z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

I'm NOT Sick

by AngelLily


ACHOO! Bucky opened his eyes as another sneeze echoed through the room. ACHOO! Bucky looked at you, his blue eyes laced with concern. You sneezed again before going into a coughing fit.

"Doll, are you okay?" Bucky asked sitting up in bed.

"I'm fine." You said as you coughed again. "I'm gonna get ready for training."

"Doll, I don't think that's a good idea." Bucky said as he watched you stumble out of bed.

"Of course it is."

"I think you're sick." Bucky stated frankly.

You turned so fast it would make Pietro's head spin. You looked deep into Bucky's soul.

"I don't get sick." You said before going into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

"Whoa, okay." Bucky said before throwing off the covers to get ready for the day.

~~~~~~~

ACHOO! ACHOO! You sighed before another coughing fit overtook you.

"Uh, Y/n, I think you might wanna sit out for a few minutes." Bucky said getting out of his fighting position.

"What?! Why?! I'm perfectly fine! It's just allergies!" You said glaring daggers at Bucky.

"Okay, okay, sorry." Bucky said getting in position again.

You lunged forward, swinging your fist, but your head was kinda foggy so you missed completely and your momentum caused you to fall on your butt. Tony burst out laughing, clutching his belly as he bent over.

"Please," Tony laughed breathlessly. "Do that again."

"I'm going to kill you, Stark." You growled, but couldn't quite finish what you were saying because you started coughing again.

"Let's take a water break." Bucky said as you nodded, covering your incoming coughs.

You walked toward the bench, wanting to feel water down your throat. You tripped over your own feet and face planted into the ground. You angrily got back up, Tony laughing once again.

"Why'd you trip me, Stark?" You said as Tony laughed.

"Man, being sick makes you really loopy, doesn't it? You tripped over your own feet." Tony said before walking out of the room, his laughter echoing behind him.

"Doll, can you please rest?" Bucky said as he steadied you. "It's okay to be sick."

"I'm not sick, Bucky, okay? I'm just a little tired. I'm sure some more training will wake me up." You said before sneezing.

Bucky sighed. "Whatever you say, doll."

~~~~~~~

Thud. You fell on your butt, again. You groaned in frustration as you sat back up again. You coughed again, this time it sounded painful and Bucky winced.

"Just admit it, you're sick." Bucky said couching beside you, putting a loving hand on your shoulder.

"No, I'm not." You said shrugging Bucky's hand off. "Stop being so protective."

Bucky watched as you slowly got up and walked out of the gym. He wanted to just love you and cuddle you through your sick time, but you refused to admit you were sick. Sighing, Bucky grabbed his stuff and walked out of the gym to find you, which wasn't hard because he could hear your sneezes from a mile away.

"At least take a shower and try to relax a bit." Bucky said as he saw you stumbling around the kitchen.

"A shower does sound nice." You said as you coughed.

"Please, for me." Bucky said kissing your forehead.

"Fine."

~~~~~~~

You were cold. Like freezing cold. You stumbled around you and Bucky's shared closet. Where was it?! Your eyes landed on Bucky's white NASA hoodie. You snatched it quickly and pulled it over your head. You coughed and shivered. Why was it so cold? You turned up the heat in your bedroom.

Bucky walked in and was blasted with a heat wave.

"Whoa, doll. It's burning hot in here!" Bucky said as he saw you reading your book covered with blankets.

"What are you talking about?! It's freezing cold in here!" You said before sneezing loudly.

"Just go to bed. Close your eyes and go to bed." Bucky said grabbing the book from your hands.

"Hey! Give that b-ACHOO!"

"No! You need rest!" Bucky said marking your spot, before setting it on the nightstand

"Never!" You said before coughing again. "I'm NOT sick!"

~~~~~~~

Bucky sighed as he entered the kitchen. No matter what he said or did, you wouldn't just rest. Bucky had had enough.

"Hey Bucky, whatcha doing?" Clint asked walking into the kitchen.

"Trying to find some medicine for Y/n, to make her go to sleep." Bucky said rummaging through the medicine cupboard. "I'm just not familiar with all this new medicine, so I don't know what to give her."

Clint smiled. "Just give her some NyQuil."

"NyQuil? I think Steve told me about that once. How much should I give her?" Bucky said grabbing the bottle, trying to read the directions.

