hullo, Lizz~
apologies for how short this review is going to be--life's got me in a twist so my brain is very scattered as of currently--but i'll try my best to be helpful!
i'm not super-familiar with Doctor Who--i've seen half of the first season--but i do know that the doctor regenerates quite often, so maybe that's something to go by at least. the exasperation of the narrator comes across pretty neatly, but the statements ['the Doctor is dying' + 'Damn it the Doctor...'] are so matter-of-fact that it tinges the entire poem with this light, quirky bitterness. you start with this fact; you end with this fact, and it ties the piece together quite nicely. what i understood was:
- that the poem talks about how anticlimactic certain plot elements can be,
- as well as the recurrent deaths of minor characters to evoke emotional responses from audiences.
and in doing this it actually probes into a deeper topic--that is, the importance of side characters, who are more often than not better fleshed-out or more likeable than the main characters/have the potential to be better fleshed-out. i think the best example for this is in the line: '...Benton who we don't pay nearly enough'. [in passing--it ought to be *whom.]
in terms of voice, i think this is excellent. i do feel, though, that the voice does not get across as well when you read the poem in one go--in fact, the range of emotions came across more strongly when i broke the poem down and reread it. while i appreciate how the lack of punctuation are playing with stream-of-consciousness and lending the narrative the air of a rant, do consider breaking this up a little? it's a lot to take in at once, especially when it runs along with no pauses for the reader to catch a breath!
there is some repetition--i'm not sure how i feel about this--but it does cause the writing to flag. 'lasted the longest', 'stayed a bit...' makes the piece feel monotone and slurred simultaneously. play with this a bit? it's quite an interesting piece, one that i feel has value both as a death count for the fandom and also touches a more three-dimensional topic: the media. pretty meta. i like it.
keep writing! keep it up!
hoped this helped, if a little~
~pomp x
Points: 27
Reviews: 396
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