Young Writers Society

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

I saw that this was still in the Green Room, which is reasonable because even I am intimidated to review this because it is so lovely and flawless, but I will do my best to serve this wonderful poem. The main complaint I have for the piece is the folklore, in a way.

I don't hate the folklore being in the piece in itself since that's the main compartment, rather that some of these are not as well-known and not everyone would be getting the references. Sure, Romeo and Juliet are pretty well known, but what about the others? You may, and some may, but I'd like a bit more context clues as to who these people are (they seem to be couples involved in fables or famous works), but more-so their background.

The flow in this piece is actually spectacular and I love how you incorporate the speaker and what seems to be their significant other into the poem as well. All of these lines are so beautifully put, and I have to say that I can barely even decipher which stanza is my least favorite, but I'm going to have to go with the second. Or at least the line, "Beloved, because our story is old" is one that I don't particularly like. How is it old? What is it old like? I also like how the stories almost seem to be reincarnations of each other in some way, and a portion of them seem to be tragic ones, such as Romeo and Juliet.

Overall, this poem is lovely and if you have the chance, I'd suggest editing it through the parts that are a little weaker (which is scarce) and eventually go for publishing this one? No pressure, of course, but I really loved the piece and I think it has that potential. As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, and have a wonderful day!

can I just say how much I love this, all the references to the different love stories in different cultures/languages and the language itself is so gorgeous <3 <3 <3

Hey there! An uneducated Shey here for a review!

By uneducated I mean I have no idea what the context of this poem was. HOWEVER, that does not stop me from complimenting you on all the great things you did here.

Firstly, you had stanzas. This may sound crazy, but I love when people use stanzas. This is because I find it a great injustice to poetry when the post uses one huge body of poetry to convey the message. So, in short, your stanzas already made the poem ten times better, to me anyway.

Stanzas weren't the only thing with your formatting that was so perfect. You also included only a small amount of formatting, just enough to accent the poem without taking away from the message. My opinion is that poems are best formatted in moderation, because in reality, it's not what I'm here for. I'm here for a story, not to see crazy indents and line breakers everywhere.

I know I rambled on about formatting, but I hope you keep this in mind when writing poetry in the future. Maybe, hopefully, it will be even just a bit helpful. Overall, amazing poem, and keep up the great work!

-Shey