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Young Writers Society



The Dragon Thief

by AceassinOfTheMoon


The clicking of Yanfei's claws against the rough stone of the tunnel sounded like cymbals clashing and alarm bells blaring in her ears. Any moment, she expected someone to turn the corner and catch her, and she knew if that happened, she would be shown no mercy. 

Her deep sapphire scales caught the flickering torchlight and reflected off the shimmering curved wall about thirty feet to her right, creating strange illusions in the corner of her eyes and making her heart beat faster and her body freeze every time the illusions twisted into a vaguely human or dragon form. 

Focus, Yanfei. Focus.

The spicy, burning scent of another dragon surrounded her, emanating from the walls around her, mixed with the delicious smells of paper and ink, getting stronger as she crept closer to her destination. She knew the dragon themselves wasn't here, though, just their scent. If they were here, she wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near their lair- and, more importantly, their hoard.

There were others here, though. Other dragons, maybe. Perhaps just regular humans or Kitsune. She didn't know. It didn't matter. She couldn't be caught by anyone - dragon, human, Kitsune, or otherwise - anyway.

There. Her destination, a large stone archway, lay in the wall in front of her. She hesitated, sniffing the air delicately, then launched herself forward, long, sinewy body slicing through the air with ease as she glided through the archway and immediately pressed herself against the wall. 

Nothing happened.

She exhaled slowly, flicked her tail, and Shifted to human. It'd be easier to carry what she was looking for if she had hands.

With new, weak, human eyes, she surveyed the room.

Tight rows of shelves stretching to the fifteen-foot ceiling, each straining against the weight of hundreds of dusty books of all shapes, sizes, and colours. Grey stone walls. Grey stone floor. And the - weaker, now that she was human - scent of dragon. 

Yanfei's mouth went dry at the sight of it all, and for a moment, the Greed overwhelmed her mind. Her hoard was nothing like this, nothing as beautiful and extensive, and she wanted it all. She needed to have each and every one of these papers, take them back to her home and stroke each cover, sniff each paper, curl up on a bed made of books and scrolls, and finally let her hunger for more, more, more be satiated...

She shook her head. 

No, she had a mission. She had a specific book she needed.

She glanced over her shoulder out the archway, still seeing no one, and plunged into the rows of bookshelves. Searching quickly, careful not to touch anything if she didn't have to so as not to leave any more of her scent behind than she could help, she found the book she needed at the very back of the large, book-filled cave. Hesitantly, she reached for it, fingers trembling as she slid the gold-laced tome free, half-expecting someone to pop out of nowhere and attack her. 

Nothing happened once again.

Eyes flickering nervously down the bookshelves - had she heard a noise? - she quickly stuffed the book into the bag she'd brought for this purpose and forced herself to move slowly and silently toward the exit, even though every inch of her body was screaming for her to Shift and run.

She cautiously peeked out of the archway, immediately ducking back in as the shadow of a dragon appeared on the far wall of the hallway. She pressed herself against the wall, praying to whatever gods would listen that the dragon would pass by without looking in the room or smelling her or noticing her in any way. The scraping of claws on stone sounded unbearably loud and accusing to her inferior human ears, and against her will, her eyes started to water with fearful tears. 

Click, click, click... The sound drew closer, closer, closer... and stopped, right outside the room Yanfei was hiding in. Her heart skipped a beat, and she barely dared breathe as certain death tightened its cold grip around her chest.

Then, the sound started again. 

A long, lithe, red-scaled dragon passed the archway and moved on, the clicking of its talons growing fainter and fainter. 

