a cliché/overused way. It's also very well put together- what I mean by that is all fits, it's all consistent, and it's also well organized. There's nothing random in it, and you used repetition very well.
Here's what I gathered from reading it, if it's true to what you intended then good job!:
-the character is feeling very strong emotions, too strong to put into words
-the character is confused, possibly feeling a variety of emotions that don't mix well
-the character is very, very overwhelmed, possible feeling alone due to not being able to convey their emotions with other people
If I had to find one thing to criticize here, it'd be the very last line, since for some reason I just feel like it doesn't hold the same meaning and rawness of the rest of the piece. Honestly though, that's just my opinion, so take that with a grain of salt.
Overall, I very much enjoyed this poem, and I hope to read more of your works in the future! Keep it up
Thank you very much for your comment. The meaning you picked up in the piece is absolutely what I intended. I have been thinking about that last line for quite some time and wrestling with how to change it appropriately. One day the inspiration will hit me.
No problem!
I really like and relate to the message of this poem. I feel like this explains why writing is so hard some of the time. Finding a way to say how you feel can be difficult when you don't even know exactly how you feel. I like how your poem repeats "It's not easy to find the words..". It's simple yet meaningful. I feel like the last line could've been edited a bit more because I don't feel like it matches like the third and the sixth line do. This poem is amazing keep writing shit like this fr love it.
Thank you very much for your comment. The last line has been bugging me too but as the poem says finding the right words to express that that fit is isn't easy. One day I may suddenly come up with some inspiration that fixes that. I am glad you like the poem anyway.