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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hello there, ACHU.
I see here a poem that seems to be about a mother who misses their child. I was a little confused with your sentence structure: "Days have abbruptly stunned... Nothing dawned, but always feeling like left behind." Were sort of confusingly constructed phrases. But the poem, in and of itself, is a good read, and it alows me to feel what the writer feels, which is the purpose of a good poem. Good job!
I will keep it simple.
Keep writing.
You have a good idea on what you want to write. But you fail to put it into effective words. You have a lot to work on your sentence structure and grammar.
With a little more practice and patience, I think you will be able to pull it off. You just have to be learn from your mistakes