Yanfei waited, counting each second silently, until she'd been standing still for fifteen minutes and was reasonably sure the dragon wasn't coming back and no one else was coming. Then, moving with muscles stiff from fear, she retraced her steps through the tunnels, up and out and away to freedom.

~~~

The old man was watching her. She hadn't been sure before, but he wasn't trying to hide it anymore, his dark eyes uncomfortably fixed on her. 

Yanfei looked away and down at the cloth-wrapped package on the table in front of her. The contact had promised to be here half an hour ago to take the book off her hands, and he had yet to show up.

She took a sip of her water and shot the old man another glance across the crowded restaurant. He was still looking at her... or was his gaze fixed on the package in front of her? Somehow, she had the feeling he knew exactly what she had, and... he wanted it.

She hesitated, then got up and slipped the package back in her bag. The contact wasn't coming. If he really wanted this book, he could find her again, but she wasn't going to wait around for him. Not while the old man was watching her. She needed to get away and find a safe place.

Casting one last glance over her shoulder at the old man as she slipped out the doors, she quickly strode down the street, ducking her head as she passed people. 

The old man didn't follow her.

She kept to the main streets as she made her way home. It was longer, but she had heard too many horror stories about people with valuables getting jumped in back alleys and shortcuts to risk it, not with what she had in her bag. Keep to the main streets, where it was safe and there were other people.

She relaxed a little as she turned onto her street, which was a mistake.

She'd have to go through the back alley to get to her home - a cave dug out beneath an abandoned house - but she felt safe enough in that alley. There were people in the houses nearby, they'd hear her if she got attacked, right?

Right?

She first noticed the dark figures out of the corner of her eye, merely a reflection in a window. Her heart sank and she glanced behind her. As soon as the figures noticed her looking at them, they sped up. Yanfei squeaked and sped up as well, but the figures were still faster and soon they were too close for comfort. 

Suddenly, one of them shouted a command, and a spark of magic flew from one outstretched hand to trip Yanfei. She cried out as she stumbled and fell against a wall, nearly dropping her bag as she tumbled to the ground and scrambled to try and sit upright. Pressing her back to the wall, pinned there by the four figures spreading out to come at her from all angles, she swallowed hard. Dark cloaks, glinting weapons, dark, angry eyes, all little pieces of an equation that confirmed what she'd known from the start of this adventure: This had been one of the worst mistakes of her life. 

Never steal from another dragon. Her mother had tried to drill that message into her head when she was little. Never steal from another dragon. Don't sneak around and steal, crush them and take. Unless you can beat the other dragon, touch nothing of theirs. That's the first rule of our life.

She hadn't listened well enough, apparently.

"Wh-what do you want?" she whispered, clutching her bag to her chest, gaze flicking nervously to each hooded figure in turn. 

Wordlessly, the figure standing right in front of her held out their hand. Their dark hood covered their face in shadow, masking all features except their eyes, burning with equal parts anger and pity.

... Pity?

"I need this," Yanfei protested weakly. "I need it- I need the money, please, don't be mad at me..."

The figure leaned down and took the bag easily from her hands, her fingers too numb to resist too much. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, hot tears springing up. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, please, I know I shouldn't have done that... kill me quickly, at least, I'm really sorry for stealing from you..."

There was a long, heavy pause, and she dared to open her eyes and look up at the figure again.

They had removed their hood, revealing the old man from the restaurant earlier, his white hair pulled back in a neat ponytail away from his wrinkled face and dark eyes. He looked like a regular old man- or, he would have, if she couldn't see the power brimming behind his eyes.

Gods save her, this was a Great Wyrm, thousands of years old, with enough power in his little finger to completely wipe out a Wyrmling like her. 

And she'd stolen something from his hoard.

He extended his hand toward her, and she flinched away.

"Don't be afraid, little one," the man said quietly. "What's your name?"

"Yanfei," she replied, almost tripping over the single word in fear. "D-don't hurt me, I'm sorry..."

"I'm not in the habit of hurting children," the man said kindly. "My name is Nysianth, and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, even if you did try to rob me." He left his hand extended, and Yanfei tentatively took it and let Nysianth pull her to her feet.

"I'm sorry, I really am-"

"So you keep saying." Nysianth inspected her carefully, then met her eyes. "How would you like to come work for me?"

... had she heard him right?

"What?"

"Work for me," Nysianth repeated. "You obviously need the money, if you're foolish enough to try and steal from me, and I'm willing to forgive and forget if you're willing to take a better path from now on."

"W-what would I do for you?"

"I've turned my hoard into a library, and I need librarians to help me manage it. You'd get to sleep down in the tunnels, you'd get to be around my hoard all day and help manage it, and you'd get fed and paid regularly."

"What's the catch?"

"All I ask is that you add your hoard to mine. It will remain yours, of course, and we can mark your hoard as 'yours', but it will be kept with mine and treated as part of the library."

Yanfei hesitated, Greed welling up again. She didn't want anyone else touching her hoard.

"Or I can kill you for breaking the ancient Rules and stealing from my hoard," Nysianth reminded her gently.

"... I'll work for you."

Nysianth smiled. "Wonderful. Welcome to the family, Yanfei." In a more commanding tone, he added, "collect your hoard and follow me."

Yanfei nodded and ducked inside her home, returning with her arms piled high with books and scrolls. Trailing Nysianth as he strode out of the alley and down the street, she finally took a deep breath and relaxed.

She wasn't dead, and she now had a better place to stay and a job. She didn't know many dragons that had jobs. 

She was lucky that Nysianth was the forgiving type and willing to give her a job.

She smiled a little. She was already looking forward to her new life.


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54 Reviews


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Thu Sep 02, 2021 9:43 pm
Quillfeather wrote a review...



hello AceassinOfTheMoon! Nicole here with a short review.



first impression: I thought the storyline was pretty interesting. I really like the way you presented it. I also like the way you made the scrolls treasure instead of the normal gold that you often see. I like the theme of changing between dragon and human. i find that really cool and interesting.


