Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Lyrics » Lyrical

E - Everyone

The Sun Still Rises

by AngelLily


Sometimes I smile

It only lasts for a while

I'm feeling the pain

My heart's got a stain

Yeah, please don't go

I don't wanna be off on my own

I guess it's not my choice

But I'll still raise my voice

Sometimes I still feel you near

I forget you're not really here

And sometimes I cry

I cannot tell a lie

My brother, my friend

I'll see you again

This isn't the end

'Cause the sun still rises

It rises so high

We don't have to say goodbye

Wipe away my tears

Take away my tears

Yeah, I know that you're strong

And sometimes we didn't get along

Yet, I'd still play Legos

Yeah, I don't wanna let go

I liked when we'd act like psychos

And the little scrunch of your nose

Yeah, I loved when we were crazy

I won't let my memories go hazy

My brother, my friend

I'll see you again

This isn't the end

'Cause the sun still rises

It rises so high

We don't have to say goodbye

Wipe away my tears

Take away my tears

I'll try to hold on

Even though you are gone

You went home in a hurry

But I'll try not to worry

And when I get there

I'll ruffle your hair

And I'll see you smile

Then it'll be the end of my trial

My brother, my friend

I'll see you again

This isn't the end

'Cause the sun still rises


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar


Points: 454
Reviews: 3

Donate
Fri Feb 12, 2021 8:54 pm
strangelyregular wrote a review...



First of all, I'd like to congratulate you for being brave enough to put something so personal to your life up on the Internet. This is clearly an incredibly heartfelt and emotional piece - I'd love to see what it sounds like sung. I do have one point of criticism, though. It sounds a bit overly adherent to its rhyming structure? Like, it's not bad, but I do think it could stand to get a bit out of that "smile/while, choice/voice, pain/stain" one-line-after-another structure. Maybe consider using a few more slant rhymes or structuring it as an ABAB or ABCB type thing rather than an AABB? (Again, I could be wrong, it's just a matter of personal preference.)




User avatar
1215 Reviews


Points: 10822
Reviews: 1215

Donate
Fri Feb 12, 2021 3:28 am
Elinor wrote a review...



Hey AngelLily!

Thank you for sharing these very sweet lyrics written in memory of your friend. I wonder if you're planning to set these to music eventually? I would love to hear what this sounds like set to music, or at the least, what you have planned for it.

My first comment is a small one. Because this isn't broken up into stanzas, it was a little bit harder for me to follow how you wanted the song to progress, if there was a chorus you wanted to anchor the rest of the piece. Usually, songs are about conveying a feeling, and I like how keep going back to this idea of the sun rising once again.

Anyway, you did a great job with this, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it. Hope this helps and happy writing!

All the best,
Elinor




User avatar
59 Reviews


Points: 3884
Reviews: 59

Donate
Thu Feb 11, 2021 9:06 pm
MailicedeNamedy says...



It´s a beautiful song! I have experienced the same some years ago. Stay strong! :)




AngelLily says...


Thanks



User avatar
75 Reviews


Points: 3296
Reviews: 75

Donate
Thu Feb 11, 2021 7:44 pm
illy7896 says...



This is such a nice song. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you get through this




AngelLily says...


Thank you




Obsessing over what you regret won't get you anywhere.
— Steggy