Clint snatched the bottle from Bucky's hands. "Just give her the whole bottle."

Bucky rose an eyebrow. "I don't know, it seems like a lot."

Clint clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Trust me, I'm a father, this helps. The whole bottle should do the trick."

"Okay...I guess." Bucky said grabbing the bottle from Clint's hand.

Bucky walked out of the kitchen with the bottle, and once he was out of earshot, Clint began to laugh.

"This is gonna be great!"

~~~~~~~

Bucky entered your shared bedroom and cornered you.

"At least take some medicine, doll." Bucky said making sure you couldn't escape.

There was no point in fighting him. You were feeling loopy, and your vision was going blurry.

"Fine." You groaned.

"Drink the whole bottle." Bucky said handing it to you.

If you were in your right mind you would have told Bucky he was crazy, but whenever you got sick, you could never think properly. You grabbed the bottle and chugged the whole thing down.

Soon, you were sound asleep, and Bucky smiled. He kissed your forehead and covered you up.

"Get well, doll."

~~~~~~~

Bucky was worried, like REALLY worried. It had been two days and you still hadn't woken up. Bucky had told Bruce about what happened, amd got an your lecture about how you should never take advice from Clint. Bruce told him it should wear off soon, but Bucky was still worried.

You began to stir, and Bucky's blue eyes darted toward you. You slowly opened your eyes and Bucky sprang toward you.

"Thank goodness you're awake!" Bucky exclaimed enveloping you in a warm hug.

"Geez, Barnes. Did I sleep for that long?" You joked.

"You slept for two days straight, doll." Bucky said, his arms still around you.

"WHAT?! TWO DAYS?! WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME BARNES?!" You exclaimed as Bucky quickly backed away.

"I may or may not have given you a whole bottle of NyQuil." Bucky said with a nervous smile.

"I'm gonna give you five seconds to run." You said glaring at him.

"You're better now, right? That's good." Bucky said with a nervous laugh.

You jumped out of bed and lunged toward Bucky. He could have easily ran away, but he was so glad you were awake he just let you beat him up. He was a super soldier anyway, so it didn't hurt. After you were worn out, Bucky hugged you and gently kissed the top of your head.

"Now that you're done," Bucky said kissing you again. "Clint is the one who told me how much to give you. I'm not familiar with modern medicine, so I took Clint's advice."

You kissed Bucky back before saying, "CLINT! YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T FIND YOU MISTER!!"

Clint squeaked once he heard your voice and quickly took cover in the vents.

"It's good to have you back, doll." Bucky said hugging you.

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Bucky." You said leaning into him.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 452
Reviews: 11

Donate
Tue Sep 01, 2020 9:02 pm
JunePearl says...



I thought that your idea was actually really creative, and I enjoyed 'being' in the story.

However, I think that there wasn't really a ton of context in the story. For instance, who was Clint, who was Tony? And why were these people fighting? Was it Martial Arts? Karate? Kung Fu? Also how old were these characters supposed to be? In the story I acting like a younger teen, maybe 16 or 15, but Clint, who I assumed, was friends with Bucky, was a father. So was Bucky way older than me? Or did he have an older friend? Or were was I just older than I acted? I was also slightly confused in the beginning as to where I, or 'Doll' as she was nicknamed in the story, was. Grammar was also not correct, but I do understand that sometimes it can be hard to catch. I've practiced quite a bit so I have gotten better, but I'm clearly, like everyone, not perfect. A few other thing that I would suggest, is the about the whole NyQuil bottle thing, and about the first time she fell while fighting. First off, a full bottle of NyQuil would have much more serious consequences than sleeping for 4 days. Also, if you hereto lunge forward it would be quite hard to fall on your bottom, you would instead 'face-plant'. One other thing, is that I don't believe that many people actually sneeze when they're sick. Or at least not that loud or often. It's more of a stereotype sort of thing when it comes to being sick. One last critique is that you shouldn't use words like kinda, and instead should use kind of.

Aside from my critiques I do think that this story was a very creative, and unique idea, which is definitely something important when it comes to writing. Please do continue writing. Thank you!




User avatar
105 Reviews


Points: 1303
Reviews: 105

Donate
Fri Aug 28, 2020 2:38 pm
momonster wrote a review...



hey, MomoandAppa, here to review! let's get started.

