Young Writers Society

Hey, flash fiction!

Hi Dracula, it's that guy outvaders again. It's pretty rare to see a short story actually land in the literary spotlights, so I decided to see what's the buzz all about. I also wanna challenge myself by trying to say much about what little you had to say here. Let's get right into the beef.

First off, I want to point out that this being a 351-word flash fiction worked to its advantage. It's just an opinion from some guy who writes flash fiction exclusively, but hear me out. I feel that the reason why poetry is more popular than prose in this site because they're mostly pretty short. Their shortness makes it a far less daunting read than short stories, but more than that, the reader can get enjoy the poem fully without the risk of them losing interest or forgetting anything. Every aspect of the poem is still fresh and resonant in the reader's mind even after reading. The scarceness of words also forces readers to treat each word with reverence, as if each one means something significant. This story has the brevity of a poem. That is why it is just as popular as poetry, even though it is a short story.

Another contributing factor to this story's positive reception is its easy-to-read nature. I mean, look at this! On top of being super-duper short, it's got the optimistic, inoffensive topic of love, is dialogue-driven like hell, has paragraph breaks every sentence or so, and is paced like a children's fairy tale. The story's "lightness" allow the story's ideas to sink into the reader's heads nicely and easily. Even a very casual gal who doesn't read much can enjoy this story. No wonder why everybody here's loving it.

For other remarks, I think the message of the story is nice. You also got what I like to call the "killer clincher," which is one of my favorite parts of flash fiction. There's something about the killer clincher that makes it resonate in the reader in a way that non-fiction, novels, regular short stories, or even poems cannot imitate. Maybe I can put to words what I feel about it one day.

Anyways, that's the end of the review. I know I didn't say too much, but I just felt that this story's briefness is the major contributing factor to this story's success. Just like how you did for your readers, I hope that what little I said also holds weight for you. Despite everybody loving this thing, I ain't giving this thing my like. It just isn't my kind of thing. Don't get me wrong though, I think this story is alright and deserving of its success.

I don't have anything else to say, so I'm gonna move out now. Have a good day.

-outvaders

Hello!

What a nice short story! I thought the same that if the princess honestly just liked him that not having the opal shouldn't matter. I would say adding more detail would be beneficial, but I think the lack of it works for this story, somewhat like a fairytale.

Anyway, keep writing!

SN: Aimery sounds like a pretty name.

Hello! I loved this story! It was so heartwarming and opals are my favorite gemstone, so I'd like to applaud you first for your work!

Just a few minor details. To my knowledge, usually honorific titles such as "Your Highness" or "Your Majesty", etc., are capitalized as I have written in this sentence.

“I have no doubt, your highness,” said Sir Randoll. “Now join me for supper, it is late.”

“But your highness,” said Sir Randoll, “you will have nothing to bring for Lady Mariette.”

*goes to review**realizes it's too perfect and there's no critiques*

Oh well. Next time.

Nice job!

This is a wonderful little story! So heartwarming! I always found it odd when people in stories had to go fetch all manner of weird stuff to prove their love.

I love how you've managed to convey an important message using so little words: love isn't measured in physical objects.

Keep writing!