Young Writers Society

I really love reading works that tie in the holocaust, so this was a must when I saw that it dealt with that. Immediately I began thinking of the movie "The boy in the striped pajamas", not sure if it sounds familiar to you.
I really like how you made the contrast between the two girls, Janie and Anne, yet made them seem so similar.
I think the lines that stuck out the most to me was "My daddy's a soldier; My daddy's a fighter". While soldiers can be viewed as fighters, it insinuates that they are on completely different sides of the spectrum. Very interesting.
I'll have to read more of your works, I hope you update again soon!
Have a good night!

I like this poem a lot. It really shows the clash of how the German people and the Jewish were really, almost the same, but both suffered from it.

Jewish people lost their friends, and were hunted down, while young Germans were almost brainwashed into accepting it, or losing their jewish friends. I really enjoy how this is written, I feel like it really fits what the site is almost looking for, you know?

Over all, a really good addition, and I can't wait to see more of these works from you.

Hey there CHRISSY321! CelticThunder1438 here to review your work! Let me just say I really liked this poem/ story! I am new at poetry myself, so I am inspired by the smallest things I am and Irish-Canadian myself and love foreign countries. I loved how you port trade how everybody is the same. The English always thought of the Irish as slaves, cattle to be sold. Nothing more. Yet in reality they were human beings. The same God created the English and the Irish, even though they are nothing alike. If the world would just realize we are equal and all should have the same rights, this world would be a better one. \

I loved how you said the whole "I miss my family and friend" at the end. That was just beautiful. And I loved how they were young still kinda innocent little 9 year old girls. It shows the world still has some innocence to it, even if that is very little.
Anyways, GREAT POEM! Keep up the fighting for peace, words can do GREAT things!!

~ Selina or CelticThunder1438 or Seliter whichever you prefer

This was so beautiful i cant say anything that will do justice to the beauty of the work. so i'm just gonna say keep up!

I usually don't even pay attention to poetry, but this title made me wonder what it was about so I decided to give it a read. I'm a fan of historical fiction (the World Wars especially) and I really enjoyed this! Nice job XD

Hey Chrissy!

So, I know we both had to do a two voice poem. Can you review mine?

Also, I don't really see any problems in this. I just think it is very powerful, as it should be. But, like one other reviewer said, when you used the same line, it got a little confusing. But, no worries, that's just how Mrs. Rhodes asked and preferred for it to be.

But, I think this may be one of your "better" ones. As in poems/stories. I L<3VE poems. As I write so many of them and is rare that I post anything else except poems. Lol.

Anyway, I love the points of views. I also like the fact they were friends and could relate so well. Because, really, Jews were just as human as Germans. I also like the fact that you added that Anne lived in a hut, and I assumed it was a ghetto. I made mine living in a concentration camp which I am assuming many people also did. But, I love the fact you made the poem your own and had fun with it. I did as well. I also love that you naturally have the innate talent to make a poem flow and have rhythm and make sense.

Great job! It's been fun reviewing!
~Tiff

Hello CaptitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin on how two way poems are on my top list of favorite poem types. i enjoyed the end, where both the girl's thoughts are the same but they are in the different situations throughout the poem. Also how there is a beat (in a sense).

Although for what Holy had said below, i would agree to what Holy had said. Since that is the only thing needed fix in this poems; in most poems, there at least like 2 mistakes within there and i try to help the person to fix them. Also I love poems that relate to anything relating to history since i am reading about the Holocaust and i am (trying) to read Anne Frank's Diary, which i find very knowing about what was happening in that time period.

All and all, i think that poem is amazing and sorry for the rambling since that is my way of saying how awesome a poem is.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hello Chrissy!

I really like this. In fact, I think this would make a great spoken word poem. I especially like that it was done from the POV of children- I came in thinking that this was going to have a lot of different opinions from the two perspectives, but there wasn't many, because the two kids don't care about their differences in culture, and mainly focused on the things they had in common, and the things that were happening to both of them due to the holocuast. Looking at your title now, I see that that was entirely your intention!

Really the only thing I wanted to mention was your formatting, which is kind of cool, but in some places it's not as strong as it could be, I don't think.

My name is Anne

I am a nine year old girl. I am a nine year old girl

Hi Chrissy!

I love the idea of this poem, and the things that you compared and contrasted make it very real. I especially like the comparison between the girls' mothers. That really hits it home for me.

The formatting is a little rough because a lot of the lines don't match up to their counterparts. I know there are some issues with the YWS System, but I think you should try to match them up a little bit better.

When you say "My daddy's a fighter", what does that mean? Does he fight against the soldiers? That was unclear to me, but perhaps it would be obvious to someone who knows more about WWII.

Instead of saying "My Jewish friend is gone" , I would suggest "My Jewish friend has been taken away" so that it matches up with the other sentence.

In the last, instead of "I hope everything will someday be okay again", it should be "I hope everything will be okay again someday".

Overall, not much to edit. Nice job on this poem, and if you want to learn more about WWII, I would highly recommend "Rose Under Fire" by Elizabeth Wein.

-ClippedWings