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The Light Maiden's mark, Chapter 8 - Unfortunate Realities

by AneiDoru

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and violence.

A short time later, Gabrielle had set Skyler onto a bed in the castle’s infirmary. He hadn’t talked ever since Cara asked them to follow her there. Gabrielle was worried, he seemed shaken after he admitted to killing innocent people. “I’ve been meaning to ask you a few questions,” she said in a soft, hushed tone. She was sitting down in a chair next to the bed, worry filling her chest.

“I’m guessing you want to know all the horrible things I did,” he said gravely, looking away from her.

“That’s not what I was going to ask,” she retorted. She already felt the mood, and knew it wouldn’t be the right time. “I wanted to ask you how you turned your hand into a blade.”

“Oh, that,” he said, perking up and looking back at her. “It’s an inherited trait. No dark magic involved. I got the ability to do that from my new mother,” he said with a small smile.

“New mother? What do you mean?” she asked, her eyebrows twisting in confusion.

“Oh, I... “ Skyler whispered, his smile faded.

“This has to do with you not being human anymore, doesn’t it? You can tell me,” Gabrielle assured, her face softening into concern.

“It might be too heavy for you to handle though,” he warned, lowering his head.

“Too heavy? What do you mean?” Gabrielle said, leaning forward.

“It’d make you sad if I told you.” he clasped his hands together.

“You just mean that you were adopted right…?” she said, trying to find another explanation.

“No, my new biological mother,” Skyler said with sadness in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me, you…” she gasped and put an open hand to her mouth. The realization had hit her, his old human body was gone somehow, and her mind immediately jumped to him dying and getting a new body in some mysterious way. Sadness punched her in the gut, taking the wind out of her lungs and clouding her eyes with tears. She tried desperately to catch her breath past the newly formed lump in her throat. All of the good and bad times she had with him flashed in her mind. Something as horrible as dying happening to him was more than she could take. Pressure formed in her throat, chest and stomach as her feelings of sadness struggled to get out.

“Gabby please,” Skyler said, he then sat up and slid to the edge of the bed and embraced her, resting her head on his shoulder. “Don’t cry, I’m right here.”

He used it. The nickname that he gave her a long time ago. She remembered the countless times he said it, and another wave of crushing sadness hit her in the stomach. She put her hands on his chest. Her lips quivered as she tried to hold back from sobbing openly. All she could get out were gasps, sputters and silent cries as tears streamed down her face and onto Skyler’s shoulder.

“I’m still here, I haven’t gone anywhere,” he said, consoling her.

She felt the warmth of his body heat in her hands and from his left arm wrapped across her back. He always used to embrace her when she was sad, without fail. She remembered when the guy she asked out to prom in senior year rejected her, and the time she got the news of her dog being run over by a car. She even remembered him embracing her back in third grade when she started crying because her parents refused to let her go to a popular kid’s birthday party. “B-but…” she croaked, but found it hard to get words past the rock hard lump in her throat.

“It’s okay, I’m still here. Not even death could keep me from you, I’m still kicking,” he said, squeezing her tightly.

Those words were all it took. She planted her face into his shoulder and sobbed openly.

Skyler rested his head on her shoulder, and closed his eyes. “It’s okay, I swear. I’m fine now.”

She didn’t believe him, the fact that he went through dying crushed her, she felt so bad for him, not to mention that he was still bleeding from his stitches. “No, you aren’t,” she said defiantly, wrapping an arm over his shoulder and onto his back.

“Come on, Gabby, please don’t cry. It’ll be fine. There’s nothing either of us can do about it now,” he said, then pulled away while still holding onto her.

Covering her face with her hands, she started to sob more softly. “I… I’m sorry I ever left,” she said, shaking her head.

“That was something you couldn’t control, and my new family was partially to blame for you not being able to find me earlier,” he said with a serious look on his face.

“What do you mean?” Gabrielle said, looking up from her tear soaked hands.