"Doll, are you okay?" Bucky asked sitting up in bed

a comma is needed after asked.

Bucky said getting out of his fighting position.

a comma is needed after said.

You said glaring daggers at Bucky.

a comma is needed after said.

Bucky said getting in position again.

a comma is needed after said.

Bucky said as you nodded, covering your incoming coughs.

take out the word "as" and replace it with a period.

You coughed again, this time it sounded painful and Bucky winced.

put a semi-colon or a period after again.

Bucky said couching beside you, putting a loving hand on your shoulder.

a comma is needed after said. replace the comma after "you" with "and"

"No, I'm not." You said shrugging Bucky's hand off."

a comma is needed after said.

"Please, for me." Bucky said kissing your forehead.

a comma after said.

"What are you talking about?! It's freezing cold in here!" You said before sneezing loudly.

take out either "freezing" or "cold".

"No! You need rest!" Bucky said marking your spot, before setting it on the nightstand.

put a period after said. write,"He marked your spot before setting the book on the nightstand."

"Hey Bucky, whatcha doing?" Clint asked walking into the kitchen.

a comma after asked.

Bucky said rummaging through the medicine cupboard.

a comma after said.

Bucky said grabbing the bottle, trying to read the directions.

put a comma after said, and a period after bottle. write,"He tried to read the directions."

Clint clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Trust me, I'm a father, this helps. The whole bottle should do the trick."

a period after "trust me". also, drinking an entire bottle of NyQuil means I'm dead. so thanks xD.

"Okay...I guess." Bucky said grabbing the bottle from Clint's hand.

a comma after said.

Clint began to laugh.

"This is gonna be great!"

why does Clint want to kill me? :(

"At least take some medicine, doll." Bucky said making sure you couldn't escape.

a comma after said.

"Drink the whole bottle." Bucky said handing it to you.

a comma after said.

It had been two days and you still hadn't woken up. Bucky had told Bruce about what happened, amd got an your lecture about how you should never take advice from Clint. Bruce told him it should wear off soon, but Bucky was still worried.

write "and got a lecture about how..." also, Bruce is really dumb if he says I'll be fine after drinking an entire bottle of NyQuil xD.

"Thank goodness you're awake!" Bucky exclaimed enveloping you in a warm hug.

a comma after exclaimed. also, the hug wouldn't be so warm if he has a metal arm xD.

"I'm gonna give you five seconds to run." You said glaring at him.

a comma after said. i think it's really cute that Bucky is this really tough guy, who is scared of me, a 12 yo.

"Now that you're done," Bucky said kissing you again.

a comma after said.

"CLINT! YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T FIND YOU MISTER!!"

a comma after the second you. again, really tough guy, scared of me xD.


"It's good to have you back, doll." Bucky said hugging you.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Bucky." You said leaning into him.

a comma after both saids.

sorry if i was too critical. also, when does this take place? before/after Infinity War and Endgame? that's all for now! bye!!




User avatar
178 Reviews


Points: 34
Reviews: 178

Donate
Thu Aug 27, 2020 9:37 pm
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Hey! Andrew here to review. This was interesting, I haven't read much fanfic and I haven't read much of anything in the 2nd person, kinda caught me off guard, but not in a bad way. I have to admit I did not expect to get kissed on the head by bucky today but that's just what happened.
So, I have a feeling this would be much funnier to someone deeply engrossed in the marvel universe. Don't get me wrong, I watch the movies, but that is the extent of my relationship with that fandom.
I think its main flaw is that is a bit confusing. I'm not entirely sure of the context. Timeline wise are we like, when are we? Right after the civil war? Where are we? Some secret training ground for avengers? Why would hawkeye want to poison us with Nyquil? Why are we sick? Is this part of something larger?

Also, according to my extensive research (a quick google (; ), I discovered that drinking a bottle of NyQuil would do much more than put you to sleep, including a lot of fatal things.

I'm not quite sure of the point or purpose of the plot, besides the fun of getting to pretend to be Buckys seemingly bad-a girlfriend who for a day.
Not something I was exactly daydreaming about, but interesting.
But that's all just my two cents!
I think the thing that caught my eye about this story was the 2nd person narration, made it feel personal.
Thanks and keep writing!
-Andrew





I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
— Steven Wright