I am trapped in the people i know
Their familiarity suffocates me
Their smiles and small talk a cacophony of stimuli I can't handle
Moving on to strangers in an unknown place
And I find peace in the solitude
Of being a loose end
I find my freedom in non-commitment
I would rather be a random in the midst of a crowd
than be a link of human in a chainmail world
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
Thanks for writing this. I couldn’t put boredom into words but you did it wonderfully. Great job. There are boring people all over and I like how this portrays the boredom you get from these people as “death” (you didn’t say it like that but I felt like you had implied it) and I definitely feel the struggle in the last two lines of the poem. The struggle to break free of this boring world and just be a free spirit in a world full of boring “chains on the ground” type of people. Thank you for writing this!! 8/10
~Cheers!!
Thanks for writing this. I couldn’t put boredom into words but you did it wonderfully. Great job. There are boring people all over and I like how this portrays the boredom you get from these people as “death” (you didn’t say it like that but I felt like you had implied it) and I definitely feel the struggle in the last two lines of the poem. The struggle to break free of this boring world and just be a free spirit in a world full of boring “chains on the ground” type of people. Thank you for writing this!! 8/10
~Cheers!!
I love the content ..very clearly expressed ..well I also want to be "random in the midst of crowd " well done
Thanks for writing this. I couldn’t put boredom into words but you did it wonderfully. Great job. There are boring people all over and I like how this portrays the boredom you get from these people as “death” (you didn’t say it like that but I felt like you had implied it) and I definitely feel the struggle in the last two lines of the poem. The struggle to break free of this boring world and just be a free spirit in a world full of boring “chains on the ground” type of people. Thank you for writing this!! 8/10
~Cheers!!
Thanks for writing this. I couldn’t put boredom into words but you did it wonderfully. Great job. There are boring people all over and I like how this portrays the boredom you get from these people as “death” (you didn’t say it like that but I felt like you had implied it) and I definitely feel the struggle in the last two lines of the poem. The struggle to break free of this boring world and just be a free spirit in a world full of boring “chains on the ground” type of people. Thank you for writing this!! 8/10
~Cheers!!
Dude, I love the content, but punctuation is your frieeeend!! (That's just a personal opinion though. I over puntualize...) The line "I find peace in the solitude" speaks to me. I'm not opposed to mingling with people, but I do find being alone and free works better for me.
Great poem for the lone wolves of the world.
Thanks for sharing this poem concerning the boredom that can ensue if one associates with a boring group of people. Unfortunately, we might even make the mistake of marrying someone whose idea of an interesting conversation involves either gossip or else a heated argument over trivia in order to fill in the inevitable silence generated by a thoughtless vacuum.
Such a lifelong, till-merciful-death-do-us-part companion, might even perceive any deep subject as a serious threat to her synaptic integrity or as potentially injurious to her primeval brain. That can prove far worse than being alone. That is veritable psychological torture. So yes, I sympathize. It definitely is better to be around people we don't know or who speak of things that we learn from than to be in such a situation.
I love the way you use the the metaphor of a chain mail world. Nice writing! Look forward to reading more.
Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If i offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)
"I am trapped in the people i know" Capital 'I'
"Their smiles and small talk a cacophony of stimuli i cant handle" Well the comma train won't leave the station but the misspelling train will. Capital 'I' 'can't' the apostrophe is needed.
"And i find peace in the solitude" Capital 'I'.
From what I can see you don't have any other grammar mistakes, and nothing is wrong with the commas. Keep up the writing, have a good day.