Skyler sighed, and closed his eyes again. “My new father. He came up with a plan to make it impossible for me to see you, I was given fake papers and moved out after the government found out about the power he gave me,” he said as a look of disdain swept across his face.

“What power?” she said, then rested her hands on her lap.

“The power to see people die in real time, something that took me months to turn off by myself. The government used me to help solve a string of very sensitive crimes,” he said, his expression morphing into one of pain.

“That’s terrible, how did you stay sane?” she asked, a look of shock and concern on her wet face.

“I didn’t,” he mumbled, and let go of her. “Anyone would still have a few screws loose after seeing everything I have. And it got worse after getting my new body. Morphing powers in my arms wasn’t the only inherited trait I got,” he said, looking haunted.

“Death vision was also an inherited trait, he could give it to anybody, but his progeny all inherited a stronger version of it. That, and every kid Mother had with him inherited her cursed bloodline, which drives anyone with it insane eventually,” he said, and pointed to his head.

“My half-brother was fine up until Demon Hunters killed him, and when his father brought him back, it was with a different personality. My mother’s blood activated when he was brought back, causing him to have split personalities. It took him months to even regain control of his mind,” he said with a frown.

“My mother, him and me are the only ones of our kind left. My father had way more kids, but created an airborne disease that killed all of them but me. He was purposefully trying to get rid of me again, but I managed to fight it off after being as sick as a dog for months,” he said gravely, folding his arms.

“I thought that Cara person said you were a Darkling, like those little ones that attacked us,” Gabrielle said, a look of concern on her face.

“Darkling is the name given to every creature in the Dark Lands, not just those Mole Imps that you saw earlier,” he explained, tapping his fingers on his arm.

“By the way, why did those imps call you the Forsaken One?” she said as she scooched forward in her chair.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask me that. Forsaken is the name that my kind were given. I’m the only Darkling that is one is why. The scar on my eye is one way they can tell,” he said, scooched back and laid down on the bed.

“What’s another way they can tell?” she asked, wiping her face dry.

“Another way to tell is all Forsaken have a very distinct mouth, I’m not showing it right now because it’s scary looking,” he said, placing his hands behind his head and relaxing.

“Scary looking? It can’t be that bad,” she said, wiping her wet hands on her dress.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, and turned his head towards her.

“Show me, I’m not scared,” she said defiantly, gripping the cloth on her knees.

He took his left hand from behind his head and brought it up to his face, he then touched his left cheek with his finger, and made sweeping motions across his skin, quickly drawing an invisible pentagram. His mouth stretched wide across his face and stopped almost at the edge of his face, leaving half an inch of cheek left on either side, the sounds of bones crunching rang out as his teeth sharpened and extended. His lips and nose disappeared, and the teeth on the right side of his mouth extended further. The right side of his mouth was stretched wide in a slight upward curve, the opening of his mouth at the top became slanted, revealing long, angler fish-like teeth, which petered out until it reached the left side, which were normal sized but sharp and pointed at the end. There were no rounded corners to his mouth, the edges of his mouth on the right side just ended in sharp corners that were almost symmetrical but not quite, and the left side didn’t have a rounded edge either.

“Oh, my god,” she said with a gasp, covering her hands with her mouth.

“I told you it was scary looking,” he said, his mouth unmoving as he spoke. He took his hand and pressed his thumb in the middle of his chin and his finger where his nose was. He pulled his fingers together, and more crunching noises resounded. He took his hand away to reveal that his mouth, lips and nose returned to normal. He put his hand back behind his head and turned toward the ceiling.

“I didn’t always have the ability to hide it. In fact, it took a few years for that kind of technology to be created. Some kind of morphing magic combined with synthetic material that imitates organic structures. Imagine having to walk around with that scary looking mouth for years! It made a lot of bad first impressions, at the very least,” Skyler said, then breathed deep and rested his eyes.

“So, what was that Cara girl talking about? The thing about a ritual, what did she mean?” Gabrielle asked, taking her hands off her mouth and leaning forward.

“Oh, that. It’s basically the same kind of thing I gave you, only much stronger, and done with light magic instead of Zoriyan,” he said, and brought his knees up, arching his legs.

