a broken heart is full of careless, thoughtless stitches
their personality is full of endlessly switching switches
their heart is full of holes and scars
embedded in their skin are painful, countless shards
be careful when handling this heart, as shapeless as it may be
it had no shape, too many holes and cuts to take form, you see?
new scars may cover the old
but every scar has a tale to be told
but no matter how many old scars get covered by the new
the blood that pours out will never subdue
and endless ocean of tears, with blood raining across the sky
with a grief-filled voice screaming the thunderous words,
" why? why?! WHY!?”
the ocean of tears crashes against the land
carved from long-lost love by thy hand
on that island against the teary sea,
im pretty sure i see a sad face smiling at me
the flowers have wilted, the trees are dead
all that grey fills me with dread!
that person was gone. i blinks once, twice, thrice
to see them again would have been nice
my own heart tightened with great sorrow
just then waves crashed so high, i don’t think i would see tomorrow
but no matter the circumstances, ill handle this shapeless heart with great care
i will not ignore the scars that are there
pain was felt with every lash
as my own heart saddened another wave crashed
this hearts pain will not be forgotten
ill make sure of it, for it i have gotten!
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
I deleted a few exclamation marks because I personally cringed every time I saw it while re-reading it
Hey friend! I am stopping by to leave you a review on this lovely poem of yours. I am always delighted to read your poems, because I find that they are so heartfelt and filled with personal and deep thoughts. Let's jump right into the review:
So from my interpretation, this poem speaks about a broken heart. You seem to talk about negative emotions associated with being a person with a broken heart, such as its improper healing, such as broken stitches. You seem to warn people about dealing with you, because of the brokenness of your heart, which has been caused by them. This is a really interesting way to express trauma, in my opinion. I love the metaphor you use of this broken heart that seems to not be wanted by anyone. It feels like you want to be loved, but you consider yourself unworthy because of your flaws, which caused you a lot of distress in your life.
Towards the end of the poem, we see a bit of gentleness and tenderness with yourself. You talk about wanting to handle this heart with great care. This makes me think that you might be talking about someone else's heart, or even your own too. It hints that there might've been some sort of physical violence as well. Whether these lashes are literal or more emotional, the pain is still just as deep. I love the statement you make about the pain that your heart felt never being forgotten. Normally we see this is a bad thing, but you seem to enlighten this in a way, as in, never forgetting it being a sign of strength. I actually love that so much. That speaks to me a lot, personally. Overall, I see a lot of resilience and strength in your words. This felt a bit disorganized, but in a very good way, which reflected the content and pain in your speaking about. Overall fantastic work!
Your friend,
Ellie
It's beautiful Apple!! - Kristen Danger
thanks Dragon Fruit
"new scars may cover the old
but every scar has a tale to be told
but no matter how many old scars get covered by the new
the blood that pours out will never subdue!" - Relatable.
I really like how you write. There is a sense of calmness and I enjoyed reading this poem. I really really think you should continue writing poetry. Thank you
Believe it or not, that was the best one I have. I think. That poem is from a while ago, so hopefully I've improved!
Hey! Here for a review!
My first thoughts
It's a really beautiful poem and has great metaphors and feelings. I love your take on the feeling of a broken heart. It is edgy and affecting, in a way the lines make you feel things and feelings that are very vulnerable. The pain of old scars, old memories, and past relations do get covered but never forgotten. I loved the thoughts and pretty much everything. The loss of something or someone, most probably someone is what I am left feeling lingering in my mind after reading this. You said times have been tough for you, I hope things work out for you soon and you find strength<33
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The first two lines are just truly gripping. "switching switches" love the alliteration. Great lines to start off the poem.
Simple but really telling and quite beautiful.
Structure and Form
The length of the sentences is just perfect, I like long connecting lines in poetry. The rhyming was actually great and added a quite good flow, I also am a fan of freestyle poems but I really think it depends on the type of poem you intend to write and this was perfect for the rhyming scheme. The small case letters give of the right feel for the poem.
A lil suggestion~ Not much suggestion, I will just according to me this poem would suit well without exclamation marks, like maybe a comma in places where needed.
Overall a very beautiful piece, it was nice reading it:)
Keep Writing👍
-Alice
alright! thank you, but I think I'd prefer it if I kept the exclamation marks. Have a good day!
There seems to be a glitch posting my review twice, so don't mind this.
Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me coming in with a little review. I think you did a good job here I enjoy seeing the rhyme scheme start to unfold. The theme is very relatable as I think everyone has been hurt by someone they cared about at one point or another I also tend to be stuck in the past. I feel you also got the emotions across with the imagery in a nice neat manner however there are a few things I want to point out. Do keep in mind these are just my opinions and by no means need to be taken into account.
Firstly I would capitalize the I's to give it a more polished personal feel this is more a nitpick of mine so feel free to ignore that.
Secondly In this line " their personality is full of endlessly switching switches" switching switches feels a bit redundant perhaps flickering or flipping would work better.
Overall It's a solid piece keep it up and go drink some water!
thank you so much! the review is very valid. And I'm sorry about the typos, I simply uploaded it on another site. I'll fix that immediately.