pomegranate trees and folk songs

This is Nikayla here for a review!

You know I enjoy your poetry, scarce as it is, and this is no exception. Moving on from that, let's jump right into the review. I'm just going to go ahead and call them stanzas, as that's how I see them even though they're probably more like paragraphs in their structure. The first and second stanzas are ones that didn't pull me in right away, but I did enjoy the later stanzas in the poem. Life is an awfully broad topic, and at points, that's what this poem feels like.

I found it odd that you chose such an open topic to narrow down and describe in your own words, and I think this poem is truly unique because different people could write so many different poems about life. Following up on that, it also uses and gives a unique stance on it with all the metaphors and other sorts of figurative language that you use.

Delving further into it and analyzing more, it talks about how life is short, which adds a new aspect to it. The first stanza here talks about the hands of a clock, particularly the second hands, and how they move fast. I would have liked to see it be a comparison to the first hand of the clock, maybe a description of how the second hand is different in color, or how the hands of the clock are closing in on the speaker. Those are just some suggestions because I felt the talk about sand was a little unnecessary in this part of the poem and it was phrased a little awkwardly, so I suggest either expanding on that or taking it out, at least of this stanza.

The second stanza, however, completely grabs me into the poem and is one of my favorites from the piece. It's a rather slow start you have that takes awhile to get used to, but it's worth it once you do. I love how it talks about the days piling up and the valid thought that we don't really get to see ourselves grow old. I do wish that the first and second stanzas as well for the rest of the poem, were better connected. I kind of wish that in some way the examples you give or how you explain that life is short is more tied together.

This is just a structural issue I have with the poem, but you have four stanzas after the third that talk about how life is long, but only three stanzas that talk about how life is short. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, but I suggest making them even just to make the structure seem stronger. Another thing that I suggest that you consider doing is making the short/long be every other stanza, but those are just some suggestions that I wanted to make that may or may not make your poem stronger. I love the third stanza, but I wanted to note that 'the morning's mouth' isn't really the best wording? I wasn't all that fond of the wording of that part, but I also don't know how you would change it.

Going to do a speed-run of these last four stanzas since I didn't have anything large wrong with them. The fourth stanza was well, but I would have liked a bit more description of the sky yawning, but that's just a personal preference. The fifth stanza actually might be the strongest stanza in terms of imagery and emotional weight behind it. I wasn't the largest fan of the sixth stanza, but the seventh makes up for it. I'm not saying that it's a bad stanza, but it does feel like it drags on a bit too long and I'm going to lightly suggest that you could take it out to make it six stanzas in whole, but it works for what it is.

I hope I helped and have a great day! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. This was lovely, Autumns.

Hey there, Autumns! DrLavender here to do a review! Let's get into this!

It's short because no one lives long enough to see themselves grow up and because yesterdays don't pile up, but simply melt into one another and into one singularity.

and the rose you plucked in your dream isn't in your palm anymore.

And life's long because it's mostly an empty corridor, mostly a waiting room and it makes you wait, it makes you wait and it makes you waltz to the slowest temp of its silence.

HEELLO Autumns,
Poem about life. Life is a common subject when writing poetry. It can be interpreted in many ways, depending on the way the author sees it.

First of, I like how you included views on both how life is short and how life is long. Most poets only talk about one of the two, depending on how their feeling at the moment. Totally random, I like the font. Fancy.

"Life's long because there's plenty of time...." That struck something inside me when I read it. This line mirrors the words of a young child who knows nothing about life yet. They think there's plenty of time to do everything, just like I did when I was in elementary. Now, with the weight of school on your back, everything is jam-packed, with only a few hours of free time every week, maybe less.

Lots of people love writing about life. So many people do it, the readers kind of start to get bored on the topic. I'm not saying its not a good subject to write about- life's a very unique thing. If you like writing about it, go on ahead. But in poetry, life is so common you can find it in almost any poem. It's like romance novels.

"It's short because the second-hands are always in a hurry." I'm really bad at interpreting poems- I read them quite literally. So please forgive me when I say I have no idea what this means. Sorry! It might be the very best line in this poem, I don't know. I'm a bad reviewer.

Life is both long and short,

Night Kaizer

Gorgeous.