Young Writers Society

Hi there Codayy! Niteowl here to leave a quick review.

Now, overall, I'd say you got a monster of an assignment there. "What love is" is such a broad and abstract topic that someone who tries to write about "love" is almost certain to fall into cliched traps. I much prefer love poems that focus on specific relationships, certain moments in time. There you can find your own unique take on the subject and really find your voice as a poet.

I thought your first two lines were strong. I've never heard those metaphors before, and it felt like the start of something unique. After that, however, it started to sound exactly like I Corinthians, to the point where I would call it plagiarism if you hadn't cited it. These verses are one of the more well-known parts of the Bible, so it sounds a bit tired when you use it so strictly in a poem.

I still think you could use the Christian inspiration, but I would go a bit deeper. What would a person that lives by these ideals look like? What would they do? How would they look or sound? How would they overcome their human sins and imperfections to be more loving in this sense? You could focus on this in the context of romantic love, or go beyond that to other kinds of love (friendship, family, serving your community).

Overall, I think you could work with this focus, but I would try to go beyond paraphrasing the Bible. Good luck with the assignment and keep writing!

Great project! I definitely see I Corinthians as your road map. I also really liked the first line. (I'm a sucker for a broad vocabulary). Definitely the sort of love we all hope to find someday, and to hang onto once we've found it!

Cheers,

Shoneja123

A wonderful take on the meaning and essence of love!

"Love doesn't get tempered easily by wrongs, but doesn't celebrate sins." An eleven-word line with a thousand meanings! It tells how love makes one overlook the mistakes of others but not out of weakness; out of commonsense, niceness and decency. I'm anything but a missionary, but actually that line is evocative of a biblical proverb attributed to good old King Solomon saying : "Love covers all wrongs".

Love does teach 'positive' humility and modesty, but does not teach 'full-on submission'. That is, a lover should not be happy when others wrong him. He should forgive but not let others stamp over him.

That's how I actually read that line in your stanza. Maybe you didn't mean that, but that's how I see it, after all

Love is kindness, love is patience, love is wealth, love is modesty, love is tolerance - that's what your poem is all about. A 'true' lover sees the world in shades of pink. A true lover loves unconditionally, always gives, never hates, never envies.

In a nutshell, All you need is love as the Beatles said

I give your poem a 9/10. Good job, buddy!