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139,308 Literary Works • 672,528 Reviews
Review time. Warning: I am feeling blunt right now and have a ton to say.
Love the ryrhm you established, it's float and pretty and makes good sense with the wording.
I have a couple suggestions however, and you may do with them as you wish. My pet peeve of poetry is capitalization of the first line, it makes it look so much more professional! Also, all the words in your title should be capitalized,ex. This In-Between Place. Instead of this in-between place. It just looks a lot more put together with that done.
That being said, there isn't much else I would change, the whole thing flows very nicely.
Keep on a going!
-Caroline
I love the rhythm of the poem that is given by its shape, italics and space, it mimics the tone and theme of the poem, its slow, relaxed and empty in acceptance of life.
It's a bit vague, and I'm not sure whether its supposed to be a love poem? because you mention 'your hand in mine' and 'us' , and 'dawning,' 'revelation.' Is it the dawning of love for one another that frees the 'us' into this acceptance?
This is a great poem of yours. I really enjoyed it. ^-^