Doubt!!

Hey ACHU! Black here for a quick Review!

First off: Nice work here. You have a good style, a well written theme (One that I agree with for a change), and good pacing. This isn't too big either. You also have very, very interesting wording. A bit too interesting. Your grammar and spelling aren't exactly the very best, and mixed in with really formal complex words (Such as: blameworthy, agnostic, foes, antagonists...(etc.)) you get a rather messy piece. Also, I think that it would really help you if you took this point of yours and wrote it INTO a story. Ever read 'Adventures in the Big Thicket'? Put it in like that, simply, easily!

So, I'm going to do what I can for your grammar/wording/style/ and maybe even theme, but you must remember that in the end its going to be up to YOU to fix your mistakes, generalize from them, and learn, advance in the writers craft. We writers all need to understand that there's no such thing as an expert. If you think you're an expert then . . . you're not. It's that simple. Look forward and there'll be no glancing back.

Okay, so I'm starting this with Grammar :

All right, your general problem in this area is in your spelling and sentence formation. It's messy. Just an add on as well: You could really use to take this big paragraph and cut it down a bit. Seeing as your grammar problems tie closely with your Wording problems, I'm going to stick my reviewing of both into one piece.

Examples of your general problem, fixes, and then generalizations:

Man full of questions stacked in where the world itself becomes the reason. It is not that you and I alone can answer but everybody else can. Only “DOUBT” is blameworthy to all our agnostic questions.

Perhaps you see my point here? With the wording/grammar problems. The first sentence of this paragraph is VERY hard to understand, the second one I can only really guess from, and the last one is way too wordy in comparison with your grammar problem. Here's what I can do for you: Try simpler wording. Why? Because it'll go better with your grammar and make this easier to read. Use 'people' instead of 'man' (Less formal), use something along the lines of 'doubt gets all the blame' instead of 'blameworthy', use 'me and you' instead of 'you and I' (FAR less formal).

My generalization? Try to make your paragraphs sound more like you're talking to me, personally, than like you're in an auditorium. Use easy, everyday words, informal sentence structure, and a good, fast pace. But be careful!

Doubters are defeatists in front of them. Chiding personalities are thus to penalize our galore.

Again, this is really pretty much the same as the last paragraph. I mean, words like 'Chiding', 'penalize', 'galore', 'defeatists' . . . They're just too complicated for your average reader to handle with any kind of ease. Read this out loud, tell me what you think. What would you do if you were me? Well, this is what I'm going to do: This here paragraph simply strengthens my generalization stated above. Work on it! Consciously. Otherwise you will go nowhere.

And also, the title should A: not have those exclamation points at all, or B: have one less or C: have one more. 2 exclamation points is just the wrong number. Grammatically speaking.

I do believe that's enough for grammar. I'm leaving the nit-picking to you, but remember: You have to DO it, otherwise it's gonna be a hell of a time slowly kneading the problems out of your style over the years. Good luck!

I agree with your theme. Doubt is powerful, it keeps us safe, but you'd do well to mention that doubt can hold you back. Doubt can be an excuse to avoid change. And seeing as change is what makes this universe turn . . . avoiding it isn't a good thing. Always. Which is why doubt keeps a reign on is. I'd advise you to be careful with your style. Remember what I said about your grammar, be sure to break up that paragraph a bit. Write it more linearly. Don't repeat yourself. In an article this small your readers are smart enough to understand what you're saying. No need to repeat yourself.

Well, I think that's going to be enough for now! Good luck in everything!

To recap: Remember to discuss all aspects of your theme, don't repeat yourself (Too much - repeating can be a powerful separator), de-fancify your wording, simplify your sentences, and KEEP WRITING! (Otherwise you'll get yourself a one way ticket to the writer's garbage bin.

Good luck again!


~Black~