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3D Hearts

by Codayy


Even if the terminus exceeds infinity, Love will still embrace you with open arms. 

Even if Love can only claim a penny, the penny will still be donated to you

Because Love is patient and kind. 

The perfect person will never make Love envy. 

The perfect period will never make Love succumb to pride

Because Love isn't proud of perfect. 

The "loveless" does not get cheapened by Love. 

The "loveless"  even possesses a treasure map to find Love

Because Love isn't self-searching. 

Love doesn't get tempered easily by wrongs, but doesn't celebrate sins.

Love still allows everybody a chance to graduate; to see the shock, smiles, and tears from all graduates.

Because Love loves everybody. 

---

AN: This was actually an English project over the weekend. We had a regular paper heart, and had to make a poem or drawing about what love is.

I had a reading in church Sunday that involved what was in a Christian view. It inspired me. I made a second heart and glued part of it together making a pocket. I then crumbled up the reading (a written, copied version) and put it in the pocket. The poem is not final, so that's why I haven't drawn anything on the heart, just to see what changes need to be made. 

The verse that inspired the poem was 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.


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Tue Feb 02, 2016 6:12 pm
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there Codayy! Niteowl here to leave a quick review.

Now, overall, I'd say you got a monster of an assignment there. "What love is" is such a broad and abstract topic that someone who tries to write about "love" is almost certain to fall into cliched traps. I much prefer love poems that focus on specific relationships, certain moments in time. There you can find your own unique take on the subject and really find your voice as a poet.

I thought your first two lines were strong. I've never heard those metaphors before, and it felt like the start of something unique. After that, however, it started to sound exactly like I Corinthians, to the point where I would call it plagiarism if you hadn't cited it. These verses are one of the more well-known parts of the Bible, so it sounds a bit tired when you use it so strictly in a poem.

I still think you could use the Christian inspiration, but I would go a bit deeper. What would a person that lives by these ideals look like? What would they do? How would they look or sound? How would they overcome their human sins and imperfections to be more loving in this sense? You could focus on this in the context of romantic love, or go beyond that to other kinds of love (friendship, family, serving your community).

Overall, I think you could work with this focus, but I would try to go beyond paraphrasing the Bible. Good luck with the assignment and keep writing! :)




Codayy says...


Thanks for the review! Alright, I'm gonna respond to some things here.

Yeah, I don't like the abstract concept of love either as far as writing it goes for the reasons you said. The problem was (ironically) that was the concept I coulf focus due t



Codayy says...


o geez, sorry about that.


Thanks for the review! Alright, I'm gonna respond to some things here.

Yeah, I don't like the abstract concept of love either as far as writing it goes for the reasons you said. The problem was (ironically) that was the concept I could focus on due to teacher instruction. I knew I was going to hit cliches, but I tried to make it less cliched.

Then the Corinthian's copy issue. Yeah, I realized that was a problem. The lack of time I had in this was main reason for this. Maybe I should've revised it myself, but that's why posted here. I was able to fix mistakes.

I change a few bits, if you bits if you look back, but some of it was unchanged. Why? Envy and pride are really hard to get down correctly. Pride and envy are rather to nail down in my opinion. Whatever I think seems really unnatural, offputting, or cheezy. But leaving it as it is does make the line unoriginal, but it's correct and doesn't sound too off from the poem. Another reason for this is, that perfect lives and times don't have a concrete definition, and are probably not perfect. How can I make imagery (or anybody) describe perfect when only Love knows the answer.

The last suggestion is a risk. Although, it can deepen the depth of the poem, the overall meaning may get lost in it. Your suggestion is or going the next step, or just ruining the poem. My poem got the basic idea out, and that's all it was meant to accomplish (because of class instruction).

Anyways, thank you for helping me out on the poem.



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Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:35 am
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Shoneja123 says...



Great project! I definitely see I Corinthians as your road map. I also really liked the first line. (I'm a sucker for a broad vocabulary). Definitely the sort of love we all hope to find someday, and to hang onto once we've found it!

Cheers,

Shoneja123




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Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:19 am
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NecobellaTor wrote a review...



A wonderful take on the meaning and essence of love!

"Love doesn't get tempered easily by wrongs, but doesn't celebrate sins." An eleven-word line with a thousand meanings! It tells how love makes one overlook the mistakes of others but not out of weakness; out of commonsense, niceness and decency. I'm anything but a missionary, but actually that line is evocative of a biblical proverb attributed to good old King Solomon saying : "Love covers all wrongs".

Love does teach 'positive' humility and modesty, but does not teach 'full-on submission'. That is, a lover should not be happy when others wrong him. He should forgive but not let others stamp over him.

That's how I actually read that line in your stanza. Maybe you didn't mean that, but that's how I see it, after all ;)

Love is kindness, love is patience, love is wealth, love is modesty, love is tolerance - that's what your poem is all about. A 'true' lover sees the world in shades of pink. A true lover loves unconditionally, always gives, never hates, never envies.

In a nutshell, All you need is love as the Beatles said :D

I give your poem a 9/10. Good job, buddy!





One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
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