viii - forgotten

by Brigadier

Published March 24, 2016

In e. ten more random poems

not quite sure of the road we're on this time
but love will soon come out to meet us in
some strange field on the next side of 

the galaxy. i'd like a vulcan priest to
be there at our matrimonial thing.

i guess that's the right word to
describe it, something long
like the sort of word your
family used while judg-

ing me. maybe i was
not the best choice
but at that point
we didn't have 

many things
to choose
from or
do you
not 

know
of the last
time we met?

Comments & reviews · 3
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1swimgirl
Review
1swimgirl wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2016

This poem is really cool!!! I love the idea of it, but I don't really understand what it is about. Some poems I think though are meant to be not understood. Maybe this has some metaphorical meaning to it? I don't know but I really like it and it is very interesting! Keep up all the hard work! Can't wait to see what else you write!

I thought the poem meaning was pretty obvious based on my description and some of the answers o had given to other reviewers. It's always helpful after completing a critique to check out the reviewers. They might have asked the same question and the author may have already answered. The explanation is better in my other two comments but here it goes anywayd.
This was a chapter from my book about some 60s era spies and a secret formula. It was a code going from one person to another and numbers was the name of the secret project. The sounds coincided with it being typed and the other sounds were supposed to be shots, like gunfire.
Hope that clears up any confusion.
Lizzy

User avatar
Rascalover
Review
Rascalover wrote a review Review · Mar 25, 2016

Hi!!
This is a really interesting poem idea, and I love how the stanzas are separated. I just can't wrap my mind around what this poem is about. Clearly it has something to do with numbers, but I was trying to find some underlying meaning in the ending. Why is the third zero word half cut off? Why is it the only one that way? I didn't even know they were on the phone with an operator. Maybe, I'm not cut out to review poems, but I liked this one so much I wanted to know more about it.

Keep up the awesome work,
<3 Rascalover

I have borrowed the explanation from my other review so that might clear up some confusion. The operator was there because this was from my James Bond era chapter on recruiting spies. It's a really weird book but I just thought I should publish the poem before I publish the chapter.
Thanks for the review.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs

"I don't think you recognized the reason for the repeating. This was for a spy novel that got scrapped and is now being told as flashbacks. What happened with the disconnecting can be told through the sounds heard by the one person on the end of the line. The last row of clicks followed by a bang was meant as a gunshot. The first one talking was meant as this scientist and he was reading a code to his assistant over the telephone. And I can't really say what the code was but she had to recognize the pattern because he got killed halfway through the last line. I might have written this is a complicated way but it did have simple concept behind it."

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Spartan118
Review
Spartan118 wrote a review Review · Mar 25, 2016

I'm going to be reviewIng your poem today.
The beginning is so true numbers are everywhere and there's no escaping that fact. The middle repeats the beginning in a way but it's also different somehow. The ending was funny cause the operator hung up on the caller or the line was disconnected. I liked the poem cause it has a lot of truth to it.
I hope you have a wonderful day, evening, morning, or night. Keep up the good work and I hope to see more of your work in the future.

I don't think you recognized the reason for the repeating. This was for a spy novel that got scrapped and is now being told as flashbacks. What happened with the disconnecting can be told through the sounds heard by the one person on the end of the line. The last row of clicks followed by a bang was meant as a gunshot. The first one talking was meant as this scientist and he was reading a code to his assistant over the telephone. And I can't really say what the code was but she had to recognize the pattern because he got killed halfway through the last line. I might have written this is a complicated way but it did have simple concept behind it.
Thanks for the review.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs

Oh yea and I am a very oblivious person so it takes time to sink in unless explained and thank you for the explanation.



Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
— LCDR Data