Silent Footsteps

Hey there Anonymous Person. It's just Lizz dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
Wish I could say something like welcome to the site but you've been here longer than me. Oh wait, happy late 3rd anniversary. *throws confetti*

I just stumbled across this review that I had started nearly a month ago. I think that I should probably finish it before the new month turns over or your piece is stuck here any longer. You are already half way out of the Green Room so it looks like this will help you the rest of the way out the door.

Some people wait until the very end of reviews to say if they like something or not. Sometimes I am that person but mostly I am not. The previous reviewer has sent their love about your poem but I didn't really 'love' it that much. It seems that there are many things I put down as normal or nothing special. I didn't dislike your poem either so my opinion is more of a neutral one. I just wanted to tell you this before I began my review, so you didn't take offence at anything I might say.

On with the review!

One thing I was slightly bothered by was the complete lack of punctuation. I know punctuation rules get stretched a bit in poetry but it is nice to occasionally see a period amid empty spaces. I would recommend the use of commas because that's a nice way to cheat at punctuation. Really all I am trying to say, is that you need to separate the thoughts in some form. At the moment they all flow together and there is not stopping point.

I do like the metaphors and comparisons because there were nicely done. I particularly liked the part about "tangled in a spidery web of anger". Except for the 'spidery' part which seemed to be a bit off. I understand it wasn't a literal spider web but I don't think the little 'y' on the end was necessary for the point. It flows nicely as 'tangled in a spider web of anger' and sounds nicer when spoken aloud.

One more thing before I leave because frankly I'm starting to run out of points. I would separate the last line of your poem into two lines. I think if you split it up into two lines after the comma, it would have a larger emotional effect on the readers. It's like lingering on a thought for a moment before continuing on. I think those are quite successful in many poems and you may want to try this idea out.

Well I guess that's about all I have for this review. Hopefully some of these short comments will be of some use to you, that is if you decide to listen to any of them.
Have a nice day.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs

Hello, Godly here for a review and happy review day!

Wow this is amazing! I love it when poems have an interesting message to them and this is one of them. This can be taken in so many ways that it makes the poem open to so many different possibilities making the reader enjoy it so much more! For example this could be seen as your responsibilities creeping up on you. You try to escape to your own world but they are always there creeping up on you no matter how hard you try. Work, life, families they are all there and you can't push them away. Another way to interpret this is time. Time creeps up on you all the time - pardon the word play -and it will get you when you least expect it. This makes the poem incredibly deep and meaningful for the reader and you earn kudos for that. The idea that you don't know the true meaning and the use of 'they' shows that it is a collection of things that loom above us. Mostly due to the pressures of society. This makes the poem deep and personal for the reader thus making it powerful and memorable for them.

Overall this is absolutely amazing and the only thing you need to add is punctuation at the nd of the sentences!

I will love to read more from you in the future, keep writing!

All the best,
Godly