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Demons— A poem

by AngelLily

Demons come and demons go

Even when you do not know

They know your fears

They hear your tears

Cast them in the fire

They destroy a heart’s desire

Struggle is their favorite flavor

A taste they love to drink and savor

Mostly in the dead of night

When fear is at its tallest height

They love when children crowd and scream

Especially when demons gather as a team

Even a tiny cry of fear

Will not go by a demon’s ear

Among the shadows in a hive

A place they will forever thrive

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33 Reviews

Points: 303
Reviews: 33

Sun May 31, 2020 1:31 pm
nanda wrote a review...

Nice! In fact very nice. Good work do e. A very good thing I found about this is the poetry's unique title and theme. And as per what I learnt after reading it, I suppose it also delivers a message. A message that it is important to overcome the fear that one carries within himself...isn't it? That to overcome the challenges of life one has to give up one's inner fears. It is truely a fantastic piece of work. I loved reading it.
I especially liked the way you used rhyming scheme in your poetry. You must also try to write a free verse poetry.
Your language, I thought, could be a bit better as per your age.
But altogether it was a very good poetry and the theme, as I said, was really good and exquisite.
I wish you a good luck for future. Keep it up!

Best wishes

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40 Reviews

Points: 1520
Reviews: 40

Sun May 31, 2020 12:29 pm
Shadeflame wrote a review...

Hi AngelLily!
I'm Shade here to review your poem today!

I loved the fact that you put it all in italics. It really helped to add to the creepy vibe that you had going on. There were a few points, however, that were confusing so I'm going to tell you about them.

Mostly in the dead of night

When fear is at its tallest height

They love when children crowd and scream

Especially when demons gather as a team

The first part and the second part don't really fit together in this stanza. They seem like two different descriptions. Also, when you wrote
"They love when children crowd and scream
Especially when demons gather as a team."
The rhythm is off there. It slowed me down while I was reading it. I think maybe it was because the bottom line is too long.

That was basically all the problems that I had for you.
Overall, I love the use of the words you have here and the imagery that it brings to mind.

Keep writing!

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16 Reviews

Points: 120
Reviews: 16

Sat May 02, 2020 6:22 am
JenTep wrote a review...

This was a fun read to harken back to all those sleepless nights of self-loathing and regret. I'm my own greatest demon but things have been better over all the years, it's good to be reminded of how far I've come. Your poem really pronounced that feelings in me, I've had my demons, still do but things have improved. It's really well put together and I may be motivated to check in on a few friends of mine to make sure their demons aren't getting out of control. Thank you for sharing!

Peace and blessings,

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47 Reviews

Points: 21
Reviews: 47

Sat May 02, 2020 3:47 am
ToxicAnglerFish wrote a review...

Hello! I have come to review your poem today! I must say, this is a very charming and lovely poem! I want to get into it!

This poem is very well-formatted and very well written! I love how you made a rhyme scheme and flow by making two lines rhyme together but the next two lines have their own rhyme, it's very well done and creates an even ad yet smooth flow transition to the next rhyme as you read it. It makes it the poem easy to read, digestible, but yet also fun to read at the same time! I also love the well selected, vibrant, and sinister the vocabulary is, it paints the images of the scary and preying demons very well! It also shows your colorful, and wide grasp on vocabulary and how much you know! I hope you keep writing!

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
— Homer Simpson