“Where did you even learn that kind of magic? The Mystic said it was ancient,” she asked, scooching back in her chair and straightening herself.

“That ‘Cara’ person you keep talking about is actually my grandmother. The one who trained her for battle was Zoriyan as well, actually, her battle trainer is queen of the Zoriyans. I was introduced to her after I was reborn, she taught me many things about fighting, both magic and melee,” he said, then rolled onto his side towards her and rested his arms in front of himself.

“Your grandmother? She’s too young looking to be your grandmother,” she said, a confused look on her face.

He laughed in response. “She’s way older than she looks, that’s what happens when your body stops aging,” he said as he tucked his hands under his head.

She reached out and touched his elbow. “I’ll be here all night, so let me know if you need anything.”

His eyes opened, and he looked up at her with an expression of shock and worry. “I really don’t think you should do that. You need to get to your own bed.”

She shook her head. “No, I’m way too worried about you. I’m staying right here for the night, and there’s nothing you can say that will change my mind,” she said defiantly.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” he said and closed his eyes again.

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577 Reviews

Points: 2198
Reviews: 577

Tue Sep 26, 2017 11:18 pm
Magebird wrote a review...

Hello, AneiDoru! I apologize in advance if my review isn't helpful.

My only problems with the grammar of this chapter were touched on in the previous two reviews, so I won't go into depth discussing them. If reading through them doesn't help, feel free to ask me any questions you have! I'd gladly explain how they work.

In my last review, I mentioned how much I loved Gabrielle for the type of character she is. Though the last chapter made me like him as character, this chapter made me truly love how interesting and unique Skyler is. You had the perfect opportunity to create a dark and brooding love interest for Gabrielle. For a little bit, I thought you had. But the way that he reacts to Gabrielle's responses in this chapter changed my views on that. You did a wonderful job at making him seem human - even though he no longer is one. Most male characters don't have the emotions you gave Skyler. I love how you made the decision to make him different.

I'm curious about the effects of sleeping in the same bed in the dream world. Skyler seems worried, but not enough to put too much effort into convincing her to go back to her room. Hopefully I'll be able to find out what happens in the next chapter!

I really enjoyed reading your work, and I'm sorry if any part of my review seemed harsh. Also, please feel free to PM me if something I said doesn't make sense. I'd be happy to explain it to you. Keep up the great work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! I hope you have a wonderful day/night!


AneiDoru says...

You know what, I'm going to DM you the google doc of the story so you can comment on where to fix things, because you aren't telling me anything.

Magebird says...

I'm sorry for not going into specifics, but it was throughout this entire chapter and the last. I didn't have time then - and still don't have the time - to go through the entire thing and fix every mistake. Since I still wanted to help you out with it, I suggested you look through what I had said in a previous review because that still applied here. I don't have the time to go through the chapter and fix all of the mistakes.

AneiDoru says...

Then what am I going to do? I don't understand what you are talking about, so I can't fix it.

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275 Reviews

Points: 16677
Reviews: 275

Mon Sep 25, 2017 1:16 am
rosette wrote a review...

Hey AnieDoru. :)

I think I may have missed a few chapters, or so, in this series, so I wanted to drop by again, and see how it's all been going. And wow - WOW! You did so good with this chapter! Gabrielle's emotions were so strong and clear throughout this. I loved it! This right here...

“Don’t tell me, you…” she said, gasping and putting an open hand to her mouth. The realization had hit her, his old human body was gone somehow, and her mind immediately jumped to him dying and getting a new body in some mysterious way. Sadness punched her in the gut, taking the wind out of her lungs and clouding her eyes with tears. She tried desperately to catch her breath past the newly formed lump in her throat. All of the good and bad times she had with him flashed in her mind. Something as horrible as dying happening to him was more than she could take. Pressure formed in her throat, chest and stomach as her feelings of sadness struggled to get out.