things you could fix: you are pretty much good here. the only thing I found was pretty minor.
when you said

She knew the dragon themselves wasn't here, though, just their scent.
you may want to change that to something like: she knew the dragons themselves weren't there.



recap: overall I thought it was a great story!

keep writing!

-Nicole




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39 Reviews


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Thu Aug 12, 2021 6:13 am
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HikariHateke says...



Oh this was an awesome read I loved it!

The description of the library! (I love library's so much! I think I'd live in one forever if I could!)

Oh the fact that they have human forms is intriguing!

I love Nysianth, he's interesting and I can't wait to see more from both him and Yanfei!




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Wed Aug 11, 2021 3:49 pm
Stori wrote a review...



This story shows promise, but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered. For instance, besides having sapphire scales, what does Yanfei look like? Is her human form oriental-looking, as her name suggests? Are the dragons in this world Western, Chinese or are there different species?

What sort of architecture does the city have? What's the weather like? Remember, us readers only experience as much of your world as you describe.

Also, there's no need to keep repeating that Yanfei now has a job. Perhaps you can say, "She knew plenty of dragons who were out of work." Which leads to the questions, "What sort of world is this where dragons can be unemployed? Are there homeless shelters and services for the 'less fortunate'?" And so on...




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Wed Aug 11, 2021 1:04 am
TheWordsOfWolf wrote a review...



Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, and goodnight or whatever it is in the universe in which you exist. Anyway as @WrenZorya summoned me to this story I knew it must be something good, and by just reading the title I knew that it was indeed. Upon further investigation, (reading further) that point was only further confirmed. I love this story!
I got so undignifiedly excited when I read the shifting bit. Shapeshifting dragons are one of my favorite things to find in fantasy and I love to see them portrayed the way you have.
This really leaves me wanting more, mark of a good one I heard. Your story is engaging your worldbuilding just magnificent and your characters are interesting, nice work! Keep writing!

as always,
Wolf




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Tue Aug 10, 2021 3:55 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Heyyyyyyy! Forever here for a review!!

This was awesome as a short story and if you want to extend it, then also, it would be awesome. Well, actually you write great when you are exhausted, at least in my opinion. Also, it didn't at all get worse as it progressed to the end, in fact, it got better, I think.

The Worldbuildung was really great, including the presence of humans and dragons side by side. There was a horror sort of feeling when you said she would be shown mercy but the story took a nice turn. Er... The law of the dragons seems not to be very cool, at least it's cruel. However, I am glad that the old man was not one of those cruel men who would kill the thieves instead of rectifying their mistakes.

Now, something which I wonder about is why did she really wanted to steal a mere book? She could steal anything else and maybe that would get her more money or is it that books are the most valuable in the dragon world? I just need some clarification on the topic. Apart from that, the story was really awesome. And yes, if you want to continue or extend this farther, be sure to tag me.

Just lemme know if my review was of any help and if you have any questions regarding the same, feel free to ask.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




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Tue Aug 10, 2021 3:18 pm
SalemReine wrote a review...



Good morning/afternoon/evening/night! Wren here for a review! I also think @TheWordsOfWolf would like this story!

First impression: Wow!!! This is amazing!!! I need more of this story, please tell me it's going to be a series!!! I love dragons and Yanfei seems like a good one, she was only stealing because she was desperate.

The clicking of Yanfei's claws against the rough stone of the tunnel sounded like cymbals clashing and alarm bells blaring in her ears.
This is a notably good description, I can feel the fear and tension that poor Yanfei is experiencing as she struggles to get her job done.

Yanfei's mouth went dry at the sight of it all, and for a moment, the Greed overwhelmed her mind. Her hoard was nothing like this, nothing as beautiful and extensive, and she wanted it all.
This does seem to be very on-point with all of the dragon things I have read, they're all very obsessed with their hoard! I like how you showed Yanfei's greed to be consuming and almost uncontrollable.

Eyes flickering nervously down the bookshelves - had she heard a noise?
Again with the descriptive feelings, it is extremely well done!

Gods save her, this was a Great Wyrm, thousands of years old, with enough power in his little finger to completely wipe out a Wyrmling like her.
Interesting, I like this little bit of worldbuilding here that explains the power levels!

"Don't be afraid, little one," the man said quietly. "What's your name?"
Aww he seems sweet!

"I'm not in the habit of hurting children," the man said kindly. "My name is Nysianth, and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, even if you did try to rob me." He left his hand extended, and Yanfei tentatively took it and let Nysianth pull her to her feet.
I like Nysianth, he seems like a nice guy! He would make a fantastic grandfather!

"Or I can kill you for breaking the ancient Rules and stealing from my hoard," Nysianth reminded her gently.
Ah. Well. Cruel.

She smiled a little. She was already looking forward to her new life.
A very satisfying end to this story! I hope she's happy with Nysianth and his hoard!

I really love how instead of the hoards being gold, they're made up of books! I find that very interesting and relatable!

Overall a fantastic story, keep up the amazing work!! I look forward to reading more!!




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Tue Aug 10, 2021 12:29 pm
RealSadhours296 wrote a review...



Ooh my god; I want more of this story. I really, really enjoyed this!

The world building was gradual, but great. The descriptions were detailed, but not overly detailed to where it bordered on purple prose. The paragraphs were perfectly short. The story was intriguing and heartwarming. This is just my cup of tea!

I don't have any real problems with this off the top of my head, and didn't notice any grammar mistakes on my first reading, so props to you!

I'm really curious about the book Yanfei tried to steal. I'm also curious about Nysianth. You could turn this into a full-fledged novel if you really wanted to.

Keep up the good work!





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