Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
My grandmother informs me of very many things
Some are taken as truth
Others as mere suggestion
Her advice comes from what I would call a book
The book of how to be a lady
By grandmother and namesake
She puts long hair near the top of the list
But inside/outside qualities come first
A lady must be beautiful inside/outside
But sadly for I, neither can apply
I am by no means beautiful
despite the shouts and cries of family and friends
Beauty inside exists not
because for that one must be nice and kind
each and every time
and I'm often not
Dresses can be worn often
but not necessarily
Finally I have found something
to which I can partially agree
What? Trade them in for skirts
even bloomers maybe
But never ever where shorts above the knee
How could I have missed this line before?
I never where dresses, even on the holidays
By all of these rules and means
I must not be a lady
that would make my grandmother proud
Here I trade in my dresses for some jeans
change those fancy blouses for some plain tees
discard of the hair ribbons and bows
and cut a piece of twine from that big roll
She loves girls to have long hair
and urges me often to keep it long
and have bunches and bunches of braids
At this point I take a knife from a scabbard and slice off my long braids
Let's see what else has she said
Oh yes
Every lady must have one good set of earrings
I can actually agree with this statement I see
Keep a slim figure
Well that time has since passed
I can't be a size three when I believe
my size is nearing 14
It's too late to start wearing a corset
Unless I really want to die
from the damage of breaking bones
on my inside
Is the inside damage necessary
for the outside beauty that so many envy
It was never me to want such things
I can't even follow the book on how to be a lady
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139,240 Literary Works • 672,520 Reviews
Hello there. I really love this work because it shows that in society we have one standard for women and we give them no change to be anything different and be what they are born to be. The example with the long hair is a proper and tipical one to show us that women 'needs' to be have long beautiful hair and not cut it too short so they do not look like men. I can not say I have any compains about this work. As a poetry, this does not need a proper punctuation so this is not an issue here.
I am glad someone had written something even so short about this matter. Books like that do not need to exist because no book can tell you what you need to be. Only one thing that I found while reading:
It needs to be 'wear' not 'where'.
This is all with my 'complains' and comments.
Good job and keep on writing.
I've really been deciding how to reply to these reviews but I felt yours was the easiest. I meant this half as humor and half as realistic. I mean obviously I'm not taking a knife from my belt and slicing off my hair. I've been tempted too but haven't so far.
I also knew upon writing this poem, it wouldn't be interpreted as humor because no one thinks like I do. My opinions on some things are a bit controversial and I try to recognize all sides. Hopefully that side of thought was conveyed in this poem.
If it wasn't I'll be writing a new version.
Thanks for the Review!
Lizzy
I think you had done your job writing this story well enough. At least this is what I think.
I see the point of this point of the poem for the most part. I Mean I assume you're wrtiting about how women are pigen held in this sexist form of 'being a woman'. It may also be interpreted as you don't have to follow the 'rules' soicety sets to be a woman. Either way it's a good message to get in a short format like this. I personly can't relate since, well I'm a guy that had an alright life but none the less it's still a good message. The poem itself looks relativly fine. The structure looks alright, some lines seem odly short compared to others I mean I don't know why theres one line with only three words. Also the rymes were here and there so that cool. Personally I liked this poem so keep writing
It clearly signifies what you want to say in this stuff. A writer is always judged on the way not only he/she writes but also his/her capacity to showcase his/her feelings and emotions. A reader should understand the situation and should be able to relate it to his/her very own life. And this is what I really like in your poetry.
Coming to the poem, it's the rule of nature where outside beauty is given more importance. But when it comes to self satisfaction all we need is inner beauty. Its not easy to become a perfect lady in the eyes of the society. And when you know you are failing to be one, that is when life tests you.
An interesting topic and you have showcased it very well.
Hi lizzybookclubqueen1, acm here for a review! From the beginning, I could really understand the character in the poem. I feel like a lot of beauty standards can be pushed down on girls-- from a family member, friend, or just the media. Outer beauty is all around, but to find inner beauty, you have to dig deeper.
The only thing I really noticed in the poem was the lack of punctuation. It's something that I struggle with myself because I start overthinking the poem and getting overwhelmed by all of the different ways it could be read. Anyways, my point is that if you read the poem aloud, or just simple add a comma here or there when you feel like there should be a pause, the poem can start to flow really well.
The only other thing I saw was a small nitpick:
Here, you use the actual number in the second line, where you spell it out in the first. I suggest making them both spelled out, or both in digits so it is consistent.
Other than that, I thought the poem was perfect. It started with a line that grabbed my attention, and then kept me interested throughout the whole poem. It ended with a powerful measure, and didn't seem forced. I can't wait to read more of your poetry!
I really really like the emotion and the message in this poem. This sort of stuff has been a theme of a lot of my poetry lately so it was nice to stumble upon someone else trying to articulate some of the angst of being a woman (I just uploaded two poems, Architects and Friday Uprising, about gender so you can check them out if you like
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"But sadly for I, neither can apply"
This line feels slightly forced. The rhyme doesn't really add to it and I feel the word me would be better here.
"Beauty inside exists not
because for that one must be nice and kind
each and every time
and I'm often not"
With this stanza, I absolutely love the last three lines. It's a little bit cheeky, a little bit shrugging of the shoulder, you can imagine it in a singsong voice or a bit regretful. The first line, however, I think needs reordering. 'Beauty inside exists not' just sounds clumsy, and then there's the awkward repetition of not at the end of the first and fourth lines which I feel takes away from the impact of the fourth line.
One thing I think would really improve this poem would be to break it up into stanzas with spaces between them and to use full stops and commas at the end of some of the sentences. This would really give your reader the opportunity to have a breather. I would break this up into stanzas of four lines (when you read it through I think you were doing that subconsciously, but without leaving lines) and separate it into a few sentences.
The last two lines are rather nice, because while your narrator does not wish to be a lady, she is also acutely aware that she is failing to be a lady, which is quite an interesting tension.