by Busheldood

Published March 29, 2011

In Poems

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
MissRockers
Review
MissRockers wrote a review Review · Mar 30, 2011

Wow!!!! You don't know how much I can relate to this!!! I enjoyed reading this very much. Although, I do agree with the other comments, I think the poem could have used more details, more emotions, and it could have been a bit longer.
I noticed that in the third stanza, you used "off" twice. Maybe you can think of another word to replace "off", since it comes at the end of both lines. I think that, you could have added some commas, and periods. For instance in the first stanza....
I'll never forget how much I loved you;
I'll never forget how much I cared.
I'll never forget how special I felt
Whenever I saw that you were there.


My favorite lines are:
I'll never forget how special I felt
Whenever I saw that you were there.

Please keep writing, and expressing your emotions!

User avatar
Busheldood
Comment
Busheldood commented Comment · Mar 30, 2011

thanks guys! I did try and make it flow better but found it was quite dificult haha :$ thanx for the comments! ;)

User avatar
Cassie143
Comment
Cassie143 commented Comment · Mar 30, 2011

your poem is fantastic i love it!
there are a couple of parts that don’t flow and nicely as the rest but other than that is was great
i personally like the first 4 lines best
keep up the good work :]

Random avatar
AdamBH
Review
AdamBH wrote a review Review · Mar 30, 2011

I love your poem, but i think you could definitely use some imagery to make it more emotional. Then we'll talk XD. But your technique is very good, in my opinion. Keep writing! :D



Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher