Young Writers Society

Hey it's Kat here to write a review for you,

I really liked this! You started off really strong and at first I didn't get the rhythm or here but after reading it I think it flows nicely. However you might want to consider revising the last two stanzas as I feel like they were rushed and don't quite mesh with the rest of your poem. I don't understand why you capabilities certain words in the middle of sentences either. It overall it was a nice read.

Thanks for asking me to review it and if you need anymore feed back on this or any other piece you know where to get me.

Kat

nice story bro. really made my heart change its drenching panties. Kind of resentful though because i'm reminded of fleeting existence in math class. we should play overwatch sometime, i bet your hilarious.

Hey there, AnonymousPerson! I thought your poem was pretty cool, especially the subject. I love the idea of the clock, ticking away, giving the person a wider view of their whole life. They see themselves living each day the same, being bored at a desk until they die. Then the clock stops ticking, the dream ends and they decide to live their life to the full. It's an inspirational message a reminder to all of us that we should do what we want with our lives, not 'live' as zombies. One thing I'd change is the uneven stanzas. Some have 7 lines, one 6 and one 8. It made it slightly difficult to follow a beat. That's something you could experiment with, otherwise I enjoyed reading this!