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139,514 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Caaaadi. Hi. I'm here to review your poetry! <3
Oh, wow. Short, sweet and simple. I love it! I like how you're talking about a minstrel boy, a jester. It's a very lovely image, and I adore it. I really, really love how you describe him and the way he spins his tales. How different they can be, how he can make people laugh or cry, or even mad. How he switches between clear and then slurred, how he's fit "for any king". XD I like how you tell us he stirs things up, how he grants all these emotions, along with the musical instruments. And then you gone on to stay it's good fortune to have heard him. I love that. <3 You've done very well with this one. It's adorable, sweet and I can't help but love it! I know I've said that before, but I just have to say it again. XD
Finally, I really liked the imagery I get from reading this beautiful poem. It's lovely, and I like what you've done with it! Sooo, overall, you have a wonderfully beautiful, very interesting poem here. And I just have to say thank you for the beautiful work! I definitely like it, in fact, I love it, and I am most definitely going to click like!
Remember, Cadi; Keep it up and never stop writing! <3
~Scar
CaT!,
This will be short because you've written a beautiful little poem here! I agree with Sabre that your second stanza needs a couple more lines if only because it throws off your whole rhythm for the poem. Your final line is actually what gets to me though, you end so sharply after some wonderful rhyme that it's caught out. I'm stunned and left hanging, expecting more to come, but it's not going to. I think you need a slightly longer line "my --- minstrel boy" is what I think I could expect, just a one word description to help with the rhythm of the poem.
Otherwise, you use rhyme, imagery and a very sweet idea terribly well. I particularly enjoy the "now clear, now quite slurred" because it's very tactile, I can see/hear/feel it happening.
Never ever say you're not a poet!
♥
I think I saw the first draft to this, maybe in your NaPo or one of the poetry sessions? Either way, the phrase 'My Minstrel Boy' must be memorable/ catchy enough so good choice!
My minstrel boy spins gold with words, <<< It may just be that I've read far too many myths lately but I'd love to see a reference to Rumplestiltskin and the miller's daughter.
Sober, casual, or absurd,
He lines them up, and then they sing
And every syllable takes wing
Each sweeter than a choral bird. <<< The rhythm is beautiful, there's a lovely lyrical base to this which makes me think I should take back my last comment. Only do it if you can do so without spoiling the structure you've got going on.
Actually I'm going to stop there because I really love this and I don't have much to say about any of it. You could maybe use an extra line or two for the second stanza and give us a little more imagery here and there - there's a lot of emotions and not so many physical images or actions or sounds. Other than that though, I don't have anything to suggest. Great work!
Heather xxx
Yes, it was in my NaPo thread ^^ One of two I liked enough to drag up to actual Lit Work status. I'm glad you like it - thanks for the review. x
This is lovely. I really enjoyed it.
Each line is rather wonderful, and I don't really have much to suggest.
'And every syllable takes wing' I think you need an extra syllable in there, I had to read syllable quite slowly and disjointedly in my head to make it work
He'll speak, now clearly, now quite slurred,
The tone selected as preferred.
A jester fit for any king,
My minstrel boy.
Lovely verse- I think you need a rhyme for King? Something like his words will dance and leap and ring? Or something?
And then another slurred preferred word?
The structure was sort of funny because it changed with each verse, which was fine but I'd have done every verse with the same structure as the last one.
But, I thought this was great. It really had a nice old-fashioned feel, it dragged you back in time and you can really imagine listening to this minstrel,
I love this. You're a great poet.
If you're interested in the structure, it's called a rondeau. In Flanders Fields is probably the most famous example of it - I highly recommend looking that one up!
Thanks... Looked that up and it's very cool. Going to try and write one now...
I like how the phrase "my minstrel boy" is repeated throughout this poem, however, they don't quite mesh with your rhythmic scheme. Perhaps lengthen "My minstrel boy" to something like "My laughing minstrel boy," or something else that has two syllables. Your rhythmic scheme and your rhyme scheme are wonderful, I like how they aren't precisely identical, rather they fit together in a pleasing way. Keep up the good work!