My Sister

By the first verse I already knew that you are a very talented writer. You immediately give the reader something to visualize in their mind and they metaphor you use is so descriptive. I can really relate to this because I myself have a sister. You use such great similes/metaphors all throughout the poem and I love how you build a picture of your sister in the reader's mind line by line. Even if your replaced "sister" with any family member (mother, father, brother) it would still work perfectly and it shows the reader how you feel and how they probably feel about their own siblings. I know I mentioned this before, but the first verse:

"My sister has almond eyes, they're the color of roasted coffee beans and when she smiles they smile too"

Has just got me amazed. Now, I'll be honest, poetry isn't my favorite genre but your poem is definitely one of my favorite pieces of writing (not just poetry!). The way you right has just gotten me enraptured and I am so glad I found this amazing piece of writing! Amazing job!

Oh my God! this poem was impressive,I have a brother.I now got the feeling he must have got.
I always used to call him an overprotective brother,But having a sibling,this is how one must feel.I had goose flesh reading this.

On reading these lines, I got my sibling's voice in my head:

"Just as she is an artwork, she is also a person

Not just a pair of legs for you to scan with greedy eyes

Not just a figure for you to whistle at and invite to your room

Not just a doll for you to steal away

She's a person, a sister, a daughter, a friend

Not an object for you to run your eyes over

Like greedy hands, touching her from a distance

So you'd best keep your eyes to yourself, because my sister is not yours''

The poem spoke about respecting women and threatening the demons for a girls flesh.Your work is way more appreciative.I liked it a hell of a lot.Looking forward for more.Thanks for such an amazing work.This goes to all the sisters.

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this poem bout how a sibling feels that a sister should be treated. It expresses very nicely how any normal person would feel about a mother, a friend or women or other persons in general.

I like the way that the strong disapproval is expressed via the repetition of “My sister is not...” it is an excellent way to emphasize just how strongly the speaker feels about it. I agree wholeheartedly that a woman should not be viewed simply as an object foe sexual gratification and it is commendable that you choose to point this out via poetry

The following lines are beautiful:

"My sister has almond eyes, they're the color of roasted coffee beans and when she smiles they smile too

Her smile is easy and genuine, always just under the surface and ready to appear."

Since circumstantial specifics aren’t provided, the speaker can be imagined to be addressing someone or perhaps a group of people who have indicated that they are viewing the sister as an object to satisfy lust and not a human being to be shown consideration, or perhaps a sister’s boyfriend or husband who shows these tendencies. Many possibilities such as the disapproval of a sister’s chosen lifestyle can be considered.

I found the description of the common man as a lecherous, creature always motivated by lust a bit unfair. This comes across as a negative view of men in general.


....but it is not for the common man passing by

Then the poem describes what is thought to be a common man:

a man who see legs and whistles and invites to rooms.

a man who sees dolls and pursues them with molestation purposes

a man whose eyes run over things

a man with greedy hands that yearn to touch flesh at a distance

It is this description of the so-called common man that makes the poem controversial.
In any case, a very interesting read and I look forward to reading more of your work.


Suggestions

Hair that has faded from being blue made me pause since I have never encountered anyone with blue hair that can fade or looks like a river under the sun.

Another expression that made me pause is that her beauty is “awing”.

Although it is awing it isn’t for the common man?

How is he beauty awing so that it is liable to cause so much sexual arousal in a common man is the question? Please note that arousal at the sight of a woman’s exposed body is a natural male reaction. It is the way that the Good Lord chose to make man. Since this is common knowledge, it is fair to assume that a woman who exposes her body and expects zero reaction is not in full contact with reality or else might be seeking attention or enjoys frustrating men.

i love the vibes of this poem. so empowering. and also talking about a subject i am very passionate about.
a little comment though~just a thought~ the shift from speaking about how your sister is beautiful and how she's not for the common man. it could have been a little more transitional.
keep writing! you're great!