Young Writers Society

King Here
Hello there. I really love this work because it shows that in society we have one standard for women and we give them no change to be anything different and be what they are born to be. The example with the long hair is a proper and tipical one to show us that women 'needs' to be have long beautiful hair and not cut it too short so they do not look like men. I can not say I have any compains about this work. As a poetry, this does not need a proper punctuation so this is not an issue here.
I am glad someone had written something even so short about this matter. Books like that do not need to exist because no book can tell you what you need to be. Only one thing that I found while reading:

I never where dresses, even on the holidays.

I see the point of this point of the poem for the most part. I Mean I assume you're wrtiting about how women are pigen held in this sexist form of 'being a woman'. It may also be interpreted as you don't have to follow the 'rules' soicety sets to be a woman. Either way it's a good message to get in a short format like this. I personly can't relate since, well I'm a guy that had an alright life but none the less it's still a good message. The poem itself looks relativly fine. The structure looks alright, some lines seem odly short compared to others I mean I don't know why theres one line with only three words. Also the rymes were here and there so that cool. Personally I liked this poem so keep writing

It clearly signifies what you want to say in this stuff. A writer is always judged on the way not only he/she writes but also his/her capacity to showcase his/her feelings and emotions. A reader should understand the situation and should be able to relate it to his/her very own life. And this is what I really like in your poetry.
Coming to the poem, it's the rule of nature where outside beauty is given more importance. But when it comes to self satisfaction all we need is inner beauty. Its not easy to become a perfect lady in the eyes of the society. And when you know you are failing to be one, that is when life tests you.
An interesting topic and you have showcased it very well.

Hi lizzybookclubqueen1, acm here for a review! From the beginning, I could really understand the character in the poem. I feel like a lot of beauty standards can be pushed down on girls-- from a family member, friend, or just the media. Outer beauty is all around, but to find inner beauty, you have to dig deeper.

The only thing I really noticed in the poem was the lack of punctuation. It's something that I struggle with myself because I start overthinking the poem and getting overwhelmed by all of the different ways it could be read. Anyways, my point is that if you read the poem aloud, or just simple add a comma here or there when you feel like there should be a pause, the poem can start to flow really well.

The only other thing I saw was a small nitpick:

I can't be a size three when I believe
my size is nearing 14

I really really like the emotion and the message in this poem. This sort of stuff has been a theme of a lot of my poetry lately so it was nice to stumble upon someone else trying to articulate some of the angst of being a woman (I just uploaded two poems, Architects and Friday Uprising, about gender so you can check them out if you like )

"But sadly for I, neither can apply"

This line feels slightly forced. The rhyme doesn't really add to it and I feel the word me would be better here.

"Beauty inside exists not

because for that one must be nice and kind

each and every time

and I'm often not"

With this stanza, I absolutely love the last three lines. It's a little bit cheeky, a little bit shrugging of the shoulder, you can imagine it in a singsong voice or a bit regretful. The first line, however, I think needs reordering. 'Beauty inside exists not' just sounds clumsy, and then there's the awkward repetition of not at the end of the first and fourth lines which I feel takes away from the impact of the fourth line.

One thing I think would really improve this poem would be to break it up into stanzas with spaces between them and to use full stops and commas at the end of some of the sentences. This would really give your reader the opportunity to have a breather. I would break this up into stanzas of four lines (when you read it through I think you were doing that subconsciously, but without leaving lines) and separate it into a few sentences.

The last two lines are rather nice, because while your narrator does not wish to be a lady, she is also acutely aware that she is failing to be a lady, which is quite an interesting tension.