Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
duct tape is silver
and silence is golden
bronze is the liver
hessonite is blood stolen
chapped lips are rose agate
sapphire tears as I cry
for you love someone else and you'll never be mine
like onyx as white as freshly fallen snow
you care for him more than me, and god does it show
sea glass like your eyes, so pretty, so clear
I get more and more insecure every year
green jade for the sick feeling in my chest
to realize that it's all pretty words like the rest
pearls on the neck I've always wanted to kiss
cat's eye for the bile that rose up to my throat
to realize that it was a facade to think we were close
but hey, silence is golden,
duct tape is silver
all these gems make me royal
but it also makes me a killer
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Oh. OH. This made me so sad too. But it's a good kind of sad. Like a sad that I can scream depressing songs at the top of my lungs. Before I move on, I must ask... are you okay? like really?
This poem seems to be based off of imagery and I love that fact. It reminds me of someone who has synesthesia (basing things off of colors).
As you develop the situation, things go from a pretty golden to a sad sapphire blue. And when things are blue, it's sad. Haha, I don't know if I am making any sense, but I love the little comparison that it made in my mind.
I think my favorite line is
The little repetition does sum everything up and it just has a 'i get it' kind of feeling. Like hey I can't change anything. The colors don't change,
bravo, this was very well written. One suggestion that I have is in certain lines you can develop more to show emotional depth, like for example,
you can describe to how they 'cut through the night like shards of glass' and little things like that to describe each gem.
Other than that, I think the poem is beautifully written, well done
Keep writing,
KaeRae
Wow
I love this
I love then every line is a metaphor, and that all the metaphors are related and combined at the end (With the "all these gems make me royal/but it also makes me a killer" part).
Another thing I like is the transition between the metaphors that don't have as much meaning behind them (the first five or six lines) to the ones with more meaning ("sapphire tears as I cry" and the rest). I'm not sure if that made sense, so I'm going to elaborate. The first few lines could mean just about anything, and they gain more meaning and symbolism as the poem progresses.
Another thing I love is the title "a killer poem" and how it ties to the last line of "but it also makes me a killer." It ties the beginning and the end together and wraps up the poem well. It doesn't feel like it left off too early; frankly it feels like the opposite.
My favorite line is probably "but hey, silence is golden" because it brings back what it first said, and I really love repeated lines in poetry. It keeps the poem together and not floating off into other ideas.
I don't really have anything that I don't like to be honest. No complaints, only good things.
Have a wonderful day/night!