Young Writers Society

Hi, Lives4Christ is here with a review on this amazing work of poetry
I really see the message in the poetry, that life isn't about the outward stuff. God looks on the inside not the outside. Sometimes you have to realize this and remind yourself of this and just take break from all the drama and enjoy life.
I don't see any errors in your poetry, I really like the poem and I think it might get in the literary spotlight.
There's a Christian song by Jonny Diaz called breathe and your poem reminded me of it and these lyrics
Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
I really look forward to seeing your work in the future

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this poem concerning someone whom the speaker feels is a know-it-all and who urgently needs to be told. The poem does convey the anger and frustration that the speaker feels towards that person who is perceived as arrogant. It gives the impression that the speaker feels victimized and wants the person to receive retribution via humiliation. So if vindictiveness based on resentfulness were the emotions intended to be conveyed, then it did a very good job of conveying them.

As a reader, of course, I could not share in that emotion since I am not aware of the details. Sometimes enthusiasm in helping others via pointing out where they can improve might be understood that way. So although I did understand the anger and frustration, I had to remain neutral.

However, the possibility that it might have been inspired by advice received in the Greenroom that was understood as the reviewer knowing it all did cross my mind and proved a bit distracting.


Suggestions:

Punctuation

. . . . the go getter[,]

[y]ou're most likely wrong. [Otherwise you have a sentence fragment.]


About so many things. [sentence fragment]
[D]on't get cocky, will you? [Start of new sentence]


But, I mean[,]

nothing to the contrary to suggest otherwise? [Sentence fragment]


But more to the point, get a life!!! [Triple exclamations are considered overkill.]

Just live for once[.]

Just breathe[.]