z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The future

by Carlito


old & deleted <3


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485 Reviews


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Sun Apr 10, 2016 8:19 pm
Elijah wrote a review...



I need to sing some parts faster than other parts which made it weird and odd while i was singing so.XD Overall,amazing song for when someone is in love.Personally you because you write it for your own self and it is seen that you express your true feelings this way.The sweet love we can all relate to.Amazing work!Expression love and passion.




Carlito says...


If I were to sing it, some parts would be a bit faster than other parts. (the "chorus" is slower than the verses.) But thanks for reading and commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)



Elijah says...


Yes,there are always different ways to sing a song!
I did not waste my time reading/singing this.You are welcome!



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Sun Apr 03, 2016 12:55 am
XxXTheSwordsmanXxX wrote a review...



Greetings,

This was a wonderfully sweet song. From a hear that is happy and excited about being in love. I have almost no ability with lyrics and I am glad that there are people out there that have the ability to write something as beautiful as this when I can't.

There is a small issue with rhythm. Some of your lines don't keep the same tempo. I end up having to sing those faster and more jumbled than some of the others. maybe look at using some words with a few less syllables.

I think that this was a great piece and that you should continue to pursue this skill of yours. There are a lot of musicians out there that need lyricists so that they can actually be successful. You would be surprised how many of them there actually are.

Thank you for sharing this and I hope to see more from you in the future,

Happy Writing!




Carlito says...


Thank you for the review! :D



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Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:46 pm
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Soulfulwriter wrote a review...



This is the kind of poems that I steal...err umm...borrow when I can't think of what to tell my boyfriend. But, don't worry...it is good, but it's your work so I won't...borrow it from you.

Overall, I love how it is. How you feel about the person is really expressed in the poem. (Not going to ste....borrow it lol) Everything oozes romance and love and all that jazz that makes you feel the butterflies or whatever insects in your tummy.

Good job.




Carlito says...


Haha I'm glad you enjoyed it :D




If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion.
— Noam Chomsky