Life !

Life full of content of thesaurus. Different dialects, qualities, attitudes, flavors of different perspective of people. When one is fanatic, some are just fancy towards it, while others are hatred of the same. Different things of different gesture align themselves and come along, falling on a same plane. Over populated plane meets some known, familiar and also unfamiliar. No one can make every task accomplished.someway; no one can become righteously familiar to everyone in the crew. Also, can’t avoid they themselves becoming prey to hostile mouths. Because if everything is right in its path and are predetermined, life loses its trench. No soul is contrary to sin-doer; rather they are put to situations forcing to commit it. People are the major victims pulled and pushed accordingly to the fate favorites. If not we all are gifted with self-control, everybody would have been sailed hard. Few try to preserve and nurture it while other few leave it uncured that leads to deterred aspirations. Ultimately purity of blue turns into grey ashes!!!

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Points: 896
Reviews: 117

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Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:27 pm

rishabh wrote a review...

it is a magnificent work! but less! expand it and conquer the stage mate! ur work is praise-worthy plus unique! write more i want to see ur length! life is not too short that u r completing this essay in one para. ur vocab part is grt! i loved ur writing style! it is 10 on 10! u are close to bingo ! man! just take my advice and give some space to expansion in ur stuff!

i hope my review is worthy......if it is then u will show more work to me! i will review em all! although i will read ur previous work! but i want tym!

good job!

Points: 1117
Reviews: 74

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Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:40 am

HaleyPenguin wrote a review...

Hey!!!
I actually, first off, want to say great job on this. It really is amazing and seems to tell a hidden truth about what life really is. I do have a quick critique though:

"Life full of content of thesaurus." There should be an is between life and full. This is a great starter, and pulls the reader in to wonder what else there is to be said.

Personally, I think this is very well put, and you did an amazing job on this. I really do hope that you continue with your work.

Points: 290
Reviews: 4

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Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:40 pm

BreBre wrote a review...

Hey brebre here this is my first time reviewing so i hope i do well on this. I love this work. There are a few simply spelling mistakes. Right from the start I could tell this was going to be a good literary work. Although you had a few mistakes i thought it was a very good piece of work.

--Bre

Points: 2117
Reviews: 159

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Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:51 pm

Skydreamer wrote a review...

Hi Achu! (I like your username!)

First here are my edits/corrections:

Life full of content of thesaurus.

I think this should be Life is filled with content found in thesaurus." or something close to that.

Different dialects, qualities, attitudes, all flavors of different perspectives of people.

When one is fanatic, some are just fancy towards it, while others are hatred of the same.

this needs to be changed. I would suggest "When one is a fanatic, some people like it, while some people hate it." If this is not what you meant to say, I think you really need to rethink what you are trying to say. Because, I couldn't really figure out what you meant to say in that sentence, and could only make a suggestion. So, just look it over and try to rearrange the sentence a bit better. And if you need any help remember to ask!

Different things of different gestures align themselves and come along, falling on a the same plane.

An over populated plane meets some known, familiar and also some unfamiliar. After all No one can make every task accomplished. And someway, no one can become righteously familiar to everyone in the crew.

Also, they can’t avoid themselves becoming prey to hostile mouths. Because if everything is right in its path and are predetermined, life loses its trench.

No soul is contrary to sin-doer; rather they are put to situations forcing them to commit it. Or forcing them into committing it.

People are the major victims pulled and pushed accordingly to the fates favorites.

If not we all are gifted with self-control, everybody would have sailed hard.

Few try to preserve and nurture it while other few leave it uncured that leads to deterred aspirations.

Ultimately purity of blue turns into grey ashes! (Extra exclamation marks are rarely needed...)

So, overall I was half understanding this and half confused. The last part confused me the most. And I don't know if I agree with this view of life. I don't think that we are put in situations forcing us to commit sin, we do ultimately have choice.

But it's my point of view and I surely think you have some very interesting lines there. I would just suggest checking over the way you write it out. Some things seemed out of place. Also don't forget the "s" the plural!

Interesting!

Dream on and on and on.

Points: 872
Reviews: 171

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Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:57 am

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SecreteJournalist wrote a review...

Hmm, interesting was to think of life if I do say so myself. I have written quite a few things on society, but never life. Oh yeah, im SecreteJournalist, a pleasure to meet you It is 5 in the morning where I am at, so excuse me if I miss anything in the review! And, I follow anyone I review, so consider yourself followed.

I believe this could turn into an poem, but thats just me.. (I love poetry lol) So is this a rant on life? I belive that is true, but im not sure. I love how you worded everything, it gives me a good picture, without any descriptions! My all time favorite line is:

"If not we all are gifted with self-control, everybody would have been sailed hard." I love this very much, I can follow it completely!

I do not personally like:

"Because if everything is right in its path and are predetermined, life loses its trench. No soul is contrary to sin-doer; rather they are put to situations forcing to commit it."

You kinda have to kinda consider other people may not exactly follow that. I can basically claim I am a sin-doer.. I was forced upon a religion due to family history. But I learned to love it very much, so would that claim me as a sin-doer? o.o

I have spotted 2 errors in this, but they seem to easily be fixed.
The first one
"No one can make every task accomplished.someway; no one can become righteously familiar to everyone in the crew."

Where in the world did that Period come in? Does it go after the someway, or do you need to space out and capitalize the someway? I actually think you should erase the someway, I see no use for it.

The next is the very last sentence. Why do you have 3 explanation marks? If you must, delete two of them and bold the last sentence.

Overall, I like this rant on life, it needs an open mind, but I personally love it! Keep writing.. please!

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Life !

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