Rainbow colours

Hello! Okay so, this is my first review in a little while and if what i say ends up offending you, i deeply apologize, because that isn't my intent.

First of all, I would love to say that this is an amazing poem. I really enjoyed how it could be taken in many different ways, like one from someone who is depressed or from someone who was once and is trying to shed light on a situation. In the end though it really was enjoyed by me and i actually read it out loud to my sister (whom is 11) and she seemed to enjoy it as well. As someone who loves poetry and someone who loves metaphors, I'd have to say that this was definitely one of my favorite pieces of poetry on this site so far.

Second of all, in the beginning you see someone who is either happy or pretending to be... Then the scenery changes and it's like a storm has started to form through the head of the author. I related to this a lot because it's like one minute you're happy or pretending to be and the next it's completely different on the whole spectrum. I really would love to say thank you for sharing this with us because it's definitely something that needs to be out there.

Finally, I would love to share my final opinion on the matter and say that it is very appreciated that you shared it. Not everyone has the courage to share something that may actually have a hidden meaning like this one (might have?). I honestly enjoy poems, scratch that... I enjoy anything that has a meaning deeper then the eye can see. Only people that have been through something similar can actually see the meaning. Though, I'm not saying that this does have a different meaning other then the poem itself. I would honestly just love to say thank you and keep up the good work!

Until Next time
-(whatever my username is here because i always use CaptainKiwi but this one is different)

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this poem which uses colors as symbols of emotions. I like the way that the poem conveys the deep concern for another person’s welfare and uses those color-connotations to express that concern.

Adding specifics related to each color mentioned would have been nice. You know, examples of how exactly the person was displaying or had displayed these colors via her emotions and behaviors. References of when she had she been all red with anger or all green with envy etc. That would have added more depth. Showing is better than just telling and leaving details up to the reader’s imagination.

Suggestions

Please note that one important way that poetry differs from prose is by being extremely economical in word-usage. Below are some examples on how to do this.

What I do know is that I miss your smile. [I only know I miss your smile.]

I cannot bear to see you frown like this[.] [ . . . . can’t bear your frowning.]

I [long] to see your emotions unfurl [Let your emotions unfurl . . . .]

the way they used to, [ . . . . as before.]

. . . . as you realize . . . . [ . . . . realizing . . . .]


I want to see your emotions unfurl

the way they used to, [ How did they used to?]

Adding the word "soul"to the poem seems to assume that readers believe that the body contains a spirit called a soul.

Also, the premise that for normalcy to exist everyone would need to be exactly the same seems quaint. There are hundreds of nations in the world which abide by what the United Nations considers to be normal and acceptable human conduct and yet they are not all identical.

Looking forward to reading more of your poetry.







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Hello, I'm going to analyze your poem! First off, before I start, I loved this it was beautiful and if I get something wrong while going through this, I am sorry. Anyway, onward with the analysis! So, it sounds like you're talking about someone you know that used to be happy go lucky. They were positive and had a good outlook, but something happened, you don't know what and bam: they're depressed or sad. For some reason, they are hiding their true self from the world. They don't let their emotions out anymore and so you tell them that it's ok to cry and that there is no normal because everyone is different. It sounds like, to me, you're saying that this person is beautiful because of their differences and should allow themselves to shine once more.

Okay, I'm not sure if this is the interpretation you wanted, but that's what I got out of it. It's a lovely poem and I loved it greatly. Keep up the good writing!
--RainaDee.