16+

House of Blood: Part One: Chapter Four: the Life of a Pirate........... In Training.

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

this is the part where we meet the characters and how they got to the mansion. you may skip this if you like. this section of the story is right before all the action for readers who enjoy a little peace in the story rather than all action. . if you would like, you may skip to the second part, where all the characters get into the action. the second part begins after chapter twenty one. there is an instruction manual in the next part. this part of the story contains: language, sexuality

hi! nice to meet you! im a pirate, did you know? pretty cool, huh? ive never been on a pirate trip before, but i really want to learn. i hummed " yo, ho, that’s the way to go, a pirates life for me!” while i tightened the nearly invisible string for my trap. that’s right. you got it: im obsessed with pirates. im only fourteen, but don’t worry! ill make the best pirate you’ve ever seen, just you wait! i already live on a ship. super cool! its really big and really expensive. my parents are rich but im poorer than a vampire with sawed-off fangs. Lila walked up the slanted plank that connects the ground to the ship. woah, pink explosion! pink alert! my eyes, my eyes! the girl with her had a pink skirt, pink shirt, pink eyes, and even pink hair. whats with the pink? and it just so happens to be my least favorite color. humph. she stopped at the entrance and looked around. my face twitched, but other than that, i don’t think i gave anything away. she was looking to see if i had set any traps. i wouldn’t expect anything less from a friend who has known me why whole life.

" there doesn’t seem to be any traps around here” Lila said with a nod. her friend tapped her shoulder.

" traps? you mean, like, booby traps?” the girl said. i picked up some fearful vibes from her. she was scared of me, i think. Lila laughed out loud.

" yeah, Jake here is known for his tricks and pranks. their mostly harmless and his way of saying " i like you be my friend” but watch out when they turn harmful. that means he doesn’t like you.” i threw a kid fit.

" you know, im right here, you guys!” okay, now im glad i set that trap. pay! as Lila walked across the entrance, her foot tripped on the see through string. bingo. she tripped and fell. the string was connected to a knife at the top, where it was entwined and twisted so that it safely held the handle. when her ankle hit the string, it pulled the string back so that the knife went across. right beside the knife blade was a sack of flour. so when the string was pulled by Lila’s ankle, the knife went across in the direction of the sack of flour, ripping it open. twenty pounds of flour in a huge bag was opened, and it rained all over Lila, who fell and was facing the ground. there was so much flour that it hit her friend, whom i still don’t know the name of. me and her friend burst into a fit of side splitting laughter as Lila lay there, more white than ever. she got up, a scarily calm look on her face. uh-oh. when shes clearly pissed but has a calm look on her face, you better run. her eyebrow twitched, along with a glitchy smile that spread across her white face.

" oh shi-” the chase was already on. in mere moments she was chasing me and her friend, who was now more white than pink due to the flour. laughing and running until we couldn’t breathe, we plopped down onto the ground. Lila jumped up and landed right on my stomach, more specifically her knees. the rest of her hit my side.

" oof” was all i said with a pained expression on my face. Lila, finally receiving her victory. relaxed an flopped on top of me. her friend lightened up.

" doggy piiiiiiile!” she said and flopped on top of Lila, who also said “ oof” . soon, we found ourselves asleep. apparently, Pinkie was named Alicia.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
DreamyAlice
Review

Hey there! Alice is here to give a review!

MY FIRST THOUGHTS

A cool aspiring pirate we meet this chapter! He seems funny! I liked the three character's interaction and the playful and relaxed atmosphere of this chapter

NARRATION/PLOT

So I checked out the character list, I was pretty confused about the structure of the plot you were making but now I know you are just trying to introduce the characters through short scenes before you get into the storyline. It's a creative way I must say, jus make sure the chapters don't get too long as you have to start with the main plot as well! But yeah it's fun to play around with the characters.

DIALOGUES

There were fewer dialogues and they seemed pretty fitting except few places it laked the natural tone. Otherwise, they are pretty fine!

CHARACTERS

Jake seems to be like a fun character we will have on the character list. Lila seemed pretty close to Jake and they two can be a good duo or with Alicia a good trio maybe.

NITPICKS

Ok so now I will have to ask, I reviewed your last chapter as well and I saw there was no capitalization or use of commas in places they are normally used and the punctuations were not right, throughout the whole chapter, is it a purposeful thing?

OVERALL

A nice introduction to a fun character. A light read, I liked it.
Keep Writing👍
-ALICE^-^
Image

Yayyy new friend for Jake! :D I read the character sheet again and it said that Lila has a crush on Jake…hopefully the feeling is mutual. Alicia seems nice too. They’d all make quite the swashbuckling crew. If Alicia and Lila want to be pirates, that is. Everything is alright and fine for them…for now at least. Anticipating more in this story.

I hope that you have a wonderful day and night.

User avatar
AkiraBaker
Comment

do you guys think that you can let me know if you see any typos? thanks!



Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl: it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling.
— Henry David Thoreau