THIS was SO good. <33
I can tell you've been working on the whole emotion thing with Gabrielle, and I just had to say you're doing a wonderful job.
It's awesome.
No matter how upset Gabrielle may have been about the mark Skyler gave her, she really does care a lot about him. You made that obvious here, which I greatly appreciated.

You also answered a lot of questions in this chapter, concerning Skyler - so yay! I don't feel as confused on some things at hand, but I'm still struggling a bit with Skyler's new body, and family. You might have covered this point in an earlier chapter, but I don't see why Gabrielle was freaking out when she found out about this new body, when she already knew he didn't have a human body. ??

I thought you did a good description of Skyler's Forsaken mouth. Definitely creepy sounding. Though I am wondering why the Forsaken have such a distinct mouth like that...

Anyhow. Sorry this was so short. I'm a little short on time, at the moment.
But if any part of this review sounded harsh or cruel - or if any of my previous ones did - I sincerely apologize. I didn't mean to offend you, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.
I honestly mean it when I say this was a great chapter. I wish you the best in your future works. <3


AneiDoru says...

No, you're fine, I'm glad you liked it!

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802 Reviews

Points: 18884
Reviews: 802

Mon Sep 25, 2017 12:39 am
Dracula wrote a review...

Hey there, AneiDoru, I'm here for a quick review. :D

The first paragraph was a good 'what previously happened' summary to keep the reader up to date. It didn't feel like a heap of telling, but rather like you were describing the present scene.

Something you could edit is your use of dialogue tags. It's great that you don't use 'said' every time and instead show things with their actions, but sometimes dialogue tags aren't necessary at all. If there are only two people speaking, you can generally establish who is talking and then skip the tags until something changes. Some examples of unnecessary tagging are: “It’d make you sad if I told you.” he said, clasping his hands together. You could just say he clasped his hands together, forgetting the 'said'. “Don’t tell me, you…” she said, gasping and putting an open hand to her mouth. Again, you could just say that she gasped.

She even remembered him embracing her back in third grade when she started crying because her parents refused to let her go to a popular kid’s birthday party.
I liked your use of flashbacks. They weren't too long or too short, and served well to emphasise and validate her strong emotions.

“Your grandmother? She’s too young looking to be your grandmother.” she said, a confused look on her face.
Gabby and Skyler's relationship is well portrayed. They obviously care a lot about each other and Gabby is not afraid to show it. I wonder why Skyler is concerned about her staying there? This is definitely foreshadowing, isn't it? Even though Skyler just told her a lot of information, I get the feeling that there's still something he's hiding...

Anyway, thanks for sharing. I hope the above points help. :D

AneiDoru says...

I'll edit accordingly, thank you for the compliments!

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364 Reviews

Points: 15980
Reviews: 364

Sun Sep 24, 2017 8:24 pm
zaminami wrote a review...

Hello, AneiDoru! Welcome to YWS! It’s Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside...

STOP! Grammar time!

“I’ve been meaning to ask you a few questions.” she said in a soft, hushed tone.

Okay, you do this a lot, so quick dialogue grammar lesson here:

Unlike a normal sentence, you don't need to put a period at the end of a sentence if there's a tag sentence immediately after. You replace that with a comma. For example, you don't use:

"Hello." said John.

You use:

"Hello," said John.

However, if you're using an exclamation mark or a question mark, you don't need to replace those with a comma. Only periods. I don't know why. English is weird, I know.

she retorted, she already felt the mood, and knew it wouldn’t be the right time.

This is a comma splice. To fix this particular one, I would turn the comma into a period.

Not even death could keep me from you, I’m still kicking.

This is another comma splice. Again, make them separate sentences.


Either "ok" should be capitalized, like "OK," or spell out the full word - "okay."

That, and every kid mother had with him

"mother" should be capitalized, since it is a proper noun.


I actually had a lot less problems than I thought it would have, though the main problem was the dialogue, which I gave you a lesson about :D good job.

Give me your soul --


This review courtesy of




AneiDoru says...

I edited accordingly, if I missed any, please reply.

zaminami says...

Okay :D

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
— Sigmund Freud